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Were you a "late-bloomer"?

I was chatting with a friend, who was telling me about her 17-year-old niece, who doesn't seem to be interested in dating. She seemed truly perplexed by that. I told her some people aren't ready by that age, I said that I wasn't. She said that she was.

I guess it surprised me that she would react this way regarding her niece. She's always known that I was a late-bloomer. But I'm thinking now she's probably assumed that all late-bloomers are quiet and shy, because I was -- but her niece isn't, she's actually quite outgoing and popular. I mean, I don't see a surprise there, some people are just not ready to date at a time when others are, regardless of their popularity.

I didn't start dating until I was in college, and even then I'm not sure if I was ready!

bleurowz 8 Apr 22

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It depends on what you mean by "blooming". I started getting uncontrollable boners at 14, but I didn't get an opportunity to put them to use until I was 23. It was a frustrating 9 years.

Well, I for me I'd started developing deep crushes from the age of 13, but I was too afraid to date. So I'd say that the desire was there but I wasn't ready to follow through.


I was a late bloomer myself. I still toe the line between extrovert/introvert. I depends on the situation.
It's not that I didn't notice girls/women, I assure that I did, but I just had too much other stuff going on.

Yeah, I noticed men and boys a lot, just never acted on it. I had a lot of other stuff going on, too.


I was a late bloomer,had interest but very naive about sex ,sort of feel like i have lived my life backwards in that department,,very openminded now for fun and comfortable with my self,,certainly was not in the early years

I feel like I'm sort of going backwards, too. I was very self-conscious and inhibited when I was younger, now I feel more open-minded and comfortable with myself. Not that I do anything with wild abandon, but I'm more open to possibilities.

@bleurowz Well i am happy you have go t here,,once your comfortable with your self ,it opens your life up to so much more in everyway to enjoy


I'm just throwing this out there because Millennials & Generation Xers are "sexually fluid" and very different re: dating, sex, gender, and identity. Maybe she's not strictly hetero, therefore keeping her private life ... private. (NO, I'm not suggesting, more saying it could be something other than blooming late.)

Hmm... I don't know. She does like boys. I got labeled all sorts of things because I wasn't interested in dating when I was a teen, so I don't make any assumptions. She'll figure things out when she's ready, as everyone should be encouraged to do.


I eas an early bloomer. I was sexually active around 12 - 13 years old. I was like a jack rabbit at the bunny farm. ? (If ya know what I mean)


i went on a blind date my sister set up for me. it was a disaster. i had lovers but we didn't meet on, or get to know each other on, dates; we went out together after becoming lovers. i met people through other means. i did go on two newspaper ad dates in the 1980s. one showed up drunk. with the other i hit it off and we were really enjoying ourselves when he put his hands around my throat. i don't LIKE that. it was a dealbreaker. (he went back to his ex, anyway.) and i met ONE guy on a computer date. he turned out to be married. so i am 67 now and have been with my guy for 19 years now. we didn't realy date. i am a late bloomer in terms of falling in love. in terms of dating... that's a bloom that passed me by.



I was puberty-delayed. All my life, people mocked me for being too skinny.

At 15, I finally developed a little figure. Suddenly I was pretty and popular. In high school, I made friends with everyone because I knew how hurtful cliques can be.

Between ages 18 - 22, I grew 1-1/2 inches taller. A later bloomer, indeed.

At 21, I ate 23 pancakes for breakfast. Amazed the cook! Was still growing.

Photo: Age 12 with little sister, 7. Loved that padded swimsuit top. Thought it made me look like I had a figure (breasts). Dream on, Kathleen.

And you've turned out rather nice!


Nope. Was doing drugs and had lost my virginity at 15, married at 17, divorced at 21. All of which was pretty stupid, but I did learn from it, and settled down later.


She also might not know the full story about her niece... She could be LGBTQ or not interested in the type of dating you would tell relatives about.

MsAl Level 8 Apr 22, 2019

Hmm... I don't know. She does like boys. I got labeled all sorts of things because I wasn't interested in dating when I was a teen, so I don't make any assumptions. She'll figure things out when she's ready, as everyone should be encouraged to do.


I was 14 years old when I had my first Girlfriend Lost my virginity at 17 and got married the first time at 20 We were married for 17 years Got divorced and I did it again for an additional 8 years. It has been a wild ride. Asking myself am I ready to begin again? My mind says NO stay single. My Heart tells me Wake up I need Love. Time will tell

The good thing about getting older is that I've felt less and less pressure to follow any sort of norm.

@bleurowz But then again what is the norm I think that depends on the person and the circumstances

@DavidGreen1 True. Everyone has their own norm. I'm thinking in terms of "norm" dictated by society.


I think I’m more of a “never-bloomer”

Or maybe you're a "yet-to-bloom"


Very mixed bag here. I was a super early bloomer as far as interest goes, moderately late side of normal as far as putting it into practice goes. Started liking women as early as 5, first girlfriend/kiss/long distance relationship at 14, first “normal/local” relationship at 16, lost virginity at 18. (Which is super late when you’ve been a ball of hormonal interest since 5). Still haven’t had a normal live-in relationship as an adult, which feels super late to be starting to me. I hope it happens soon before my will exceeds my energy.

You're still relatively young. Even so, it's never too late.


I was in private school when I was 13, hated to study so off to a school that required it. We were dating at 14 and lost my virginity to an ninth grader (older woman). My view on women was skewed for a while till I ran into the right woman she got me straight!

BillF Level 7 Apr 22, 2019

I didn't go on my first date until my last year of college (my fifth year); not because I wasn't ready until then but because I couldn't find anyone who wanted to go on a date with me.


Just more of "society's" opinions on how other people "should" be.
People make an awful lot of assumptions based on their own opinions.

Yes. I got a lot of that when I was young. Mostly from my peers, who understandably were young and clueless -- the sad thing is when adults still do that.

@bleurowz Yeah, I tend to have choice words for those people when they come at me with their bullshit.


My radar is sounding alarms. My former religion pushed marriage and that's pretty much why I got married at all. I hope your friend's niece never feels like she HAS to date in order to be normal and healthy.

I hope not. She comes from a family though where the grandmother (my friend's mother) emphasizes marriage and family in order to be happy. The grandmother was often critical of my friend before she got married -- who did get married for love and not because she had to, although sometimes I've heard her make remarks something along the lines of it was a relief that she and her husband found each other.

@bleurowz Oh, dear. That sounds concerning. 😟


About average, I think we all mature at different rates at different things and we can have growth spurts. I learned a whole lot about sex in a short time after I got together with my first serious girlfriend. Like wise, I had to learn elementary finance pretty quickly once I was on my own. I have definitely seen many people rise to the occasion, I was a late parent but that's something else some people have to take up young.

Agreed. And sometimes we think we're ready when we're not. That's been my issue with a lot of things, relationships included. Even though I was a late-bloomer in that respect, there was a lot I wasn't prepared for. On a positive note, it made me see that there were other things I needed to take care of first.


I wanted to start dating around 15. Unfortunately I was all enthusiasm and no clue. I was like the kid that stands on the sidelines of a game running back and forth trying to figure out the rules so I can jump in and play. If there had been a manual, or some kind of protocols it would have been super helpful.


I started dating at 16-17 years old... Pretty normal I think...

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