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Were you a "late-bloomer"?

I was chatting with a friend, who was telling me about her 17-year-old niece, who doesn't seem to be interested in dating. She seemed truly perplexed by that. I told her some people aren't ready by that age, I said that I wasn't. She said that she was.

I guess it surprised me that she would react this way regarding her niece. She's always known that I was a late-bloomer. But I'm thinking now she's probably assumed that all late-bloomers are quiet and shy, because I was -- but her niece isn't, she's actually quite outgoing and popular. I mean, I don't see a surprise there, some people are just not ready to date at a time when others are, regardless of their popularity.

I didn't start dating until I was in college, and even then I'm not sure if I was ready!

bleurowz 8 Apr 22
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It depends on what you mean by "blooming". I started getting uncontrollable boners at 14, but I didn't get an opportunity to put them to use until I was 23. It was a frustrating 9 years.

Well, I for me I'd started developing deep crushes from the age of 13, but I was too afraid to date. So I'd say that the desire was there but I wasn't ready to follow through.

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I was a late bloomer myself. I still toe the line between extrovert/introvert. I depends on the situation.
It's not that I didn't notice girls/women, I assure that I did, but I just had too much other stuff going on.

Yeah, I noticed men and boys a lot, just never acted on it. I had a lot of other stuff going on, too.

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I was a late bloomer,had interest but very naive about sex ,sort of feel like i have lived my life backwards in that department,,very openminded now for fun and comfortable with my self,,certainly was not in the early years

I feel like I'm sort of going backwards, too. I was very self-conscious and inhibited when I was younger, now I feel more open-minded and comfortable with myself. Not that I do anything with wild abandon, but I'm more open to possibilities.

@bleurowz Well i am happy you have go t here,,once your comfortable with your self ,it opens your life up to so much more in everyway to enjoy

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I'm just throwing this out there because Millennials & Generation Xers are "sexually fluid" and very different re: dating, sex, gender, and identity. Maybe she's not strictly hetero, therefore keeping her private life ... private. (NO, I'm not suggesting, more saying it could be something other than blooming late.)

Hmm... I don't know. She does like boys. I got labeled all sorts of things because I wasn't interested in dating when I was a teen, so I don't make any assumptions. She'll figure things out when she's ready, as everyone should be encouraged to do.

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I eas an early bloomer. I was sexually active around 12 - 13 years old. I was like a jack rabbit at the bunny farm. ? (If ya know what I mean)

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i went on a blind date my sister set up for me. it was a disaster. i had lovers but we didn't meet on, or get to know each other on, dates; we went out together after becoming lovers. i met people through other means. i did go on two newspaper ad dates in the 1980s. one showed up drunk. with the other i hit it off and we were really enjoying ourselves when he put his hands around my throat. i don't LIKE that. it was a dealbreaker. (he went back to his ex, anyway.) and i met ONE guy on a computer date. he turned out to be married. so i am 67 now and have been with my guy for 19 years now. we didn't realy date. i am a late bloomer in terms of falling in love. in terms of dating... that's a bloom that passed me by.

g

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I was puberty-delayed. All my life, people mocked me for being too skinny.

At 15, I finally developed a little figure. Suddenly I was pretty and popular. In high school, I made friends with everyone because I knew how hurtful cliques can be.

Between ages 18 - 22, I grew 1-1/2 inches taller. A later bloomer, indeed.

At 21, I ate 23 pancakes for breakfast. Amazed the cook! Was still growing.

Photo: Age 12 with little sister, 7. Loved that padded swimsuit top. Thought it made me look like I had a figure (breasts). Dream on, Kathleen.

And you've turned out rather nice!

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Nope. Was doing drugs and had lost my virginity at 15, married at 17, divorced at 21. All of which was pretty stupid, but I did learn from it, and settled down later.

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She also might not know the full story about her niece... She could be LGBTQ or not interested in the type of dating you would tell relatives about.

MsAl Level 8 Apr 22, 2019

Hmm... I don't know. She does like boys. I got labeled all sorts of things because I wasn't interested in dating when I was a teen, so I don't make any assumptions. She'll figure things out when she's ready, as everyone should be encouraged to do.

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I was 14 years old when I had my first Girlfriend Lost my virginity at 17 and got married the first time at 20 We were married for 17 years Got divorced and I did it again for an additional 8 years. It has been a wild ride. Asking myself am I ready to begin again? My mind says NO stay single. My Heart tells me Wake up I need Love. Time will tell

The good thing about getting older is that I've felt less and less pressure to follow any sort of norm.

@bleurowz But then again what is the norm I think that depends on the person and the circumstances

@DavidGreen1 True. Everyone has their own norm. I'm thinking in terms of "norm" dictated by society.

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I think I’m more of a “never-bloomer”

Or maybe you're a "yet-to-bloom"

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Very mixed bag here. I was a super early bloomer as far as interest goes, moderately late side of normal as far as putting it into practice goes. Started liking women as early as 5, first girlfriend/kiss/long distance relationship at 14, first “normal/local” relationship at 16, lost virginity at 18. (Which is super late when you’ve been a ball of hormonal interest since 5). Still haven’t had a normal live-in relationship as an adult, which feels super late to be starting to me. I hope it happens soon before my will exceeds my energy.

You're still relatively young. Even so, it's never too late.

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I was in private school when I was 13, hated to study so off to a school that required it. We were dating at 14 and lost my virginity to an ninth grader (older woman). My view on women was skewed for a while till I ran into the right woman she got me straight!

BillF Level 7 Apr 22, 2019
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I didn't go on my first date until my last year of college (my fifth year); not because I wasn't ready until then but because I couldn't find anyone who wanted to go on a date with me.

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Just more of "society's" opinions on how other people "should" be.
People make an awful lot of assumptions based on their own opinions.

Yes. I got a lot of that when I was young. Mostly from my peers, who understandably were young and clueless -- the sad thing is when adults still do that.

@bleurowz Yeah, I tend to have choice words for those people when they come at me with their bullshit.

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My radar is sounding alarms. My former religion pushed marriage and that's pretty much why I got married at all. I hope your friend's niece never feels like she HAS to date in order to be normal and healthy.

I hope not. She comes from a family though where the grandmother (my friend's mother) emphasizes marriage and family in order to be happy. The grandmother was often critical of my friend before she got married -- who did get married for love and not because she had to, although sometimes I've heard her make remarks something along the lines of it was a relief that she and her husband found each other.

@bleurowz Oh, dear. That sounds concerning. 😟

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About average, I think we all mature at different rates at different things and we can have growth spurts. I learned a whole lot about sex in a short time after I got together with my first serious girlfriend. Like wise, I had to learn elementary finance pretty quickly once I was on my own. I have definitely seen many people rise to the occasion, I was a late parent but that's something else some people have to take up young.

Agreed. And sometimes we think we're ready when we're not. That's been my issue with a lot of things, relationships included. Even though I was a late-bloomer in that respect, there was a lot I wasn't prepared for. On a positive note, it made me see that there were other things I needed to take care of first.

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I wanted to start dating around 15. Unfortunately I was all enthusiasm and no clue. I was like the kid that stands on the sidelines of a game running back and forth trying to figure out the rules so I can jump in and play. If there had been a manual, or some kind of protocols it would have been super helpful.

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I started dating at 16-17 years old... Pretty normal I think...

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