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To you, what is the difference between being lonely and being alone. No platitudes, please.

annie1948 4 Nov 24
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22 comments

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13

Well, annie, I've been on this planet a goodly long time now and have experienced both feeling lonely and being alone. Notice that the two words are not even close to being alike.

Lonely is an emotional state. A desire. The feeling that something is missing or lacking, and that something is human interaction in one way or another. A need for contact.

Being alone is a state of existence and doesn't necessarily include any feelings at all. One may feel lonely while being alone, of course, but that is different than just being alone. I have been alone a lot and never felt lonely. On the other hand, I have been in rather large crowds and felt quite lonely.

Two different things, annie.

11

Being alone is a definiton of the world around you.
Being lonely is an expression of the world within.

Short and concise. You defined it beautifully.

'liked very much.

7

Being comfortable with being alone means you're likely not lonely. Self sufficiency is a great state to be in when finding someone to share your life with.

No problemo @jodyfine

6

Lonely is an empty space inside that persists even among family and friends.

Being alone can be enjoyable for some peace and quiet, to play or create, read a good book, to do nothing but relax, and so on. When you like yourself being alone is not a scary thing, it's something to look forward to.

Betty Level 8 Nov 24, 2017
5

i've been alone for 20 years, and i enjoy it, because i can think, without being influenced ! i am somewhat lonely sometimes, and i do have a friend. she asked me not to call her, and i'll honor her request, however; we have exchanged addresses, so if/when we want privacy; we can snail-mail each other !

thank you !

4

I was interested to read what others had to say on this question. I discovered that most people see loneliness and being alone the same way I do and there is no need for me to add to that specifically.
However I think that religious followers are at depth lonely and feel that they need someone outside of themselves to fill that need for attachment. A person who can spend much time alone and not FEEL lonely is usually some one who feels quite at ease with who they are, actually mostly likes who they are and does not feel the need for someone/something outside of themselves to cope with reality. I find that I can spend time with friends/family when I choose to, and be content with that; when I am alone is when I recharge my emotional batteries.

3

Being alone is the feeling of being isolated or by oneself. One can be alone in a crowd. But, being alone is sometimes good: It leads one to rely on oneself and take the initiative to do things that need to be done. I also enjoy being alone with my own thoughts.

Being lonely is the feeling of missing human contact in general, or specific person.

3

Being lonely means being without a meaningful connection to another person. It's an emotional state.
Being alone is just a physical state of being - you're not currently with other people.

3

The difference regards the desire of the person who is alone. If they don't want solitude, they're lonely; otherwise, they're alone.

3

I like having some alone time, no one else around, though I don't get much. Being lonely is uncomfortable and I feel it comes from lacking a deep connection to others or a significant other. That's just my take anyway. cuddles dog so I'm not alone or lonely lol

3

Being lonely is having lots of people around you but feeling misunderstood, people with ADHD and depression and other mental illnesses experience this feeling daily. Being alone, is not having anyone to communicate with, literally no one! That's my take on it anyway.

2

I put a LOT of time, energy and hard work into my 3 offspring. My oldest is ADHD, and was so difficult that I did not think I wanted other children. When he went off to kindergarden, I wanted a girl too, so we took a chance. She was/is so beautiful that strangers in the Mall would stop me and say " What a beautiful child". She was the devil in a little girl suit. When she was throwing 4 to 5 temper tantrums a day, I found I was pregnant again. I did NOT want another baby, but was delivered by a Vet posing as an OB/GYN at Walter Reed Army Medical Center. My youngest son quit breathing on my lap at 18 hours old and had to be monitered for 6 months. He is hooked up with a tattoed, pierced Amish woman 15 years older and barren. He is by far my favorite child. In retrospect, I would rather have been childless and lived my life for wonderful MEMEME ! That's what THEY are doing. 65 years old and no grandchildren. They are genetic dead ends. Love yourself. Be OK with you and you.

Would, that such lessons could be learnt without the pain and suffering. At least it should help in making these years left all the sweeter. You probably deserve them.

2

Being alone is a choice. Being lonely is a condition. Being alone is a situation whereas being lonely is an emotion

2

To be lonely is to desire the company of a person or persons and not having it. To be alone is to be OK with yourself. It's also the relief of not having to deal with others and relishing it.

2

Being lonely means you desire company. Being alone means that you’re without company.

2

One man in this pic is lonely, the other is alone. I posted this to my Facebook one year ago and have been thinking about it all day. I was invited to many get togethers, but I chose to stay home. I’m ok with it, so I’m alone. I have to make an effort not to be alone or I will become lonely. Loneliness is not a choice however, not for everyone anyway.

1

Recently my spouse was a way for one month, I was alone but not lonely? Now shes Is back and most of the tImes I am lonely?

1

Alone Is ok, lonely Is bad.

1

We arrive alone and without the self awareness with which we leave, also alone, for the journey forward. Being alone is probably about half of our creature existence; the other half being integrated as part of other things to which we are connected by blood, association and geography.

As social (what we're dubiously classified) animals, it is thought and partially experienced that we need a balance of both individuality and belongingness for a healthy existence.

'Being lonely' seems to me to indicate a deficiency of relatedness in our personal recipe for maintaining that healthy balance. The lonely crave company of others in order to be at peace.

It is a need that I see as greater among those who are more integrative in their identity and priorities. Those of us with stronger tendencies to assert individuality tend to be less lonely; often even relishing our solitude.

1

Being alone just means you're alone. No one else is around. Being lonely means you're isolated and you wish you weren't. Like, you wish you were with someone you can connect to.

1

I love being alone, no one disturbing me while I do my thing. I don't like being lonely, no one there to share and be shared.

1

I live alone. I like being alone. I really don't like people.

I really want a girl. One girl to smile with. One girl to tell me when I'm being crazy. I long for her.

We're meant to pair up. It's basic primordial instinct. It's a need.

A lot of us live our lives so that this pairing up is almost impossible.

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