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What do you do if he just wants to be friends?

He is a dear man, but that may be all we have, or all we have right now. It's frustrating. I've been in this place before, and I don't like it.

bleurowz 8 Mar 28
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35 comments (26 - 35)

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1

I'm no stranger to that. A couple of years ago I met someone on another site similar to this one she acted rather strange though. She wanted a platonic friendship which of course sucks and I wound up terminating the friendship.☹️

1

I would go along as “friends,” waiting him out until he finally figures out the error of his ways and realizes that he’s missing out on the best thing that could ever possibly happen to him in his entire life.

I will bake things for him, I will do his grocery shopping, I will offer to clean his house and do his laundry. I will watch his dog when he goes on vacation with other women. I will be his therapist and listen to his woes about the women he is dating, and while he cries on my shoulder, he will feel my love and learn to treasure my understanding and my presence.

Someday, he will wake up and finally will be mine all mine!

Ha! Oh no, I'm not that clueless! ?

@bleurowz I know. I was being facetious. But, unfortunately, there are a lot of people with low self esteem who do some version of this for some time.

@BlueWave I knew you were joking. And sadly you are right, there are people who will do this.

1

Do what feels best for you .

1

Friends are a good thing.

1

Let him know that you’ll probably spending more time with someone else. In case he wonders why you’re spending less time with him, let him know that you aren’t ghosting him

1

Move on.

1

Ok, you've been in this place before what does that tell you ? You don't like it, all you are is a booty call.
You obviously are not okay with that.
This man does not value you.
Value yourself sister. You're better than someone else's booty call.

I didn't read any booty calling, I have some female friends who only want to be friends, where i would like to consider something more, sadly, no booty.

@Rugglesby
I'm sorry I misunderstood.

@Wildgreens maybe you didn't, you might be right and more intuitive than I am.

Actually, it's not a booty call, far from it. There's a mutual attraction and a growing connection, but neither of us know where it's going just yet. If it was just sex I'd be out of there, no question.

1

Be sure to ask him, first, of his intentions. If he says he only wants to stay friend, but you want more, then cut things off and move on to date men with more in mind.

A friends relationship would be my ideal, actually, since I date men purely for the friendship, to acquire a male pal for hiking, discussing politics, ballroom dancing, traveling, having adventures, etc., and only agree to a romantic or sexual element after over a year together, when sexual attraction finally kicks in (I'm demisexual).

0

I have the same situation going on sort of - found out he is into kinky and that's not me. Really like the guy but got to go with your gut feeling.

0

What's the big deal. Grow up and be friends

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