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Marriage in society today

I was married faithfully for 38 years the first 20 happily. After that we had nothing left in common. When I lost my job and couldn't keep her in the means she was accustomed to she threw me out and divorced me. Does anyone else think the act of marriage is needed to keep two people together or is it society and religion that dictates you have that meaningless piece of paper?

Papa77650 4 Jan 29
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So, so many different circumstances ! But if a couple feels marriage is needed, it's needed.

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That isn't easy to determine. There children ,insurance questions, retirement questions that just do not get addressed when there isn't a marriage certificate and these can be very important for a woman who may never have worked or is left with small children. Divorce is a terrible especially for someone who has been together a long time. I have been very happily married for almost 60 years and we had many hard times but we always worked together to defeat a problem and that was great. I hope the rest of your life can be happy. If there are kids please keep up with them as you will need themsome day. Mine have just been wonderful. Good luck and have a nice day.

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For marriage to work, it takes two strong, unselfish, imperfect, and responsible people.

Sadly, I've been in your shoes: DIVORCE!

I did not fail in my marriage. He did.

What he did to me really didn't hurt me as much as how it affected the other person. He cheated on me with another military service member's heartless wife. Her husband was deployed to the front lines of the Iraq war in 2006. My then husband was also there, but in the Green Zone, guarded by real heroes like this woman's husband. too long of a story to tell

After finding out about my husband's betrayal, I was more concerned for the well-being of my fellow brother-in-arms whom my ex-husband had just betrayed. I didn't care about my own feelings.

I was angry because my husband could have caused the lives of other service members by forcing another to become emotionally and mentally compromised and risk the mission at hand to stay alive and keep others safe!

THAT'S the shit that did it for me. I couldn't forgive that. What he did was unfathomable and unforgivable! I had no choice, but to request that our marriage be terminated as quickly as the courts could grant it. I paid my Attorney up front in one lump payment and whatever it took to help make this divorce quick and painless. She did not disappoint.

I filed for divorce in mid-December 2006; was officially divorced by the mid-March 2007.

I warned my ex-husband to not try to fight the divorce. I deserved a peaceful ending after what he did. I hired a good Attorney whom I had once worked for. She warned him too.

I was more than generous during our divorce and asked for nothing, but my house and kids. I signed the waiver to not accept alimony. That's how angry I was inside that I didn't want a single penny from him. Just child support. I didn't want to look at him. I was embarrassed and disappointed.

He apologised profusely, but his betrayal to another military service member was too much for me. I requested that he apologise to the soldier instead.

@ProudMerrie I do not believe in dishonour. Especially, within the ranks. Big no-no for me.

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Society and religion.

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I think that without marriage and beign legally and financially entangled, people will be apt to leave too easily and wont' stick around to work through the hard times which every relationship experiences. People who work through tough times together tend to grow closer, and so from that perspective marriage does have some good points.

I think religion limits potential happiness in marriage.

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Other than the legal side of marriage, taxes, decisions concerning health issues, decisions concerning children, and issues with property, not much to it. That is quite a lot, isn't it?

I'm so sorry to hear your story . Everyone deserves much better than that. Marriage is a legal contract . A bad one at that, because it's essentially a verbal contract between two people.

That isn't my story. I was speaking in general. I have been married and I have lived with someone. I can do either. I was just pointing out it is a legal contract, and in some cases it works better for a couple than living together. In some states if you live together long enough, the state considers it a common law marriage, and you can end up dealing with legal issues anyway.

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I look at it as a legal declaration of family so that your spouse can be in charge of medical decisions etc. Should you become incapacitated. They're are many legal reasons, including tax and insurance that it needs to exist. It isn't a declaration of love so much as a legal declaration of broad intent.

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marriage was traditionally a contract for that merged powerful families, kept peace (it didn't work so well) between city-states and nations, and (theoretically) ensured economic stability for the participants. only since the industrial revolution or a little before has it been thought to be about love. surely love was often involved (romeo and juliet didn't spring out of nowhere) but society and religion, as you suppose, were not concerned with love.

what keeps one couple together is not always what keeps another couple together, and not everyone needs the piece of paper. my guy and i are living together without that paper.

g

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Religion and the legal system both work towards keeping marriages the norm for relationships. I think some of the original reasons are outdated or no longer applicable...if you don't have kids, if you both make about the same money, etc. A lot of it was to protect children and women...

A piece of paper is not going to make the relationship work...I also think that people did not live as long and now, even older couples are reviewing their relationships to see if they are still happy, growing, committed, etc. People change and sometimes the marriage suffers for it, but are you willing to spend the remaining years unhappy or unfulfilled because of societal dictates?

Perhaps we should look at alternative ways to have relationships...

@jvenus Agree...I don't fault anyone in a marriage that grows stale or apart...each situation is different...but sometimes, legal crap makes it hard to get out so I think there has to be a different way...

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I guess it has some good tax breaks if you plan on staying married.

Not always...if one spouse makes a considerable amount more than another, sometimes it is better to file separately...also, when social security comes into play, you have to pay tax on that again (stupid double taxation)...it might be better to file separately...tax breaks are not a good reason to stay married...

Actually at a certain age social security and pensions are cut once that paper is signed

2

Marriage is an antiquated societal construct.
I believe it is nothing but a waste of time and money.

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