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In the future it may be feasible to selectively delete an unwanted memory. What memory would you choose to delete & why?

Would this be a good thing overall?

atheist 8 Mar 7
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24 comments

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5

None of them. They all serve a purpose.
Eliminating any memory strikes me as not being strong enough to handle
the realities of your own life. I see that as a real weakness to be overcome.

4

Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it....& i'd really rather not.

Exactly... No Fear.

4

I would not. All my memories are there for me to learn from.

Thanks. My 60th birthday is on the 23rd. 😀

4

I wouldnt

I don't know but good or bad my life and memories define me

4

The opposite would be better for me.

I'd like to remember more stuff, not less. And remember the stuff I do remember more accurately.

Easy. I read stuff and then forget the detail, so that when I want to recall what I have read or the appointments in my diary, I have to look them up again to remind my stuff of things I should remember.

Simples!

4

Honestly, I don't think I would want to delete any of my memories. Without even one of them, I wouldn't be the person I am today. I personally don't think it would be a good thing to remove memories.

@atheist Happier? Possibly but I wouldn't trade my memories for anything.

@atheist Yeah I know what you're saying, but I still wouldn't trade any of my memories for anything. I need each and every one of them.

3

So many immediately came to mind but then I realized that losing those memories would leave gaps that may make things worse.

@atheist I don't know how that work in the case of repeated traumas. I had a less than stellar childhood during a 9 year period with some really bad moments and some really good ones with most of it just being kinda sucky.

Those experiences were during formative years so they made me who I am. Without those memories, much of who I am today would make no sense.

@atheist

Imagination would try to fill the gaps with "what if's" but you would always be aware of the gaps.

@atheist I'm afraid not. Having a period of time that is blank is constantly in the present. It invades the sub-conscience through dreams (negative and positive). I would rather have the memory and deal with it than not knowing which allows the imagination to go wild.

@atheist That would depend on the amount of time. If you're talking minutes maybe an hour or two, then yes your idea hypothetically could work. If you're talking several hours/days, then no, it would not work.

3

Unfortunately they make you who you are so deleting one memory could potentially change your whole personality (See Agents of Shield series 4 for an example )

@atheist but everyone around you would remember the person you were before the memory wipe and that would cause problems . In the film eternal sunshine they ask all family and friends not to mention or keep anything from the persons ex partner as it causes more problems

@atheist lol wishful thinking there

2

From my own perspective, I wonder if losing any of my memories would affect the way I've raised my children or grandchildren, and if I lost a painful memory,would I have treated them as well? I think, like so many others, that my experiences, and memories of them, have made me who I am, and right now I'm okay with that.

2

Man, I have a lot of very bad memories making this an easy decision. You see, I am the sum of my parts. While I have a lot of horrific memories of worse moments in my life, my wife thought I turned out ok (I won't speak for myself as I think this form of self reflection is too easily flawed). And being the sum of my parts (memories in this case) I would not remove any of the memories that made me who I am. Otherwise, I'd be someone else, and might not be the pretty good guy my wife thought I was. 🙂

I tend to fight, and fight hard, against where I am pushed. I was pushed, and pushed hard, in negative directions. To be perfectly honest, and speaking of when I was young (10-ish) I tested some negative waters on my own. In the one case, I fought back, in the other i went "ew" and never returned. Due to all of that influence... well, I made some promises I won't ever break (given my age and that I have not, yet, broken them) and they make me the 'reasonably good' person I am, with some guilt/hurt over my past. I'll keep that guilt/hurt so that I remind myself of why I want to be a good person. I don't see myself as 'improving' without that influence... at least, not without radically changing the rest of the environment. If I could choose that, then I'd be my father in laws son! Now there is a dad I can relate to! Granted, I want to keep my mom (I'm adopted, by the way).

2

There may be things I would like to go back and change in my life but I can’t think of any memories that I would want to delete.

gearl Level 8 Mar 7, 2018
2

I am Not Afraid of any memory of mine.

@atheist Why would I want to delete something I am not afraid of? Life is Experience... Good and Bad. Remember it all. Because all is worth the memory somehow.

2

I'd delete the Drumpf years..cause Drumpf.

@atheist daaaammit!

2

I would like to delete some actual experiences, especially in my childhood. As far as deleting only the memory, I would not want to do that. If I had to live through it, I want to remember it.

@atheist If the worst memory - six years of sexual abuse - were erased, I would have a six-year gap in my life with no understanding what was in that space.

I would have no understanding of why ____. Things about me that are related to those events.

Now, if the actual EVENTS could be removed, along with the memory, that I would jump on! I would love to be a human who had never experienced that.

But, to have to experience the event, but not remember it would be very confusing -- the gaps and the lack of understanding about why I am x about x.

@atheist I agree more with what @icolan is saying. If only the memory of the event is gone, but the event still existed, it would still affect my subconscious, and therefore, my personality, behaviors, etc., even though I don't have the memory. Anyway, all I know is if you could remove the events and leave my memories in tact, I'd be good. 🙂

@atheist

I'm afraid not. When there is a gap it becomes a focus that is always present. Imagination becomes an enemy of "what if's". It is not a pleasant experience.

2

I cannot recall a memory I'd rather delete. I guess that's the advantage of forgetfulness, I don't have to choose.

1

My last relationship, it was a huge mistake on my part

1

I would choose to forget that I have suffered abuse dealt to me by the hands of someone I loved. That said, I would want to retain the lessons, so that I don't repeat the mistakes that landed me there, merely forgetting the events, themselves.

1

To me, memories are like ripples in a pond. If you toss a handful of pebbles into a pond the ripples will intersect with each other. Our memories are our experiences and reactions to them. They shape our morals, values, and personality. The lessons we have learned from them whether good or bad determine how we interact with the world around us. So my answer would be no. 🙂

Betty Level 8 Mar 8, 2018

@atheist Your memories intersect with others in your life. How would you untangle those?

1

I can think of one -- a particularly humiliating failed attempt at jumping a bar in high school P.E., and the other kids laughing their asses off. I don't know if losing that one would really hurt me either!

1

I would delete my memory of seeing the movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind".

Just kidding. I liked that movie.

1

None, I've witnessed many many things that have greatly disturbed me as well as made me unbelieveably regretful and depressed, but without those things, I would not be who I am now. The tapestry is fragile.

Well, not just memories. Many things go into the equation that leads to what we are and to remove any of it would irrevocably change who we are today. It's possible that alterations could make a person better or worse, definitely. But just what exactly does that mean? Morality for instance is built on the past mistakes of immoral choices as well as the teachings from those who has made those mistakes and learned from them. If a detail such as an immoral action was removed from their past, by either memory wipe or time machine, they would not have that experience to make them the better person they are today. It also works in the negative way as well. A person who went through a very traumatic raising could likely develop psychopathic mental states and as a result, harm themselves and/or others. So in that case changing that aspect would be good for the present mental state, but also bad when you consider everything that is learned from the experience of psychopathy. Parents are often able to teach their children best not because they read something in a book, but because they have the direct experience of whatever it is they need to teach. If you strip that experience from the parent, no matter how much they might regret the experience, you strip their ability to teach others how to avoid that regret. Everything that we are in this moment here and now, everything good and bad, is a product of our experience. Every atom that makes up our existence is needed to make us what we are.

1

Disco

Disco was awesome!

0

Dysfunctional family events during childhood.

Yes they are learning experiences-sometimes wonder if I would have been better person.

0

The memory of my father abandoning me after showing up for two weekends. Or the memory of seeing my grandpa die in my arms suddenly and traumatically

The husband of my grandmother died in my arms at an emergency room... so the old cat of my GF. I had seen last exhale twice.

@atheist those two memories paved the way for a lifetime of severe social disfunction and panic attacks. If I got rid of them, maybe I'd be better

@GipsyOfNewSpain i work in an e.r. so I see death often, but my grandfather was basically my dad growing up, and I didn't expect to hold him as he died

@LadyAlyxandrea I was raised by my grandmother so he was the everyday father figure. I remember as yesterday I came out of the movie "Shaft", I had a basketball game and I was late, my coach told me do not dress up... you need to go to your house right now... He was dying from cancer but at 18 it was still not a major shock... but I understand your feeling... you should had not been there, somehow.

Your father was a jerk, he doesn't know what he missed out on. Mine wasn't any better.

What a beautiful gift you gave to your grandpa. I have heard so many seniors express the fear of dying alone. Your grandpa didn't have that fear, he had you. Fear makes the pain unbearable, you gave him strength. Your courage and love for your grandpa are enviable.

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