How 'bout you, @Crimson67?

One is not enough.

She is 28 and pushes my buttons often.

Not intentional on her part.

We have always been so close....and yet I’m starting to feel so distant due to her choices and character frailties.

They are always late and I am always right on time!

Leave dirty dishes everywhere, then complain when fire ants come in the house. Sigh.

Aggravate each other.

Apathy is exhausting. "I don't care", "meh", and "whatever" are a direct path to me fucking with my kids. I try and go all evil genie on them and construe their apathy in the most embarrassing or irritating way possible. They have become more cautious.

They open the dishwasher after I run it and don't put the dishes away. I'm washing the same load for the third time right now because I can't tell if someone threw something dirty into it. Idiots.

My kids just avoid me, so we have a super relationship When younger, my son got it in his head to throw a super-tantrum, at like, 14 or 15 - ahh, so awkward.. yeah, That pushed a button, I just had to retreat, I've still never talked to him about why he thought that whole psych-ward worthy episode was necessary, but I suspect it's because his mom used me as the bad-boogeyman so often, he had some dark-image of me that was totally out-of-phase with reality