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Can people change?

A pretty broad question, but I get the impression most of us are trying to in some way. A better question might be, in what ways or under what conditions can/do people change for the better?

Studies and sources welcome

Honestape 6 Mar 14
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26 comments

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7

Sure. For example, i used to be a polite and kind German woman. Forty years here in Disneyland; and I am a sharp-tongued , unrelenting American bitch with hardly any encouraging thought left.

7

People change when they are ready and they want to. I have turned my life around so I know it's possible.

5

The short answer is yes. The longer answers are well done in previous comments. My additional comment is that it depends. The well-worn neural pathways we started building at birth are very prevalent and take a conscious effort to "repair" - if that is one's desire. But you have to know what you're looking for. "Know Thyself" is a tough one. I had a strange childhood, was bullied, etc., and there are still some reactions I notice in myself, to certain situations, that are absolutely left over from decades past.

To use my constant quote from Anais Nin: "We don't see things as they are. We see things as WE are."

5

Gnerally, everyone changes over time. I ttakes conscious effort for some people to make sure those changes are for the be3tter. Change doens't usually happpen overnight. It is a logn drawn out process most of th etime. Ther are exceptions, ususally percipitated by a dramatic experience, but most who change initially after such an experience still revert mostly back to hwo they were before th experience.

So yes, peopel can and do change. However in most cases results come much clower than one might wish.

4

First, they have to recognize that they need to change. Second, they have to want to change. Third, they have to take action at changing what needs to change.

SamL Level 7 Mar 14, 2018
4

People can and do change when the pain of not changing is worse than the pain of changing (and, they correctly identify the actual source of the pain).

I rejected religious faith when it caused me more pain than the perceived / expected pain of making that change in epistemological orientation. Fortunately for me the cost, while substantial, was less than I feared. It was, ultimately, an excellent tradeoff.

More philosophically, can people fundamentally change their personality, character, sexual orientation, etc? Mostly not. But there is plenty of room for growth, acquisition of balance and wisdom and so forth. I'll always be an introvert, and predisposed to idealism, for example. But I've stretched out of my comfort zone in both areas, to my benefit.

4

When you speak of change I'll interpret it as growth and positive change. Most of us can do so with a bit of effort. For some it takes a lot more work, dealing with issues from childhood or later life in order to proceed. The only folks who are incapable are those who can't be honest with themselves.

3

People cannot avoid change, imho. You will have a hard time finding actual research on those terms, because you would need to define "better", and that is something most researchers do not attempt. Also, that would require a longitudinal study -- not the most common type. Maybe you can start with Pinker (Better Angels of our Nature), you might get some insight into what to look for. On one aspect only, check out Dishonesty, a documentary on Netflix; it also deals with your question -- again, focusing on one aspect.

Anyway, I think that is one of the most important questions we can ask, and I am glad you are doing so.

3

Growth and change are constant. If an individual is open to learning and trying new things. Sometimes the need to do so is forced, or ordered, but ideal condition to begin your plan is always now

3

The only way I've seen it happen, is when the person themselves decides to make a change. Otherwise no outside influences will do it ...

2

Yes. But it is the exception. Which is why it's cool to see. Change is simple but it's hard

2

I believe change is part of our evolution, we learn through our experiences and the knowledge we gain over our lifetime. We adapt to societal changes and expectations. In general, we are always changing.

If we take the time to examine the last twenty years of our lives we can see and pinpoint the changes in our needs, wants, desires, and dreams as we adapted to our ever-changing personal environment.

Our basic personalities stay pretty much the same throughout our lifetime. Character traits are altered through personal experiences. These traits can be positive or negative and with the desire and willingness to make changes for self-improvement changes can be made, usually with help and time.

Betty Level 8 Mar 14, 2018
2

People can change their opinions, ideas and life philosophies due to current events and personal experience. People cannot change their /likes/dislikes, personal traits, personality and morality. They have boundaries.

So you don't think someone who is naturally an introvert can become an extrovert or change the way they treat people?

Big changes in personality? Maybe through therapy and time and practice.

1

People may change in ways, but I think there's a fundamental part of us that does not change unless we have a major epiphany. Even then, it's a process

1

Definitely, but some of the things we learned young and learned well will be with us to some degree or another for the rest of our lives.

1

I feel the answer to that is coming to terms of who you truly want to be in this lifetime. I've changed at least several times in my life realizing I wasn't that person that was brought up by the traditions and teachings that were taught as young person. I believe, "The Circle of Tradition is Conditioned". When we break from that tradition then we become the person we were meant to be...

1

People change....for the better and for the worse....constantly...and in most instance we are not even aware that we have changed.

0

I've changed physically in 2 years and I've smartened up.

0

We can learn, so we can change.
I know I have changed many times and lots.

0

People Can and do Change, but depending on the individual it can be from moderate to extremely difficult for them to effect permanent change. Wanting to change is the first step, but that in itself isn't enough. One must really work on changing, being constantly mindful of the desired outcome and seeking out professional help when necessary. Those that are personality disordered will have a near impossible challenge to getting better, as they are unlikely to think they have a problem and this is brain wiring and chemistry that was often genetically predispositioned and formed in early childhood development.

0

My late stepfather and my best friend were both somewhat redneck and racist, and both changed over time with influence from my mother, brother, and me. It can happen, but I don't know how common it is. My experience is that it is rare.

0

Dunno. I'm convinced my basic personality can't be changed, but I have learned a few things, so changed in that way.

0

People don't change for the most part. Some people change. I think a more interesting question is, for me, do people have control over changing? Does a cheater change? Or do they just run out of options? Do they actively try to change? Does nature do it for them? Why do people take so long to actively try to change? If it takes so long then can it be accredited to them actually trying to change? Can we really count someone as changing who is one way for 55 years and then for the last 10 - 20 years of their life they "change"?

0

Wisdom can really help and all the bad things make you more sceptical

0

You can't stop changing. Everyone changes constantly a tiny bit every day with every decision you make. Whether you are changing for better or worse is a different story. I believe we change by each decision we are either reinforcing or abandoning our values which builds or tears down our self worth. That's what controls which direction we're growing.

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