@evergreen

Hilarious! Thanks for your priceless reply.

It's not you at all and you're not doing anything wrong. If you are not at least a 7 in looks, and that means all of it, face, body, how you dress, hair, you are going to get ignored by most women on paid dating sites in favor of the 7s, 8s and 9s. I have no answers, as anyone on here who reads my comments knows that we are in the same boat even tho I am your father's age and have a good relationship track record as a widower, am average looking, and financially secure. Those things without good looks seem to impress no one.

Looked at your profile and, to be blunt, the only things I can see going against you with the shallow world of online dating, is that you have an average face, even with a nice full head of hair, and are not tall, which is another thing most women want, which I have, along with an average body.

@Charles7600

Smile in your photos. Show your pearly whites!

A genuine smile is inviting, warm and attractive. Women want to see your eyes and smile. You also need a recent, full-body shot, fully clothed, of course.

Write an interesting profile. Describe your best characteristics and strengths, activities you enjoy, and what you are looking for in a relationship. Talk a little about the type of woman you want to meet using personality traits.

Appreciate the tips. I'm doing a lot better now that I have moved away from Tinder style dating apps. Not being able to express myself in writing was hurting me. At some point I should update my profile here, but this seems less like a dating app and more like Facebook for adults.

@Charles7600 You're exactly right Agnostic.com has been called the FB for thinking, non-believing adults and that's what it is.

On my profile I am; a never smoker. I have always worked out and enjoy the outdoors.I am an atheists. I was contacted by a woman who said she smokes and was looking for someone to go to Winstar, a casino just north of Dallas in Oklahoma, with on Saturday and go to church with on Sunday. I said no thank you.

@Remi

Hilarious! Thanks for your great reply.

@Sierra4

People don't realize their profile and pictures are an advertisement to attract the type of person they want to meet.

Boy is that the fucking truth! It really goes both ways, LH. Here in Iowa, I can't count the number of profiles that have the woman with their adult kids or grandkids. I skip over those profiles immediately because it's obvious the woman is very family-oriented, unlike me. In my area, having kids, adult and grandkids is so common and seemingly required, that it's like a lapel pin with an American flag after 9-11 on a politician, totally gratuitous, but seemingly required for show. I have heard that you are never supposed to have kids in profile pics, for privacy purposes, but it sure doesn't stop all the farmer's daughter types in Iowa. Also, there are countless pics of women too far away to see their face or body type, as well as countless profiles of women with no full body shot, undoubtedly overweight women trying to hide being fat and thinking guys are stupid enough to not see thru that. Next.... Lastly, as you say, women in group photos where you really can't tell, based on the other photos, which one they are and or course there is no caption there to help you.

I've also seen plenty of profiles where the woman never smiles in her pics. Leaves me to wonder what they are likely hiding. Missing or bad teeth? Or, as my younger gal pals put it, is she just showing her "resting bitch face"? Their words, not mine....The bottom line is, the photo is there to move us past the days of blind dating. Use it intelligently and honestly. We aren't expecting pro studio pics, just honest photos that show us the goods, so to speak, because both men and women these days are very visual and put a lot of stock in pics for who they will message and meet, all other things being equal.

@Ms_McSteven You may think my viewpoint is sad and you are entitled to your opinion, but I'm pretty well convinced it's the view of almost all men on dating sites and even most women, even tho some of them, not you, are not willing to admit it for fear of looking shallow. That is why dating coaches recommend one full body shot close enough to see body type as well as at least one close up head shot. And this is from female coaches, BTW, It now appears that these two type of pics are now part of the norm on more and more women's profiles, I can't speak to what men are showing, but I'm guessing it's including lots of guys with shirtless photos showing off their muscles and abs, which some women would really be impressed by, maybe not you, but it probably for most of them gets their messages answered, unlike me...Just like any woman, I am entitled to write off anybody for any reason, women sure as hell do in my experience with online dating. And to me, someone seeming to hide something, whether they are or not, seems like a good one and is often a valid red flag. I have heard plenty of women saying the same thing about men wearing ballcaps to probably hide baldness, for example, as well as men who lacked full body shots. As Sticks says ad nauseum, it goes both ways and I will not be labelled sexist or misogynist, not that you were doing that, for being honest. I don't let my opinions be criticized without standing up for them. I can't count the number of women who say they write off all guys who don't smile in any of their pics on the assumption the guy is a negative jerk, is hiding missing or bad teeth, etc. Are they wrong and sad?

@Ms_McSteven We'll just have to respectfully disagree here. Maybe my view will doom me to being alone, maybe not. But I can only speak for me in saying that in my 60 years of life and 22 years so far of trying to date, that I have never met someone whose looks grew on me from no physical attraction to wanting to have sex with them. The reason doesn't really matter and is probably unknown to me as it is to most people wired that way. But what matters is being honest with myself and the women I encounter in the dating game. Beginning with a girl I dated in high school and ever since, I have been a very sensitive male who really hates it when I meet someone and hope that their looks will grow on me or that I will be attracted to them later and it doesn't happen. It really sucks to meet someone, really like them platonically and then have to make the speech to them that it's strictly going to be friendzone when one or both were hoping for more. It sucks to be on either end of the friendzone in my experience after meeting someone in a dating context or situation. Trust me, most people I have met would rather be rejected before meeting from a dating site than meet in person and immediately see that the other person has already put you in the friendzone for good based on your looks. When that happens, both men and women can immediately tell, trust me on that one. I am too old and tired to keep replaying that game when it can be avoided.

@TomMcGiverin

Look at my photos, Tom, and tell me what you think.

Our photos should express who we are and activities we enjoy.

@LiterateHiker With a well-known, at least on Agnostic, flamethrower of blunt truth like me, LH, be careful what you ask for, lol. Ok will take a peek and post it here or PM you? Your choice....

@TomMcGiverin

I refuse to meet a man without seeing his pearly whites. Every single guy I met with closed-mouth photos had horrid teeth:

missing teeth, broken, black stumps, rotten, diseased gums, yellow, gray, snaggle-toothed and/or breath that stank of rotten meat.

Yuck. I cannot imagine kissing that.

@TomMcGiverin

Private message, please.

@LiterateHiker You are proving my point I made above about closed mouth photos of men, and women, for that matter. The guy may also not be smiling because he is the angry, abusive type as well.

@LiterateHiker PM it is.

@TomMcGiverin I’m overweight: short and curvy. I lost all my teeth in 2010 due to two years of severe vomiting and malnutrition. I do have implant dentures, but often cannot wear them because I get nauseated so easily.
Despite these flaws, I meet and have great sex with wonderful men. And women; I’m bisexual. Right now I’m seeing a wonderful man, who is accepting of my imperfections.
Here’s what I look like.
When I’m sick, I look pained; gain/lose weight. Most men don’t want a sick woman, not long term. I don’t want to put my burden on anyone, either.

@CarolinaGirl60 Point taken Beth. You know I like you and think you are good folks. I did not mean any insult or disrespect for your faultless health issues. I can relate and have a couple of my own. I agree also that most people of either gender do not want to buy into an LTR with someone who has health issues, even at our age. Glad you found a rare and interested man.

@TomMcGiverin None taken! I’m glad to have found someone who accepts my faults as well as my graces. It’s not easy, this dating thing.

@CarolinaGirl60 No it aint't glad you've been luckier than me with it. You are a better person and deserve it more in the karmic scheme of things.....