I understand your skepticism given the public history of spousal abuse, but as a victim of such, I can say the reverse side of the coin is hidden by the shame that so many people, male people, have had to endure, by way of mockery and judgement rather than bringing husband beating in o the public arena for so long. Thankfully this is changing and the truth is that neither men or women have a monopoly on being a complete ass.
That unpleasantness aside couples are often made up of one partner who is an efficient administrator and one who wants a quiet life, in many such cases it is the woman who runs the household with the husband quietly pretending to be henpecked in order to get out of tasks he has no interest in or desire to take on.
Again the need for such a facade is crumbling as people become more and more honest.
In my own life time I saw how my grandfather worked hard each day and came home to an efficiently run house with his leisure time and holidays laid out for himself and my Grandmother by her efforts alone. However to all appearance for the outside world Granddad ruled his castle with a rod of iron, when to the family we knew it was a matriarchy he could never hope to oppose, nor did he want to.

@LenHazell53 I don't want to minimize any pain you suffered and yet I don't think we can dismiss the truth of male on female abuse over one or two modern examples from a country where progress has been made over women's rights for around a hundred years. Men are often far stronger than women so even when it is a woman abusing a man, it tends to be less terrifying for the man than it would be for a woman. I would say if everyone were open and honest about any abuse going on and we found that just as many men are physically abused by their wives as women are physically abused by their husbands, you would still find a discrepancy in the degree of injuries. I also believe that even now the emphasis on women caring for the children place them at a disadvantage when it comes to leaving abusive situations. Again, I don't want to belittle the hurtful experiences you had but I do think we need to recognize the true nature of the situation if we are going to resolve problems and build stronger societies.

@UpsideDownAgain Such special pleading as this IS the problem, it is easy to say men are stronger than women, bigger than women etc, but it simply is not born out by facts.
Yes a man will punch or kick a woman, will be a brutal monster, but a man as a general rule will not wait till a woman is asleep and then pour boiling fat over them, I know of at least twenty cases of women attacking men in their sleep or threatening to do so leading to sleep deprivation.
Women are often bigger than their husbands, as in my case, my first wife was eight inches taller than me and seven stone heavier, after we parted she also ended up in court for beating up another woman after being paid by her husband to do so as was also being abused by his wife but refused to raise a hand to a woman.
I have been hit with pans, burned with cigarettes, emotionally and mentally abused and left with scars both physical and psychological just as bad as bruises and abrasions visited on any woman by a violent man.
In all this I never raised a hand to my former partner and after she drove me away divorced me for desertion, after which I discovered she had throughout our relationship had six other relationships with women and men including my own brother.
So don't even try to tell me I was never frightened, and in your own words "we need to recognize the true nature of the situation" and stop relying on time worn cliches and tropes that all men are bastards and or idiots and that all women are victimised angels.

@LenHazell53 If what I said led you to believe I think all men are bastards and all women are victimized angels then I'm not sure we're capable of communication on this issue.