Andy Borowitz writes satire. This is a satire piece.
I never use a bus ... I took my car for a service about 8 miles away, a 10 minute drive and left it for the day ... bus stop just outside the garage and that bus stops close to my home - NO PROBLEM - in my fucking dreams
waited 20 minutes for a bus to arrive ...a large noisily throbbing vehicle, seats as comfortable as a stone slab, packed with a blend of humanity I usually avoid ... sat with babys crying, stained with vomit and stinking of shit, mothers totally disinterested in the baby or other brats that cry, shout, scream, fight, etc throughout the journey...older people stoicly staring out of the window, pretending their life is not as bad as it clearly is ..
A full hour on that bus. visited every group of more than 5 houses, stopping every 400 yards or so - (can nobody walk any more) - saw places that I didn't know existed and would have been none the worse for never knowing.
That was a few years ago - I simply do not have enough hours left in my life to waste another on a bus ride
I am legally blind and don't drive. So, transit is a necessary evil for me. And, yes, public transit has problems.. at least in the U.S. However, it is better than nothing.
I am hoping that the level 5 self driving cars will be available soon.
Satire - thank goodness. Phew.
And if it were true, it still wouldn't surprise me. bwahahaha