How many here were raised in a Christian home, at what point did you start thinking for yourself, and why?
I started thinking for myself at a pretty early age. My mom and stepdad were Seventh Day Adventist, and because I was interested in the idea of someone who could get visions from God, I read most of Ellen G. White’s books... oh, and the bible. I read that too.
At that point I learned (the hard way) that people don’t like you knowing too much, and they especially don’t like it if you can challenge them... of course everybody hates know-it-all kids, and I was kinda that. But every time I questioned, if found myself a little more alienated. One time when I was in junior high, our church had a time after the service that anyone could pray... one guy prayed for me... out loud... that I’d “stop resisting God.”
I grew up in a Baptist home. In my mid-teens, I started thinking that maybe I wasn't being taught the real deal, but unfortunately, I traded one myth for another (Lutheranism, in this instance). After some time, I converted to Catholicism and became a part of the traditionalist movement, though my acceptance of queer equality (I mean, when you're a part of that community yourself, it kind of influences how you think) put me at odds with most trads. I figured it out at 23, finally relying on reason and evidence rather than clinging to my indoctrinated worldview. It should be noted that my dad, a pastor, HATED that.
This is a tough one for me. I was the youngest by five years. My perants were a bit jaded so I kinda "knew" about Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, etc all along. God kinda just got lumped in with them for the most part in my mind. Between the ages of 13-16 or so I became SUPER devote, to the point of failing a decent chunk of a high school science class over denying evolution, but even then I think I was just going through the motions. I didn't officially start calling myself an atheist until I read (well, listened to the audio version of) Nye's book on evolution, followed by Dawkin's The Blind Watchmaker.
I began thinking for myself when I was forcibly dragged to abusive churches, I was about 10 or 12. I cried, begged and pleaded to stay at home and got told "As long as you live in my house eating my food, you obey my orders." I was humiliated, hurt and hated the adults who treated me like this. As an adult I rarely entered a chuch building and I quit a couple of jobs to get away from aggressive religious people.
This might sound weird but I actually had to give myself permission to think. We were always taught (or rather hammered into us) how dangerous independent thinking is. In my early 30's, my husband's uncle asked a question about how the word fornication was understood by the Jew's in the Hebrew scriptures. This conflicted with the overly constrictive explanation that my former religion taught. I remember the initial panic I had of, "why is he asking questions like this?". I then thought well, maybe he has a point. This was the moment that led me to question and research pretty much everything else that was being taught.
At the end of one confirmation class (Lutheran indoctrination and study for those becoming fully fledged in the church--usually at age 12) one kid asked Pastor Rosen 3 good questions. (I think the kid was put up to it by an adult as these questions exceed the skepticism and sophistication of a 12-year-old.): 1. "How old is the earth?" The Pastor had a stock answer which surprised me: " You can be a good Christian and believe what the scientists say, which is that it is about 4.5 billion years old. Or you can be a good Christian and believe what the biblical scholars say, which is about 6,000 years old. I was amazed that we had options as to what to believe. I was amazed that the Pastor was ceding territory to science and the secular perspective. 2. "How old do you think it is?" The Pastor said he believed the Earth was about 6,000 years old. Klaxons immediately went off in my head! Did he really say that? Yes, he did! 3. "Why do you think that?" This last question was uttered with a distinct note of incredulity. The Pastor said he thought that it was, to his mind, more faithful to believe the 6,000-year figure. Now I was asking my own question (secretly,to myself): What is this thing called faith, and is it a good thing when it demands that you believe things that you must know are not true?
I was raised Catholic. I remember cutting Sunday school and going to the library instead. The library had better fiction. I don't remember my age but it was during elementary school.
I began questioning my parents' veracity before I could talk, and as I grew older, whenever I challenged Bible teaching contradictions my dad would start lecturing me and my mom would seem concerned, so I desisted. After my church turned on my children and me when my ex left us, I stopped attending. I didn't dump all Christian beliefs until the 2016 election, when I no longer wanted anything to do with Christianity.
I was raised in an extreme Irish Catholic house. If I remember correctly, I was in 8th grade when I began questioning things.. It all began when I found an old beat up copy of the Necronomican at a local thrift store. I wanted to know what it was all about and began research at the library. It was all disbelief and questioning of religious organizations from there. My parents labeled me the devil child and according to them have been the evil incarnate since. 😂
The shameful reality is that I didn't want to think for myself particularly and if my religious faith had actually worked I would still not be thinking for myself. After all it's easier to borrow someone else's moral code and belief system, particularly when it's totally supported by the majority of society. I distinctly remember being about 16 years old and thinking to myself, boy do I have a leg up on everyone else, I know the capital-T truth and now all I have to do is follow the rules and my life will be wonderful. Ha. You can see how that worked out. I wish I could issue paeons to my brilliance for deconverting, but the simple fact is I was a pleaser and a lazy ass. I was dragged kicking and screaming away from the faux comforts of my faith by pesky ol' reality. And it took me years to pry that crap out of my head. Truth be told, the hardest part of leaving the faith was admitting my own role in the whole thing. Yeah, it wasn't unreasonable to assume my parents / mentors / teachers knew WTF they were talking about, but it was me, and me alone, who ignored the mounting evidence that they were full of shit. Indeed -- I grew up in the era where the counterculture slogan was QUESTION AUTHORITY and the very notion horrified me. If you can't trust authority, what CAN you trust? Duh. Your own judgment. So ... to answer your question ... I started thinking for myself in terms of religion and owning my own responsibilities somewhere around the tender age of 35 or so.
I was raised Baptist and ended up being a Sunday school teacher at a Pentecostal church. I had an epiphany at 33. I had to make a major life decision and whatever road I took, according to the church, would result in me burning in hell. My blinders fell off. I turned my back on the church and haven't regretted it yet. I consider myself just as divine as my creator and if they gave me the gift of free will, then why the heck would they punish me for using that gift?