Sometimes there are points in my life where a switch just clicks and I feel nothing. Just hollow..
I feel nothing, I'm numb and it can go for days, weeks, or months. The worst was during college for almost six months. I felt nothing, I was just working, sleeping, going to classes and doing my assignments.
Any interaction I had was seldom to none. If I did I'd act Like I should, I'd respond to someone or I would have to pay special attention to the social dynamics of a room and "emote" in a behavior others would expect of me. But all the while I didn't feel anything.
And in other times my empathy is turned to 11. I take on the chaos of emotions of others around me.. One time I got so overwhelmed while riding mass transit I had to get off and just sit on the sidewalk for an hour watching cars pass by.
To find myself or feel numb again.
It can be like I'm trapped under a waterfall of despair and chaos pounding and drowning out any reason..why can't it be euphoria or a mild sense of giddiness instead?
Sometimes, I feel like I'm watching from outside. I step outside myself and become aware of the subtext. I read between the lines, find intent in patterns and react how they'd expect.
I'm a freak staying just under the radar, while I'm silently screaming inside.
(bow, bow)
What's your story?