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Is sex a touchy subject for you to talk about?

For me it is. The new guy friend thinks I'm hot. (That is no surprise to me) He likes to make jokes about sex or takes my comments the wrong way. I just admitted to him that I've been ignoring the sexual innuendos and comments. It's a touchy subject to me because when I was younger my dad molested me. (A post made a long time ago) I also told him of the sexual abuse my 2 exes put me through. He hasn't read those messages because he thinks I'm not an adult and that I get offended easily. I'm not offended. We aren't dating and I think this friendship just ended. Mostly when men that talk sexually to me, want something from me. I block men like that. I'm not a piece of ass, and I'm not easy like that. That is one reason I've removed all my pics of me off of here, but one. That is another reason I find it hard for me to accept compliments about my body or my face. I was too scared to report anyone that abused me sexually. So I cut them out of my life. Some men don't care about some women and how they feel.

Sarahroo29 8 Mar 14
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4 comments

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1

Not at all, but everyone is different.

Yes.

1

Pretty much I was sexually abused as a child by my father (depressive) and physically abused by my mother (manic) those scars take a long time to heal - I once phoend the Samaritans and they told em to get get off the line -I left home at 15 years old - My current partner and I are physical and loving & caring but non sexual . I have D.I.D from my childhood experiences and that takes a fair bit of managing - I think its perfectly okay to state boundaries straight away and maintain them with vigour to make sure they are not breached - and there are kindly souls out there. I hope that we both get to meet them !

Yes. I won't get into another relationship because of it.

1

Thank you for sharing such personal stories. I'm sorry that you've had to endure these things. I have questions though, and perhaps questions you should ask yourself. Would you consider yourself Asexual? Do you (don't answer if it's too personal) pleasure yourself? Perhaps there are some things you need to work out with yourself before even persuing a relationship of any kind with a guy. Have you seeked counseling? I don't blame you or find fault in you at all, but sometimes we do have to work out some things, and know your boundaries. You obviously need to take things slow when getting to know guys. And I think in some way, it's good to let them know upfront that you're not a very sexual person. Perhaps that will deture them from talking about it. It may turn guys off but who cares, if you respect yourself enough and know what you want and need, I believe someone out there will be understanding. Do give up, things will get better!

I'm not asexual. I have a friend with benefits right now. It's been 1 year knowing him. This other guy is autistic (high functioning) and he started out being nice and not sexual. Now his comments aren't very much appreciated from only being a friend.

1

It is sad to hear you talk like this. You are not the first woman to feel this way and sadly you won't be the last. Sex can be so lovely, beautiful and intermate it seems a shame that it is denied to some because of the horrors that some men do. I hope that one day you may find a guy who will be patient, gentle and understanding. It may be this new friend but he seems to be getting impatient. I think you need to sat him striaght and see if he will stay the coarse.
I have been with many woman who have been abused (it is difficult to find any that have not) I tend to start with just touching. Hand, head, neck and foot rubs are a good start and work slowly from there.

I don't like people touching me very much. Only if I'm with a guy.

@Sarahroo29 Thats what I was talking about. Take it slowly, explain your situation to your chap. He if cares for you he will understand (in this respect I think older guys would have more patience) if he does not then... It is not insurmountable but it does take time and care. Its all about trust and letting go but the rewards are well worth it. Sex can be one of the most joyous and wonderful experiences imaginable. It is how we create new life. But it takes two to tango and only if you feel right will you get anything from it so you have to be able to relax and feel comfortable in the situation.
If you would like to talk more privately about this (no I am not a perv) , you can FB me @ kelvin matchett

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