While I confess to identifying as a shallow Hal... it's not that simple.

I have met women who are NOT the Hollywood (or even Bollywood) ideal, that are very attractive.

Because of that, I basically say that I want a woman who is, physically, somewhere in the healthy range. If you can't do three flights of stairs without passing out, or losing your wind completely, we likely aren't for each other (and, frankly, I get winded at about four flights). For me, it's less about being a size 0, and more about being healthy... actually, if you ARE a size 0, you aren't in my 'average' zone.

I remember being turned off by Twiggy when I was young, she was way too thin and, I am sure, anorhexic. Well, momma Cass didn't do it for me either. However, Marilyn Monroe did... and think about her figure. She was NOT under weight! Mary Ann versus Ginger? Mary Ann any day of the week and twice on Sunday. She wasn't heavy by any means but she wasn't slight either.

Worse? I have gotten to know women who didn't fit into my schema of 'average' and thought they were VERY attractive. Why? I GOT TO KNOW THEM... I hate that we are hung up on this... I hate that we are programmed by popular media... but we are. I am working to change my filters and will freely apologize to anyone that I've hurt by being a sheeple in the past.

Oh, why am I really into a women who can do three flights of stairs? I am ex infantry. I LOVE to walk, and walk long distances. I love to ride bicycle. Am I in perfect shape? Heck no. But, I can and do maintain as active a life style as I can and intend to do so until I trip and fall into a grave (well, body farm more likely). I want to be with someone who will be up for going out and walking a country mile, or eight, with me. If you can't today, that's ok, so long as you are willing to work on it, and me, with me.

For the record: I am interested in women who are smart and strong. I don't want a daughter, a servant, or cook, I want a partner (and, for the record, I like to cook and don't mind doing the laundry... and I do like mowing the lawn so, let me keep that part please). I want someone who is willing to at least try and talk about what I like to talk about and I am willing to try your subjects too. What do I like? Hard science is one of the hard angles, but I am also into a variety of other things: Science Fiction/Fantasy, Historical fiction, biography, Math, Science (books) and studies. I am into games (board, card, computer, etc). Travel, hiking, bicycling... so, be prepared to talk about medical issues, possibly quantum mechanics, math, economics, or just a good book that we are reading (yeah, I like reading together).

In short: looks get the door open. Talking and socializing is what keeps the garden growing and healthy.

Men want a woman just like Mom who will take care of them when they are old and decrepit.

Cliche's become cliche' for a reason. Like men are pigs for wexample.

LOL. And I love the other sites where they post the age range and the max number is still five years younger than they are!

im not trying to fancy me though ive never said physicly fit myself.

Men and women alike have been acculturated to think the most important thing a woman has to offer is her appearance. It comes from a long history of entitlement bolstered by the male gaze, which both men and women fall prey to. It's perpetuated by our extremely f-ed up popular media, diet culture, the weight loss and 'health' industry, and western culture in general. I'll attach a pic of one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite feminist bloggers, Erin McKean, from her blog A Dress A Day. It pretty much sums up my opinion.

OMG so much yes!

I'm going with "because a lot of men think women's bodies are all they have to offer". While we're supposed to appreciate their "finer" qualities. Barf.

On dating sites I don't look at guys profiles, here I have but not taken any notice of any wish list of potential dates. I tend to avoid fit women, well gym junkies, if a woman is fit I prefer it to be from her participating in things I would find interesting, bushwalking, surfing and such. The gym is too boring for me.

I've never heard that one. Although big guys want hot skinny women. Who doesn't want someone that fit?

I have never heard that mentioned by anyone on any males profile and I have profiles on 4 different dating sites. I have to admit that I do not read male's profiles but I have never read a woman mentioning it.

Unrealistic expectations. The constant pursuit of fantasy. Hubris. Complete lack of
self-awareness. Take your pick.