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How do you find that "special someone"

What are some of the best ways to ensure that you can find someone that you can connect deeply with, and eventually locate the one that you want to spend the rest of your life with? I think this is the most difficult question I've ever faced in my life. I must admit that this is one thing that I've never been able to figure out. There must be some kind of a process out there that would drastically improve one's chance of success. Any thoughts?

Joyful1 5 Feb 25

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Can you dance?


It is tough--I have tried several dating sites, horrible--I keep hoping it will happen. I am 68 and would love to share the last adventure with someone. If anyone has any great ideas let me know!!


Get a robot! Then you can get one that appeals to your eyes, one that you can program to meet the most important of your needs. and have complete dominion over her. Me thinks that this would meet the needs of many. And a robot wouldn't answer back or argue with you either - and be totally agreeable at all times. Me? No robots for me. LOL


I used to know a couple (haven't seen them in ten years) who met on their first day at school, aged 4, and became friends. They were best friends right through childhood, then in their teens they became boyfriend and girlfriend. At 18, they married. Neither of them was ever interested in anyone else; they found each other and were content. When I last saw them they were in their mid-60s and still in love.

I can understand some people find this weird, but I'm extremely envious!

Jnei Level 8 Feb 26, 2018

I don't find that weird at all, and I completely understand. I've known a handful of couples with a similar story, and I'm very envious of that kind of relationship as well. I think what gets a lot of couples in trouble is that one or both partners has hid something that they should have dealt with prior to engaging in a relationship and they didn't do it. That was the problem I dealt with. Unfortunately many of the people with the most deep-seated problems are the best at covering them up. Like many have said before me "you never truly get to know someone until you marry them" I've always admired those that have developed a true and lasting bond with someone who is also a best friend to them.


There are many compatible mates out there, any of which could be “the one”. Chance and random events allow people to meet and find an ultra compatible person. Go mingle, do things and run into people. But do things you like.


It's not hard to get women to like you..

  1. join a ballroom dance class and dance with everyone! After you get better, join other, more advanced classes as well, and women will fight over you, since dance classes usually have more women than men.

  2. Learn how to give foot rubs. Offer to rub the tired feet of a few women friends at a dance, and word will get out.

My ex was a great dancer and also a licensed foot masseuse, and women would go berserk begging to dance with him or to get a foot rub, when they saw him giving me one between dances. Because there was always a shortage of men, I'd urge my ex to dance with them in turns, and of course they'd fight over him.

Sounds like good advice!


Unless he rIngs my doorbell....


To find the right person you first need to be the right person. Took me a while to understand this. but if you can know and appreciate who you are and what you want, you're better able to meet up with someone who you resonate with. Still, there are no guarantees, but if you live your life and find what helps you enjoy it, whether or not you meet up with someone you are still living your life, and if you do meet up with someone you're a better person for it. Heck, I'm still out there looking, but I wouldn't have been open to some of the possibilities that have shown up in my life if I hadn't changed the way I thought about myself.


If only it were that easy. Each person is different and so are their attractions. One first has to accept that they are who they are, don't attempt to change to be someone elses attraction. Some people may be accepting of someone a bit out of shape, but it is still good to be healthy and taking care of yourself. You habe to be honest about who you are and what you want.

Clearing out the baggage is always a good idea, but not always possible. A good therapist, hobbies, and other methods are good for getting them under control.

As redcupcoffee says groups that share your passions are great places to find people who are already interested in things you like. Ofcourse if there aren't any groups in your area it could be a lot harder; more so if you have limitations such as young children. Otherwise try dating sites, non of them are truely good, but maybe your experiences will be better than mine.



@Akfishlady hey guys! We've got a match. I'm so happy for you two. 😉

@Akfishlady The tyranny of distance strikes again.


Patience and Persistence

Don’t forget to smile 🙂


I usually start by checking the closet and the bathroom.

If she isn't there, she's probably at work!!!


Aww,wait why does your wife hang out in the closet?

She likes to leap out and scare the crap out of me!!!


I don't know, I thought I found him once. The reality was he lied too often and misrepresented himself. Had we gotten together I'd have had a basket case on my hands. When things were good they were really good, but when they went to hell it was awful.

So, I am being true to me. I am looking, but I don't have high hopes. I'm happy with my company (or so I keep telling myself). I do what makes me happy and if the right man comes along he will have to fit into my life. There are some things I would be happy to change, but some things are non negotiable. I will always have cats. I will not move far from the kids. I am what I am and that is a stubborn liberal tree hugging Grammy, and damn proud of it.


I think to find the "right person" you just need to be the right person. What do you think the good women are looking for in a man. Honesty, confidence, a sense of humor, stability, etc. Instead off finding the right woman, attract the right woman and she will find you.

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