Well, that happened...
So, it was an interesting couple of weeks...
I met an interesting lady online, we seemed to have a lot in common but also a number of differences. She's a morning person, I'm a night owl, she's a professional person, I'm an hourly grunt, that sort of thing. Mainly what we had in common was physical attraction, and I thought we were both on the same page as far as being interested in a friendly physical relationship.
So we spent 1 day and 2 nights together, had a lot of fun... and then suddenly she was getting into my personal life, giving me career advice, critiquing my parenting abilities.... WHAT the FUCK, lady? You've known me for 2 weeks? Nope... this is not happening.
So... back to the dating scene again.
What happened? What makes someone suddenly try to start infiltrating or taking over your life after starting a physical relationship? Have others out there experienced this?
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9 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.It's a good idea to get a clear picture of expectations and how intertwined a partner is emotionally and sexually. Not all women, but many women look at a sexual relationship a whole lot more emotionally than many men do. I have noticed that men can often be sexually aroused even by women they aren't particularly fond of or are even angry with. This isn't as common for women and many of us have developed an emotional commitment by the time we're willing to engage in sex. While the topic may be a libido dampener, it's wise to discuss that and be on the same page about it before the relationship gets sexual.
Deb57
Level 8
Oct 1, 2019
0
Well, at least the sex was good.
BitFlipper
Level 8
Sep 30, 2019
1
It's always a learning experience.
I am just curious. You had something good going on there. Could you talk it out? Did you say let us go slow or it was too early to discuss personal details? I wonder what we men can do to salvage the good while managing something not really terrible?
As some men have said here.. "I want more" monster showed up and showed up too early?
St-Sinner
Level 9
Sep 30, 2019
1
As long as it kept to the friendly physical and sexy stuff, yeah, it looked promising, and that's what we had agreed on. When she started trying to be my life coach (as @AnneWimsey puts it), that's an area I don't need. I have a therapist already.
that goes into her "and this is why Im single" file
MarkiusMahamius
Level 7
Sep 30, 2019
2
Maybe she cares about you and wants to see you do better, not saying she's right or wrong, or that you even need help...
Cutiebeauty
Level 9
Sep 30, 2019
0
Control freak Alert! Was he looking for a life coach?
Let's put it this way... One day I had to take a day off from work due to stress (it's a diagnosed issue and I have FMLA leave over this) and so I was able to chat with her at a time I usually wouldn't. Instead of being delighted, she was appalled that I was off work. Several friends expressed their sympathy. Her reaction was that this doesn't look good in an employee and how would it affect my search for another job?
We were two different people (and too different as people).
@Paul4747 you, sir, had a lucky escape! I would have gone to KFC and got us a picnic!
@AnneWimsey And tonight I got out of work to find a long text about how hurt she was to have been "dumped" after one weekend... when A) she had already been asking if our schedules were too different, in a way that suggested she was angling for an exit, and B) I already explained to her my feeling, we're too different to make it in the long term.
Would she have preferred I go 6 months and then let her down? Let's do be adult about this. A clean break right now is best, when I can already tell that her personality and mine are not compatible.
I've rarely had to block a phone number, but this time I decided it's for the best. I can't be bothered with her attempts at making me feel guilty when I am the aggrieved party.
@Paul4747 sounds reasonable to me........actually the (Late in the day!)complaint about being dumped is a Yuge red flag..........
She liked you well enough to try to tweak you into what she wanted. It happens.
RiverRick
Level 7
Sep 30, 2019
3
It happened too damn fast for my taste in this case.
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