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How much social interaction does one need?

My social interactions are sparse apart from every day routines like shopping. I don't have a constant group of friends that I go out and do stuff with, more like a few disparate groups who hang out a lot together, but invite me out randomly every other month. I used to take every opportunity to go out and try to create as many events as possible, even if I didn't feel like it, because I'd heard of scientific studies talking about people losing their shit when they don't have enough social interaction, but I kind of feel like I'm losing my shit constantly working to bring my social life together only to have it continuously fall through and remain inconsistent.

I've thought a lot of things would hurt me/make me crazy only to find I was just fine without it, in fact better than I've ever been, so now I'm considering not trying to create something that really isn't there and spend more time focusing on myself and my work for a while. I won't brush off every social engagement, but I'll just go to the ones I know I'm going to be a certain level of comfortable at, but this could mean that I don't go out with friends for months at a time. What do you think? Good idea? Bad? Other suggestions?

Honestape 6 Mar 20
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26 comments

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7

Everyone is different. Social interaction isn't really a one size fits all kind of thing. While having a support system, no matter the size, is important, going out frequently isn't something everyone needs. Spending time with yourself and learning to enjoy your own company is an important part of maintaining good self-esteem, and I think it is as important as that external support system.

I believe if you have to force it, it's not meant to be. It sounds like you might be just fine without consistently having a full social calendar. I say go with the flow! Just relax and tune into how you're feeling. If you have the itch to socialize, call somebody up and go out. If you want to hang out at home, do that! You know what feels right for you and what doesn't more than any study or article ever will.

One final note - we all change and evolve as life goes on. If at any point what you've been doing doesn't feel right anymore it's more than OK to switch things up.

6

I'm inclined to agree with the sentiments of most of the other commenters here; it comes down to personal preference, and finding what works best for you, what makes you feel comfortable and most content. The only way a lack of social interaction might negatively affect you is if you find that such limited contact makes you feel left out, left behind, or lonely. Being particular about which social interactions you engage in doesn't mean there's something wrong with you; it means you know how to set boundaries for the sake of your happiness, and on this topic, I speak from personal experience.

I have few close friends, and those I do keep close I'll typically see maybe once every few months. We live busy lives, have differing familial obligations, and aren't much for the party scene--but that doesn't mean we don't still go out on the town occasionally. I used to feel a bit left out when my friends all got together without me, that perhaps there was something deeply amiss when I'd say yes to a social gathering, and then just dream about my PJ's and a good book the whole time I was there; that maybe I was incapable of "normal" social bonding or interpersonal connection. But I've found that in reality, I prefer intimate spaces and plenty of time to be myself without the added pressure, which I tend to find most successfully when I'm on my own or in smaller group settings.

In sum, you do you, and stay true to that, or you really will drive yourself mad trying to "keep up".

5

Depends on the person. Some crack under the loneliness some thrive. There are a number of well known hermits that find peace and contentment in total solitude no social media to substitute. However all that I know of had high enough brain resolve and language ability to stave of madness. Its thought the more you know the more you cope with solitary confinement as you have a well developed mental map and a firm grasp of reality in order to combat bordem yet stave off insanity. So if you wanna be alone education and self knowledge is key.

5

I can go for an entire week without talking to anyone. I actually find it quite relaxing. All the same, I do still enjoy going out for a drink with my friends and just having a nice chat. So essentially, I work with what I'm given, neither extreme has much effect on me.

4

A lot of it is finding the right people. Sometimes you can be surrounded by dozens of people and be just as alone as if nobody is there. This happens when people are just using you for your car, house, money, body etc. Sometimes they push you over the edge to the point where your performance at work suffers and you have to just let them all go.

Then there are people who make you a better person than who you are. They tend to be fully functional and not have substance abuse problems or severe emotional issues. When they're around , it rubs off on you. You suddenly feel motivated to perform and achieve things in life. Surround yourself with these people.

We all go through different phases in life and good and bad people will come in and out of our lives. Sometimes the best people in our lives move overseas or have lots of babies and we can't see them as much as we used to. Knowing good people when we find them and making them a part of our lives makes us grow. Don't be afrraid. We can do this.

4

After a few rounds of depression I have found that creating a social circle and maintaining it is integral to my well being. More than a couple of days on my own and I start to get weird again.

4

I think it's very healthy to pick and choose and not do something because you feel you're "supposed to." Everyone has a different comfort level when it comes to social interaction and that can even change from time to time. We don't have to do what society says we should be doing.

3

Introverts do well with a small social group. The one thing that kills people faster than most everything else, however, is loneliness. Being alone and loneliness are not the same thing. Many people are lonely even when surrounded by lots of people. I think as long as a person is content, it doesn't really matter how large their social network is.

K8TE Level 5 Mar 21, 2018
3

Part of one's day is necessary. Whatever remains, do what you want but you have to live with it.

3

Maybe find a group that has similar interests that you would want to be involved with more. Even if its volunteering, sports, music, movies, whatever?

2

Being okay alone is a very empowering thing.

2

I was reading a story recently about a man who lived as a hermit for over 20 years, making himself a home in a thicket in a campground and robbing nearby houses for food, clothing and books. It was very hard to penetrate the thicket and he had a special path, a sort of cave using newspapers for a floor. He was finally arrented but he hadn't spoken to anyone in many years. Fastinating.

2

Don't try to hard as opertunities can come from anywhere especially if your reasonably content

1

As an introvert, I find interacting with people face to face, other than my wife, extremely energy draining. I believe on-line interaction is more and more, replacing my limited need to be among people "in the flesh".

1

It's maddening what passes for social interaction nowadays!

1

Honestly, if you crave social interaction, get a dog.

1

People make me nervous. Drop me in a party, and I'll spend more time talking to the pets or just standing next to a house plant.

I have a very few close friends, some work acquaintances, my disability communities, and my cats. That's enough for me most of the time.

1

Don't try to hard as opertunities can come from anywhere especially if your reasonably content

1
  1. 3 whole social interaction.
1

Personally - lots. I love talking to people, ideally as many different sorts of people as possible. I'm the sort of person who strikes up conversation with random strangers in shops and on trains, as well as spending hours chatting with friends. I think if I was unable to interact with other people for more than 24 hours I'd probably go mad.

Jnei Level 8 Mar 20, 2018
1

I think it all depends on individual need. I don't need much, as I prefer peace and quiet, and don't like being around people all that much.

1

You Do what you Need.

1

I think not being social hurts you in ways you arent aware of.
You never know how many people you miss connections with, the chances you'd have to change someones life.
networking, how many people could help you if they know you better.
There may be a better version of you you just don't know

0

Be true to yourself, unless you are a serial killer. If that is the case l would urge you to keep to yourself, PLEASE!

0

I think it's a great idea focusing on yourself. If your friends miss you they will contact you, and if they don't, they're not really your friends. Social functions are good for meeting new people who share similar ideas. Other than that you can limit your presence at social functions by cherry picking the ones that really interest you.

SamL Level 7 Mar 23, 2018
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