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Growing up, & how we often destroy scientists before they start.

What did you want to be when you were a child? Did you accomplish that goal? If not, why? If so, did you have a strong support system?

I wanted to be an astronomer since I was like 5 years old. I'd even pretend, though we never could afford a telescope. Unfortunately, I never achieved that dream, and it is something that still bothers me... especially in an age where we have and have had Neil Degrasse Tysons, Stephen Hawkings (I know, I'm sad, too), Carl Sagans, Brian Coxes (I have a crush on this man, lol), Lawrence Krausses, and many more. It's wonderful, but also a painful reminder of what could have been; bittersweet.

I spent much of my childhood in a rural area with a breathtaking night sky. We had a lush bed of clover that grew all around the yard. Such a peaceful place... I would lay there at night, marveling at the stars and wondering what was out there.

I remember when I stopped dreaming. I was maybe 8 or 9 years old. There was some family gathering, and an adult asked what I wanted to be. I excitedly and proudly said, "Astronomer!" It was met with looks of disapproval, and "Mija, that doesn't make you any money. You need to find a job that will make money." I felt deflated and sad. Anytime I said what I wanted to be, it was met with that same attitude. Over time, it successfully crushed that dream.

However, sad as that may be, I have now have 2 wonderful kids who I can encourage to follow their dreams, no matter what anyone says... Who I can teach that money isn't the most important thing, but that money can be made doing what you love to do. But money is not the most important goal.

I cannot wait to push them toward their dreams, and to dream with them... and that's what should be done for all children. We, as a society, truly do crush scientific inquiry when it is jus barely budding. That needs to stop.

RaeBxtchens 5 Mar 24
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18 comments

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0

I wanted to be a doctor. In college, I chased too many beers and drank too many women . My fault my grades weren't good enough. I still have a fascination with science and math. No regrets. We are our choices and decisions.

1

Alive I wanted to be alive -my family were mad as hatters and violent for no reason at all so I left home at 15 and am still alive at 70 -I m=nevr really knew what I wanted to do but as a baby boomer jobs were plentiful and i worked in labs an doffices and had an all round experience - my faavourite was lecturer in person centred couselling so I had a lot of joy in my work life and if it turned sour there were no end of job vacancies to be filled. I am sorry for this generation who never really got to test thei labour power

1

Never did figured out what I wanted to be when I grew up. The weird thing was they would always ask what I wanted to be and I would just shrug my shoulders, I truly did not know. What I did know was I was borned with school but I could get lost in the encyclopedia, LOVED math but struggled to get the correct answers(transpose numbers and not realize it), loved history but just memorizing dates seemed dumb, there are bigger backstories to those date.
Weird family dynamics is all I know for sure.

Thank you for sharing your story.

2

Is it too late to do something that goes in the direction of your dream? I was in my mid-sixties before I started my MA and though now in my mid-seventies would love to do a Ph.D if I could afford it. It's never to late to study and there are quite often organisations that help mature learners with funding.

Some would say "it's never too late," but I do have life situations that would make it next to impossible.

@RaeBxtchens That is tough. I know what you mean. I have things I desperately want to do but my life doesn't permit it at the moment. Maybe one day!

@CeliaVL I hope so, for both of us! <3

1

I was primary caregiver for my Autistic nephew when he was a toddler and preschooler. I found his first special interest with him, and we did all things volcano for a couple years. These days, he prefers to design computers and code. I always try to find things to help him do what he wants.

Keep encouraging him, <3. You're doing a great job, and I'm sure he thanks you for your thoughtfulness. Or he will one day, lol

4

People (close family included) had ever laughed at my dreams or taking them non-seriously, but as per now I have shown quite a determination in making them happen.
When I was 4 I got fascinated by busses, streetcars, trains, planes, etc. I knew all the routes, I was making my grandmother taking me out just for rides over the transit.
My parents were mocking me up how useless that knowledge is. They handed me a cello instead and demanded me to become a musician. Should I say it did not work?
Now, 29 years later, I am a mechanical engineer in transportation (railways), established tech expert in railway operations, train operator, and currently doing my grad towatds a degree in Urban planning with transportation concentration, so... pretty much my dream.
The lesson - never give up and it will work its way through.

Good for you! I hope you are successful in your endeavors.

WAY ta go!!! and not pun intend? LOL good story!!

3

I wonder if your family's crushing reaction would have been the same if you had been a boy? There are some very successful women astronomers (better represented there, I think, than in the other physical sciences). I was about 11 when I told my parents I wanted to be a research scientist. I went on to do just that. My mother thought I would make a lot of money. I didn't, but I made enough. I really wasn't all that ambitious, there just wasn't anything else that appealed to me to the same extent. I hope your children marvel at the stars. I hope you still marvel at the stars.

Thank you for sharing your story, and your insight. Honestly, I wonder. They probably would have encouraged me more than they did (which was none, lol), but they probably would have discouraged me for other reasons. Who knows? They were chauvinists.

I take my son out to look at the stars, and my 14 month old will soon enough. I definitely do still marvel at the stars, and am looking forward to splurging on a telescope when I can afford to do so.

Thank you so much for being so kind 🙂

2

I think you should pick up where you left off on your dream. Clearly, it sounds like you still would like to be an astrophysicist. I had wanted the same thing for myself and dropped it as well (as well as a career in music). I love what I do, but I do sometimes look back with regret. I say go for it.

Thank you for that encouragement. If I may, I'd like to message you about this. There are some things I'm not quite ready to share in the public forums.

Yeah, absolutely shoot me a DM.

2

No one helped including my parents. I am a self-taught artist with no qualifications which hasn't helped me. I just luckily am determined to do anything that people tell me I cant.

That's amazing, and I'm proud of you (not that it means much, lol). I think it's a bit different, but am glad you're able to push through and able to make such amazing work. Kudos to you, a million times 🙂

Thank you for sharing.

you couldn't be more wrong @RaeBxtchens it means a lot to me my love x. thank you and I hope you're inspired in some way.

3

Agree. I think I would have loved to be an engineer. No chance. Girls in my day could only aspire to be shorthand typists, or if they showed some intelligence, a teacher. Just until you got married of course My girl children were still restricted. Hopefully my granddaughter will be able to choose something she loves, testicles or not.

I hope your granddaughters achieve whatever they wish. I have 2 kids, and I will never allow anyone to step on their dreams the way in which mine were trampled.

5

I wanted to be a volcanologist, but chemistry and math and physics weren't my strong suit. Now I work with kids and encourge them to explore the natural world and get their science on! There are so many ways to encourage it. It doens't have to SCIENCE. We are doing Harry Potter day next week and one my activities is Is It Magic or Science? I'm going to do some dry ice demos and talk about what makes it work. Then we are going to make potions with baking soda and vinegar. You can sneak learning into just about anything.

Remi Level 7 Mar 24, 2018

Thank you for sharing, and for the encouraging words 🙂

I think teachers, good teachers like you, deserve all the praise <3

I am always thrilled when I read something from teachers who are enthusiastic about their work and pass that on to the children. I know it is not happening everywhere, but I feel there is more chance for children to follow their dreams now, especially with all the educational material available on the internet.

2

I think I changed my mind about what I wanted to be a hundred times when I was a kid, and when I got older I was told career aspirations 'drew too much attention,' so I stopped.

Nowadays I have no idea. Narcolepsy and dyscalculia make it difficult to learn much of anything.

I'm so sorry for the health issues. I hope you find something you love and at which you may succeed, if that's what you wish.

As a kid, I was pretty consistent. The only things that ever interested me were astronomy and archaeology. Both were met with "those don't make money." Looking back, I don't know if my family truly knew what those professions entailed. lol

2

No, I didn't. For me it was a mix between the cost of schooling and the cost of health care. I didn't want to be that deeply in debt the rest of my life.

AmyLF Level 7 Mar 24, 2018

Understandable. Thank you for sharing.

I think it's ridiculous that people are forced to choose professions that don't appeal to them, just because of the ridiculous cost of schooling in the US (assuming you're in the US. This is the only place I hear of such complaints).

@RaeBxtchens Yes, the US. There has been a push for both health and school to be lowered drastically but right now politics is getting too big of a payoff from both to bother trying to make either affordable. That's the bottom line.

@RaeBxtchens Seems to me it is the cost of healthcare that destroys people's dreams. It makes a huge difference having free healthcare as we do in the UK, although at the moment higher education is expensive. Hoping to change the government and make that free again, as it was when I went to university.

@CeliaVL I would venture that both do. I know both do in my case.

I hope that you guys achieve that. The U.S. could stand to take notes of places that have free education. It's an investment in the future, but the US is very backwards about such issues.

2

You are still young enough you can become what ever you want still. I was a bit of a non-conformer when I was a child. I just want to enjoy life. I’m still that way.

3

Its too bad you were unable to pursue your career aspirations. Today our children have more opportunities to learn and grow.

I wonder. I think the old prejudges are still in place. The countries that value learning over cash and have made it freely available to everyone instead of a profitable enterprise are the ones now and in the future better because they as a people are and will be "profiting" by those given a chance to achieve their dreams.

@Angelface Agreed. While I do think some things are better now, it seems access to education--in the US--is increasingly difficult to afford. Extensive education means big loans, and many years of loan repayment (possibly lifelong). Many younger people are opting not to get formal education, and finding unconventional ways of making a living.

@RaeBxtchens Speaking as someone who spent 21 years paying off student loans, I agree. Unfortunately, the Us sees everything through shades of green and behind rather than ahead.

@Angelface To think, a people who built a country to flee the tyranny of the Crown, have become tyrannical in so many ways. Education is a need, and should be provided to its citizens... and not for-profit.

5

I have no one to blame but myself. I can't say I ever had a dream in terms of "what I want to be." Honestly, I'm 56 and still don't know what I wanna be when I grow up. There are some things I'd like to do in semi-retirement. My parents were indifferent and did not foster/cultivate dreams or imagination nor did they discourage them. So I own my own situation (working a job I don't love, but making ok $$, homeowner, late model car, etc. Not rich or wealthy).

What I would say to you is that it's never to late to act on your dreams. Also, applaud you for raising your kids as you have described. I have told my kids (I have two) to find their passion and pursue it. And that the key to at least part of their happiness will be discovering their passion and turning it into a career. =]

Thank you for sharing your story. If you're happy, I would say your life is just fine. You have your needs met, and you're able to teach your children a valuable lesson.

Thank you for your encouragement, as well. <3

1

When I was a kid, I must have changed my mind a thousand times. Astronaut, firefighter, cop, soldier, paleontologist, forensic analyst, writer..... and so on. If you're going to take your kid's aspirations seriously, keep in mind that goals without deadlines are just dreams.

I will strongly disagree on that. I know that it is ironic for a planner to say that, but life is unpredictable. So deadlines have nothing to do with turning dreams into goals. Determination and devotion is all that counts.

@blago84 Good point, and thank you.

2

I believe strongly that kids don't know what they want... neither do most adults, but kids know what they like. My son is 6 now and in kadergarten. When he comes home from school I have him do homework which consists of 1st and 2nd grade content.

I also expose him to science, philosophy, biology, and most importantly the truth.

My point here is that I throw things at him and see what he likes, then he is able to approach them.

I disagree. Not every child is the same. That could not possible be true for all children. Children know what they like, but I can say from experience that a child can also know what they are passionate about and what's most important to them.

However, I think it's great you expose your child to a variety of things. It will make it easier for him to find what he is passionate about.

@RaeBxtchens Hi Rae, From your response it seems you actually agree with what I'm saying.
The reason I separated what they want from what they like is to imply a higher meaning to want. Kids know what they want as far as they know how some things make them feel.

For example kids know they like the taste of candy and so they may want more.

The want I was using was the adult want of wisdom + want.

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