What do you think keeps relationships going strong long-term?
accepting the suffering that is the toll for giving and receiving love.
Whoah! I just crossed you off my christmas list.
sorry, I didn't mean to be offensive.
@GoldenDoll is sharing each other's pain not part of love, not part of a relationship.
love, trust, sex, commitment, respect.
You live in Rochester NH?
No idea. I kept my last one going for 12 years by being a doormat and workhorse. Not doing that again.
Complete honesty and mutual respect for each other.
forget the honesty bit , be real
@markdevenish From what i have observed and read, when there is an infidelity, if a person is honest the relgionship has a much better chance of survival, than if they lie and are caught. Most describe havign been lied to as the greater betrayal. In cases where infidelity isn't involved, it is almost always dishonesty which results in a break up.
Time apart.
@silvereyes There's something to the phrase "absence makes the heart grow fonder."
I am waiting to see your thoughts @silvereyes
@silvereyes LOL... Still your husbands thought... Not urs... Or are you saying both are one?
You asked two questions. What makes a relationship last and what makes them strong long-term? Long lasting relationships happen for many reasons, children, fear of being alone, financial reasons, fear of starting over, and some I'm sure I can't think of. I believe strong long-term relationships are based on being best friends.
Hmmmmm, for me, unpredictability. I hate structure, loath it in fact. A poem explains my lifestyle, it's called dust if you must.
Dust if you must but wouldn't it be better
To paint a picture or write a letter.
Bake a cake or plant a seed;
Ponder the difference between want and need?
Dust if you must but theres not much time,
With rivers to swim and mountains to climb;
Music to hear, books to read;
Friends to cherish and life to lead.
Dust if you must but the world's out there
With the sun in your eyes and the wind in your hair;
A flutter of snow, a shower of rain,
This day will not come around again.
Dust if you must, but bear in mind,
Old age will come and it's not kind.
And when you go (and go you must)
You, yourself, will make more dust.
Life's to short to script your day, eat your tea in the same place at the same time, nothing grinds me down more.
Brill....
The high cost of divorce
Ha ha ha - love it!
I'm guessing that you already have that solid foundation that Victoria is talking about. For me, my experience was, you have to keep things spicy in the bedroom. Keep things excited,
have sex every day. Not just boring sex. Ever heard of the 30 month challenge ?
We were raising 5 kids at one time. Both of us had careers. My husband never complained.
There are ways in keeping things together. Kids go to sleep at night. You have to keep things creative.
I can't say anything else XXX. LoL
I'm confused. Is this an individual in a ltr asking a bunch of mostly singles? just checking.
Within the context of a romantic relationship, friendship.
I think this differs with every relationship. Some factors for me would include (in no particular order):
A certain level of compatability in several areas
Physical
Some similar interests
Similar philosophy
Non-believer (I think being with a X-tian could work now that my kids are fully formed, but I'd still favor a non-believer)
Compromise (there has to be some)
Honesty
Communication
Human realtionships are complicated things, IMHO. This just scratches the surface. LOL!
First, emotional stability for both is critical. Commonalities (mental, emotional and physical) are also very important but, in the end, it takes work on both sides. If one is trying and the other not it will not work.
I have been through failed intimate and friendly relationships. I have also been ones that have lasted. I hope I have learned something from both.
Determination. Working through problems with respect. Choosing them over and over again.