If someone was without enough food or support and did not have enough money to feed themselves or their potential kid, is it rude or unethical to tell them their "child" is just a fetus and it is perfectly acceptable to get an abortion? A woman in an online group is asking for support, and the father abandoned her, she will have limited help from her mother, and she cannot afford to even feed herself healthy foods at the moment. That is already hard during the best of times, but she is trying to do this during a pandemic to boot! The cards seem stacked against her in every way, regardless of how sad the thought of an abortion makes her.
I feel like it is selfish and irresponsible to bring a new baby into such dire circumstances and within a pandemic. I think her decision is guided by her stupid religious beliefs, as I do not think she would be so against abortion were she not religious. I know what it is like to grow up in poverty and be a child to an unprepared religious woman that just had me because she thought she had no choice. None of it is sweet and romantic, it is pretty crap.
What would you do? Would you let someone like this know that abortions or adoption are perfectly acceptable? Or would you only say such things to a friend or family member? Or would you not say anything to anyone? Did I do the wrong thing here?
I agree that it's an awful time and circumstance to have a child, and having been a struggling widow with a toddler, I know how rough it can be. I don't know the entire situation, or how close you are to her, but surely she knows about abortion options? So it seems you would mostly be working to un-indoctrinate her from her religious beliefs, and I'm not sure you have enough time to accomplish that. That said, the thing about "choice" is that each woman gets to choose for herself.
So perhaps your best option is to offer your support no matter what she decides to do going forward (if you feel you can do that), and make it clear that would include your acceptance of her having an abortion.
I have women friends who are abundantly enlightened, but still hold tightly to the anti-abortion stance for themselves. They really seem to believe that a clump of cells is the same as a living human being. Whoever came up with this false "abortion is murder" equivalence hit a jackpot.
The situation with your friend is a difficult one.
A former partner was an alcoholic and the disease ran in her family (an uncle and her father). She would have been a great mother (except for the alcohol) but she decided she did not want to take a chance of making another human go through what she had and decided to not ever have a child. I have heard that during the global depression the US was one of the few countries in which the fertility rate actually went down. The other day I started to watch a series on genes and it showed a couple with one child. They wanted another and when the child was born she had a serious genetic health issue and only survived 18 months. Guess what; the couple tried again and they had another child also with the disease. What the hell is the matter with people????
When we give food to starving people no one considers the simple fact that if the family can't feed themselves why do they keep having kids. Sometimes feeding people actually make matters worse and the suffering is spread even further. Before giving money to food we should all require demand that people practice family planning.
I think it's perfectly acceptable and in her case a very good idea. An abortion of an unwanted fetus is an excellent option.
It hasn't been born! It doesn't even know it exists! Do YOU remember being in the womb? Of. course not.
In my opinion, it's no different than aborting a monkey fetus, or a lamb fetus, or any other fetus.
When abortion first became legal, many women had them without a second thought. It was only after over 50 years of anti-abortion propaganda women now go through such agonizing!
If a child is too expensive, or unwanted for ANY reason, why should it be FORCED on a woman? Abortion should be considered a form of birth control, nothing more, nothing less.
I'm agnostic, and my feeling is any god would either understand completely and have no problem with it, or is impersonal so not even aware of it, Religions believe the 'unborn baby' goes straight to heaven anyway, so in that case the woman is actually doing it a favor!
Urge this woman STRONGLY to terminate the pregnancy and get on with her life.
I don't know whether you did the right thing, as I don't know how her question - or your response - was phrased exactly.
But I see nothing wrong with stating an available option, if done kindly. Is this option indeed available, though? I am told that in some parts of the US, it is extremely difficult to access abortion services.
She's asking for support. In my country she'd get it. I'd explore a lot of other options before presuming to know what's best for a pregnant young woman in your country. But if women only had children when conditions were optimal then only the rich would conceive and our species would be extinct by now.