Agnostic.com

16 4

Do you find yourself automatically drawn to other nonbelievers?

Every friend I've made and partner I've had in and since college has turned out to be a nonbeliever, despite me never having asked about it as the relationship was forming. I live in the Bible belt, so that's statistically significant. Have you had a similar experience? Any idea what personality trait(s) would make it so easy to identify fellow irreligious individuals?

SavvySean 3 Mar 7
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

16 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

0

I seem to attract the dyed in the wool Bible Thumpers. ughhhh

0

Yup, just as I'm often drawn to others who are adopted and/or have had childhood trauma.

0

The number of nonbelievers in these parts is dismally small so there is nobody to be drawn towards.

I have a great deal of pity towards theists that are wasting so many of their finite resources to support a belief structure that encumbers their ability to recognize the full beauty of the natural world; as their view is clouded by superstition.

At one time I attempted to be a (fixer) for one I greatly cared for. Many years and opportunities were lost as a consequence of this ill-fated decision. I no longer desire to live with a person that requires fixing and I never wished a relationship with one I pity. Relationships should be founded on mutual trust and respect.

0

I am drawn to non-believers until they prove themselves stupid beyond belief. That's when I start shying away. Of course, you have to talk to someone a while before it comes out fully about their god belief. If you do not believe in the biblical god but you do believe in Ajax from Knorr in anothewr galaxy somewhere, then you are not for me. We will have a distant friendship.

0

I've found that if they are believers they are always non-practicing.

0

Actually, I never really paid attention. Most of the people I know believe in something, but then so does ninety percent of the country. So the odds are high that I'm going to meet mostly believers.

3

I am drawn to people with respect for the evidence and truth. This does overlap strong with non believers, though.

0

I do think there is something to that. I have had a similar "Red" state experience.
I think it has to do with certain character traits, that do exist in some religious persons but a greater extent in the godless.

0
1

I have not yet met a non-believer.

marga Level 7 Mar 8, 2018
1

I tend to be attracted to humanists and luckily one is now attracted to me!

0

I am aslo repelled by believers. They don't need to say anything - you can tell by that special smile and glazed eyes they have..........

Haha you think there's really a tell?

@SavvySean - I've seen it many times. Look at this bunch of buybull bashers "Is the bible still relevant today? says the sign - the guy knows I'm taking his photo and why but he's still got that smile! - I just love the lesbian couple marching happily past.

@GoldenDoll "Is the bible still relevant today?" Relevant to what?

I so agree with you. This smile I believe is universal among all denominations, to me this expression washes over their face that appears to be unaware of reality and the seriousness of life choices. - - much like a young child in a crib who has yet to assimilate the world view that extends beyond his/her crib and a mother that cares for him/her.

@NoMagicCookie That's it. My daughter in law and her mother are super-religious. Everyone says about them "Ah, they're so cute, always smiling!". Actually they're zombies.

@DenoPenno - Exactly. Certainly not relevant to the lesbian couple walking past.

0

Perhaps, but I know that I am automatically repelled by believers.

2

I tend to associate with people that are more rational so naturally they tend not to be religious.

1

Nope. Every relationship I've ever had was with a theist. I do not meet other gays that are non theists.

2

One of my working theories is that I'm not drawn to nonbelievers so much as repelled by believers. Perhaps religious people mention their convictoins often enough that I subconsciously get turned off by the idea of developing a further connection when first interacting with them.

That certainly holds true for a number of my acquaintances / coworkers who talk about their church group or the like all the time. But I don't think it fully explains the situation. I know tons of people who I've never heard mention anything spiritual so I'd have no idea what their religious beliefs are. But statistically speaking they're probably Christian. And yet I've managed to seek out and befriend/date only the exceptions to that norm. The mystery continues.

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:33954
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.