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I was offered a BIBLE !

I've been attending some grief meetings at a church ( none elsewhere ) The Woman in charge ( nicely ) offered me a Bible to read to help with my grief. They know I am not religious. How would YOU respond ? ( I have never opened a bible in my life )

flowerchild62 6 Mar 8
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36 comments

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14

Well, you were in a church. If you were in a bar. Someone may have offered you a drink. Just politely refuse it and move on.

That's what I did 🙂

I had a similar answer, as well. "No thanks. I have already read it."

8

Take it into your hands and then yell, "It burns! It burns! What have you done to me!". Then drop it on the floor and frantically run out the door. You know? Just for levity. Or maybe not.

that's funny

8

I have a collection of religious books, and a bunch of different bibles. If it is one I already have, I would just say,"I have this version, thanks anyways." I don't think people often give people things to be mean.

7

You politely say no thank you.

yes, i did

6

The last time I was in a church, it was a wedding. While waiting for everything to start, my friend picks up a bible and starts looking through it. I leaned over and said, "he dies on page 327".

LOL

6

Take it. It can always be used in an emergency to roast marshmallows or heat coffee.

oh shoot - i could use it for the campfire - yes

5

Culd always use it as toilet paper in a pinch.

Bwahaha! And if you're lucky...that gold leaf around the edges could give your bum a little sparkle!

5

Make a good doorstop

5

Oh, I've read that book. Not a patch on Agatha Christie.

5

Read it. I have highlighted all of the sex scenes.

There is quite a lot of UGLY sex stuff in there, actually, but i am sticking to cheap modern porn for my light reading!

4

Or...
You could look the person dead in the eye and say...
"No thank you, I've eaten already. Couldn't eat another bite."
And try to keep a straight face while the look of dumbfoundment washes over them.

3

A simple thank you. Fortunately for you - it's not contagious ...

I do actually own one - it has a cool wooden cover, that caused me to obtain it at a thrift shop. Looking at it now and then arms me for better informed debate.

3

no thank you

3

Say thanks but no thanks..

2

Take it, read it, then return asking the really uncomfortable questions that the book legitimately would prompt.

1

Thank them and use it as a resource to show just how wrong a belief in God is.

Next time You Have a barbeque....lots of paper!

1

If you had read it before, I would say politely refuse. BUT if you don't already have a copy, it is known as "The Atheist's Handbook" for a reason. Every atheist ought to have one, just for laughs if nothing else. BTW, most christians have not opened one in their life either. They just take their preacher's word for what it says.

WOW - Some people are sooo naive ! 😉

1

those flimsy sheets make good rolling papers in a pinch!!

Someone else said that too ! LOL

1

Accept it and, if you haven't already, read it. If it is not King James, or the standard Jewish Publication Society if it is a Torah or Tanakh, if you were at a synagogue, use those for comparison. There are almost as many ideosynchratic versions out there as there are sects.

0

I would turn it down.

WOW ! His hair ! 🙂

0

I would take it and then put it in recycling. One more gone.

0

“No thanks I already hv books at home”. Hahahahaha

0

Can't blame them. You are in a church. Agree with @Dwight

0

Thanks but no thanks. In truth I have a small book shelf with every kind of bible on it that you can think of. It has some study books and courses also. I know what is inside it but I just don't buybull anymore.

0

" I prefer national geographic" wouldn't go down too well unless she was thinking of boring you to sleep. [ pretty hard reading to say the least]

Yes, I told her I don't understand the language. Doesn't make any sense to me 🙂

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