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How slow is too slow? How fast is too fast?

I met someone a few months ago and we are in the process of getting to know each other and seeing where this goes. We definitely like each other and there's some mutual attraction. Time, some distance, and other obligations have made getting together challenging, but the few times we've gotten together have been amazing, we never stop talking and don't want the time to end. We both also want to take things slow to see what develops. The thing is, how slow is too slow and how fast is too fast? I'm happy where we are, but want to keep moving forward, too, and also be comfortable with the pace.

bleurowz 8 Mar 8
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11 comments

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Who knows? You two have to decide, but that can be part of the growth.

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If you're engaged already, it's too fast. If you haven't had sex yet, it's too slow. IMHO, of course. Everyone is different, and there's not a one size fits all answer here.

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The speed is all relative. As long as the communication is there and the one taking it slow communicates that to the other person, so as that person does not take the slowness as becoming less interested in the relationship. Didn't you have an issue with an hour and a half distance between the two of you? I think the consensus of the group was the distance wasn't that great to move past it.

Yeah, that was me. The distance I thought was the issue, but it's more the pace. It's also been a very long time since I've felt any real potential about anyone, so I feel like something of a novice when it comes to dating.

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I used to work with a guy nicknamed TwoSpeedSteve...slow and stop. Push it if you want to move forward...time is short.

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Only you can make that determination-you know your comfort level.

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Too fast or slow is any point where the relationship isn't ready for it. For example if one or the other isn't comfortable with a topic yet (assuming its a topic they will become comfortable with) and the other pushes, thats too fast. On the flip side if you try to slow things down and not follow your heart, desires, and the relationship, you drive an often permanent wedge between the two of you without even realizing it. The speed of the relationship should match the comfort level and trust of a relationship. Too fast or slow should never be based on time. Where you reach with one person in a month can sometimes be reached in a week with another and both moving at a good healthy pace.

Good point-you connect with a partner differently as far as time is confirmed.

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I love that time in a relationship. When you are just getting to know each other. It's thrilling and intoxicating. I've heard it said that human beings are the only mammals that don't heed their instincts. Trust your instinct and you'll be fine. Everyone is always in such a hurry.

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It sounds like you are comfortable with the pace. there isnt a speed but as you say you got to keep moving forward or your in danger of becoming just friends.

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It sounds like you are comfortable with the pace. there isnt a speed but as you say you got to keep moving forward or your in danger of becoming just friends.

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Baseball isn't too slow. Everything else is too fast.

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It is too fastif either feels pressured, and if you become sexually involved before you really understand each other. It is too slow if one or both have a genuine interest, but the distance causes the relationship to drift apart.

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