If lost, return to the pub. Reward: a pint and a bowl of chips.

WANTED:
Someone not afraid to walk the Shmoo in public, when the dog is all dolled up in his "special" outfits.

The wanted poster for me would say...

WANTED! DEAD OR ALIVE!!

He walks these streets.
A loaded six string on his back.
He plays for keeps,
'Cuz he might not make it back.
He's been everywhere,
Still he's standin' tall.
He's seen a million faces,
And he's rocked 'em all.

For the girl I'm looking for....

I want a girl with a mind like a diamond
I want a girl who knows what's best
I want a girl with shoes that cut
And eyes that burn like cigarettes
I want a girl with the right allocations
Who's fast, thorough, and sharp as a tack
She's playing with her jewelry
She's putting up her hair
She's touring the facilities
And picking up slack
I want a girl with a short skirt and a long jacket.
I want a girl who gets up early
I want a girl who stays up late
I want a girl with uninterrupted prosperity
Who uses a machete, to cut through red tape
With fingernails that shine like justice
And a voice that is dark like tinted glass
She is fast, thorough, and sharp as a tack
She's touring the facilities and picking up slack
I want a girl with a short skirt and a long, long jacket
I want a girl with a smooth liquidation
I want a girl with good dividends
At City Bank we will meet accidentally
We'll start to talk when she borrows my pen
She wants a car with a cup holder armrest
She wants a car that will get her there
She's changing her name
From Kitty to Karen
She's trading her MG for a white Chrysler LeBaron
I want a girl with a short skirt and a long jacket

Wanted:
Girl that doesn't care about makeup but is comfortable in her own skin. Confident in her abilities and most of all makes lifestyle decisions based on logic and reason.

Reward: footrubs every night before bed?

Not romantic at all but this would be my sign:
Wanted, people who use reason, logic, science and evidence to make any important decision in life. Reward: better quality of life for all humanity.