I've only had thoughts of suicide once. I had gone on vacation and, in my sense of leisure, stopped taking my Prozac prescription. Also, I got a bit of intestinal flu. Thus, the 3rd day I was knocked out with fatigue and while in bed, began to feel suicidal in the most discrete way. It was so unusual and out of character. While I assigned the cause to the intestinal flu, I suddenly realized it was the withdrawal from the Prozac. I immediated took the capsule and very quickly recovered. Ten months later, I very gradually got myself off that shit. Bottom line: the thoughts of suicide represent a neurochemical imbalance. Having done some informal testing, I recommend CBD extract, preferably from a CBD dominant cannabis strain (not Hemp) in order to contain some small percent of THC (caution, the THC is the psychoactive part). If that doesn't help, consider trying THCA extract if you can find it. THCA & CBD are not psychoactive, but the cannabinoids may constructively interact (probably mis-identified as the Entourage Effect). Good luck.

That is a case by case answer for me....

I hear you. I hope you feel better.

I know I said this before... Please never hesitate to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 Available 24 hours everyday

To chat online with a counsellor, click here: [suicidepreventionlifeline.org]

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline website: [suicidepreventionlifeline.org]

First to answer you question, then to give you the insights as to my answer.
My first thought when I hear of an attempt at suicide, be it successful or not is that here is a person in pain. A person that feels as though they are more trouble than they're worth to the world, their friends and their family. Even in the case of attention seeking people, the pain is still real and a real attempt is altogether likely. Minus the true narcissists that jut want people to revolve around them.
I have had two honest attempts in my life.
When I was 14 I tried living with my mother. That ended in me straddling her and choking her while screaming I loved her. Quite the mess. I took everything I could find in my mother's pill box. About a hundred in all. Turns out none of the pills in question are lethal as anything useful for that is abusable and long gone. Stomach pumped. A spell in the path ward. Blah.
The second came after I jome-hospiced my Grandmother (Who raised me.) and my Great Aunt Betty withing two months of one another. In that time my gf of 8 years chose to cheat and leave me. After the first and before the second. The timing was what finished me. That time I took pills that would most definitely work. The leftover Morphine, Dilaudid and many many others. Within those two months I basically had to dehydrate to death the only two family members that both said they lived me and meant it. My sister lives with me during that time. She didn't bother to check on me for two days. I eventually called my ex and got her there. Believing I was drunk she bought me Steak-N-Shake and hot me to sleep. In the morning I started foaming at the mouth and having seizures. Then she realized I wasn't lying about what I'd done. After two days there's nothing a doctor can do for you. I simply survived. People tell me it wasn't my time but I just think my abuse of opiates prepped my body to survive. At any rate I'm still here.
Since July I have envied the dead. I left my fiancée in an attempt to protect myself from the heartbreak of infidelity. That failed but is a whole other story. I am currently addicted to heroin. I have upped my dose to the pint of breaking myself and being sick pointlessly in a half-assed suicide attempt(s). I recently caught myself a felony possession of a controlled substance. The irony is that now that I have a record, I can actually get into a rehab like I've been attempting for two months. I still don't want to live, but I also don't want my kids to lose me. Despite the fact that their mother lives them a hundred miles away and in with the first man that would allow her to live free and not work. I've only seen them once. Mostly due to me failing at life from dope. I know I need to get clean and I'm trying. But my failure keeps me from them. I don't want them to have to hurt by seeing me. I'm a failure. But I can improve. That's why I'm grateful for my felony charge. The rehabs around here have five months waiting lists. The felony gets me in upon my court date. Shame it had to go that way but I'm still grateful.

I want to die almost constantly. I am only alive and have not attempted again because of my kids. My live for them is stronger than my depression. The depression is caused by my live for them. Oh yeah, I envy the dead.

I wish to tell you that life can become worthwhile again. Obviously you need help with the chemical imbalance but moreso you need someone or someones to be there for you that understand. It is of the utmost help I have found. I wish you the best. Hang in there. You're not alone when you just barely survive each day. I promise you.

I'm so sorry to hear about these experiences and holy fuck, what do people get from being hostile to someone who is suicidal?!
I'm glad you are getting help and seem to have some support systems that are working for you. I'm studying to be a therapist and hope that I can help tether people to hope who feel like they don't have any.
Much love to you. Always keep fighting. ❤️❤️❤️

From trying to kill myself and self harm and panic attacks and depression and substance abuse all I see is you need help and it doesnt matter why at all. there are a lot of people who mock you who have never been threw any of it and people talk about everyone. I let it slide off of me like water off a duck back. fuck what people think. to you your important. if you really wanted to die you would be dead ie jump off a tall building or something so part of you wants to live.people have real trouble with mental problems because it scares them because they don't understand. all I can say is if you want it there really is light at the end of the tunnel even if its a very long tunnel and the right people will want to help you. forget the rest. take care

WoW !  What an increadable heart wrenching story. I read every word and I do hope that sharing your trauma has gone a little way to helping you to find a small measure of peace.  I am pleased to see you are obviously under the care of many specialists.  To a very minor degree I have experienced similar thoughts as you, due to debilitating depression. My thoughts are with you and I do wish you the very best in health improvements. With lots of love from New Zealand.

I cling to the idea of suicide as a final escape. My dad had Alzheimer's and I have kidney disease, with the distinct possibility of dialysis in my future. Suicide is there if I need to escape from either of those possibilities. I am alone, no kids, no spouse, no siblings. There is no reason for me to endure suffering in order to spend more time with anyone.

No one knows what is going on in another's life, unless they ask. Everyone's pain is different, and for some is too difficult to bear. One of my nephews committed suicide because his girlfriend cheated on him with a friend of his.
You are dealing with self-worth issues. Those are debilitating. I have dealt with then my entire life. I have not gotten to the point you have reached, and I am not making comparison, I simply mean to say I understand the emotions.
That you are seeking a counselor is hopeful, but you need to find reasons to fight. You have an effect on people's lives, enough so that your manager prodded the police to check on you. Enough that you were given a promotion. You matter to someone.

I don't look for ways to de-legitimize other people's pain. I can acknowledge that they're in pain without necessarily endorsing their reasoning or bad decisions that make some part of that pain self-inflicted. I understand that I'm my own worst enemy, too. It's called "epistemological humility".

That said if I knew you well enough to be straight with you about some way(s) in which you might be undermining yourself, I'd do so.

Of course they need help, but I understand some people say that pityingly or condescendingly. My first response is generally to ask whats wrong/why do you feel that way/can i do anything to help or to say im here to listen or something along those lines. I have attempted suicide a number of times myself. I have friends who have attempted. I had a friend who succeeded. Just keep doing what you're doing - kudos to you on being so open and brave.

I have mainic depression. My coping mechanism is to plan and pull off some epic vacation. It sometimes takes years to get everything gathered and arranged. The buildup is part of the therapy. I have to plan, build things, gather things, arrange things. The current project is at least 3 years to tour the Maine coast by sailboat. This winter I am building the boat. Hundreds of hours when into research, planning, designing, and building. I am on track to be actually sailing sometime before summer. The plan this year is to be able to sail 70 miles with camping gear to Assateague island. Over next winter build a cover for the boat to be better able to handle open ocean and peddle powered propulsion, I don't like noisy motors. Then a summer trip to NYC and probably a week touring North Carolina outer banks. I don't have a winter project, probably lots of looking at maps, and at least 1 run for whale watching, I need to get set for cooler temperatures. That next summer should be along the Maine coast. I have spent 3 and a half years on one single epic trip, but more importantly for 3 and a half years I have been planing and building and dreaming. My whole life I don't slow down enough to let depression catch me.

This is a sad story. I have heard that people who live through suicide attempts say that after jumping or whatever they realize that they do want to live. Living through it gives them newfound reasons to enjoy life. Would you say that ever happened to you?

Most people are jugemental and do not understand the difference between a cry for help and seeking attention. Most people think they have most of the answers. Most people listen to respond and not to understand. Unless you have suffered from depression it is very difficult to understand what it is like to live with this disease. My advice is keep posting. We need to educate the masses one posting at a time.

I try to assure myself suicide is the easy way out, I used to say the cowards way out. My son who was 50 at the time had been partying way more than I realized and his dr also put him on the strongest dose of xanax, in time he was buying them off the street, he came to my home ever sundy the same happy engaging smile, always wanting to know if there was anything I need help with as he joked you just keep getting shorter, bottom line for like 3 months he was drinking heavy and taking xanax, so he was to drunk to drive, so he was going to walk home,4 or 5 inches of snow on the road, he cut off the road and was taking a shortcut up to the next road, walked into or fell into a pond and drowned, that was on March 17/2018, but he was not found till April 9th as the bar was not willing to just hand over the surveillance tape. and the cops did not want to believe me he was missing, but he would never have left his dogs alone one liar friend had cops looking in wrong place, I knew he was dead, dogs along to me that, but since then sometime the urge to oft myself are very strong, I was watching 2 cardels out my back window as I was fixing coffee, and I just broke down once again but sobbing not just the rolling tears, I do not know what I want from this group, I have never believed in god, so much so I can't even capitalize it, but i've always wanted to believe and a spirit world,and a few odd things incourged that thought, but that even fit into someone who can't force them self to feed into the evil of a god? from march 16 to april 9th my heart even breaks more thinking of my handsome well liked son under water and floating in water,and I just want out, but I have to cats i've had for 12 years and they are my responsibility , until they pass I can't pass , at least no on purpose, I probably make no sense and my mind does not function smoothly anymore, age, but I think the last year of my life has just shut me down to a almost nothing, clean litter boxes 3 times a day, eat a poptart or a sandwich or half one, that's my life I thought of grief counseling but most all are religious related and all the god shit and believe me no one wants my ideas on if he were real what a evil piece of shit he would be, but he is not real, so that handles that,sorry this is so long

Please Seek out a therapist who specializes in Cluster B personality disorders and/or Dialectic Behavior Therapy. Make sure that you work on a getting a correct diagnosis or this one confirmed. PTSD seems to be the popular label thrown out today, just like Bi-Palor was a few years ago. It will be important for the therapist to get input from family and friends so they have as much unbiased information as possible. Suicide comes in many forms from total dispair, to gaining attention to wanting to punish others. Good luck to you.

My diagnostic list is long, and overlaps in symptoms with my medical diagnoses.

I'm in constant physical and mental pain. I stay for my cats and the children I work with.

I've been doing the whole Cognitive Behavioral Therapy program for over a year, and met with even more rejection. I'm trying to persist, but it's all bloody depressing.

I've been trying to get more physically and mentally healthy so I can build friendships and relationships with people, but keep getting rejected IRL.

A permanent solution to a temporary problem?

I actually have a close friend who called me at 1:00 am to tell me he was going to shoot himself.

I stayed in the phone until he promised me that he would talk to a counselor through the VA and try to get help. I talked to him about his kids, his dogs, or anything important to him.

I finally convinced him to try get help by telling him he didn't have anything to lose by waiting to shoot himself later. He's still around things are going well for him, and he hasn't been suicidal for 9 years.

He lives in the middle of nowhere; so calling 911 wouldn't have saved him.

The reason I will never attempt suicide again is because I have come to accept that I am not excused from the table until it is my turn, and every failed attempt tends to leave a person worse off than how they were when they were already ready to kill themselves. Most suicide attempts fail. I used to work in the hospital, so I've seen the results of a lot of failed attempts - plus, obviously, all of my attempts have failed. The greater the liklihood that the attempt will work, the bigger the consequence if it fails.

People get burned out from hearing about suicidality pretty quickly. Some people never could handle it, and they come back with the worst responses. Everyone, even those who have been there, and those who have been trined in how to deal with this, has a limit. I'm not inclined to talk to anyone about a current suicidal feeling unless I am quite certain they can handle it, and there is something they can do about it (which almost exclusively means trained professionals). Other than that, I may share about my history, making it clear that there is nothing for them to worry about now or in the future... but I don't need the level of care that you do. I get suicidal thoughts more often than I care to admit, but since I don't believe that would do any good, I can rapidly dismiss the thoughts. Sometimes I get suicidal impulses, which are different from thoughts, but usually they only last a second or so, and I'm aware that just means it's time to adjust my antidepressant, and make an earlier appointment with my psychiatist. Last time I tried to quit smoking, at three and a half weeks, I got 20 minute strong impulses to commit suicide, with only a 5 minute break in between, until I got hold of a psck of cigarettes and lit up. In 2 puffs I was fine, and then I clled my psychiatrist. It took awhile to get the cigs because while the impulses were going on, I didn't trust myself to move, and just kept reminding myself "This is illogical. It wouldn't work, and I'd be worse off." That was an unreasonably challenging test for me, but I made it through. The fact tht I made it through even such an unreasonable challenge means to me that I actually do have a pretty good handle on this. This works for me now, and I hope that someday, you will be at this point, too.

I hear you that you are not there now though, and honor your need to have others aware to help you survive. Good for you for recognizing your limits. Just be aware that some people can't handle it at all, and others can only handle so much of it. In order to avoid as much negative backlash as possible, it's a good idea to lean on the professionals as much as possible. Whoever you need to reach out to, whenever you need to reach out, that is of course always an option. It's just more of a risk with some, and more of a risk the more frequently you do so with people who are not professionals who are on duty specifically to handle that kind of thing - so it's usually easier on you to go to them the most often. As for the rest, of course you should make whoever aware who you need to be aware, and remind them as often as is necessary. With your awareness, you should be able to, sooner or later, figure out where the best balance is - and you can now be aware that when someone responds badly, it's because they can't handle any more - not because you are bad, wrong, a burden, or anything like that. I have confidence that with help and practice, you'll get better at handling this, just like I did.

Also, I don't think being on Facebook will really help. Facebook induces a lot of negative feelings, especially when other people seem a lot happier, well adjusted, etc.

Learn to live for yourself, not others.

Also mindfulness is a good discipline to learn as well.

Good luck

Having read your entire post, my heart is breaking for you. I have an unfortunately close relationship with suicide. Several years ago one of my uncles, who was deeply depressed on top of being bipolar and a drug addict, finally succeeded in ending his life. He'd had multiple attempts, but after changing his methods, he accomplished what he'd sought for as long as I'd known him. Depression and mental illnesses of varying degrees run in my family on my mom's side and seeing him lose that battle hit me pretty hard. Not because I was close to him, we were, in fact, quite distant due to something that transpired between us when I was a child, but because I also suffered from depression and I'd contemplated whether the world would be better off without me in it as well.

Your pain and struggle are valid. You are valid and you matter. If you need or want anyone to talk to, I'm here. I'm completely nonjudgmental. Everyone has their own story and each deserves to be heard.

To your question, when someone talks about suicide and has a plan, I figure out what is going on and try to get them to the next step to feeling better, which might be a trip to the E.R. Some people have little empathy and do not know about severe major depression. I do not know why the heck you were put in a ice bath, instead of taken to the hospital. It makes no sense. To answer your question, "Were you personally affected by suicide," Yes. My mother killed herself when I was five, which ended me in a circumstance where I did not have her protection and faced all kind of abuse from my stepmother and dad. I thought of trying to kill myself just to get out of the house and tell people about the abuse (telling the school counselor did not work). My grandpa committed suicide, he has prostate cancer. I was already on my own by then and understood he was in a large amount of pain. I am glad you have a therapist to help you. My heart goes out to you. I am sorry you have been through so much suffering.