We each do what we need to do to make our lives better. I know this sounds like I am in fantasy land, but It is my life and I will live it this way. Kate has Erdheim-Chester, a disease which about one thousand people on the planet have. It usually presents internally and the life expectancy is one and one-half years. She has a type that presents externally, she has lesions over her body which take years to heal. She considers herself ugly. She is in pain always. I cannot but love her as I do. To cheat on her would be unthinkable, to d anything that is not for her betterment is not going to happen. I can understand why people move onto other relationships while still in a relationship. I could not do this unless she drove me away, made life unbearable, and just did not want me here. This is not the case. On this site I communicate with far more women than men, I always have, for some reason I have not gotten along with men well. She knows I am doing this, I would not keep it away from her. I am not looking for someone else to move onto after she passes. That would be to be dishonest, to Kate, to any other woman, and to myself. I do not know what anyone want s to do with this.