Hello I am a First Nations Native woman who has not yet told my family of me beliefs now. It has been 1 week now since I have finally realized and accepted the fact that I am an Agnostic and or Atheist, I haven't quite figured it all out yet. Now no one knows this about me and the idea of telling them scares me. I come from a family who follows the Traditional Teachings. They are strict and I just might be the first who is going to step outside the norm. I just hope they don't banish or push me away.

For me, it was pretty rough on a mental and emotional level. It's something I don't know if I'll ever really be able to fully recover from. I've shared the gist of my story a few times on here, but I guess I can share again. Probably more of an abbreviated version though...lol

Well, I was raised in church. I come from a very religious, prideful, and judgmental family. The church environment I was in reinforced all of these things. So to make a long story short and skip ahead, I became a really devout and well known Christian in my community. I'm also a musician/producer and I was touring, recording, and working with some well known gospel artists. So basically, my entire life was wrapped up in religion. My social life, my career, support system, and pretty much everything else. I was raised very sheltered and in a bubble. I was genuinely ignorant about a lot of things in life, but I had a good reputation in the Christian community.

Okay, fast forward to about 10 years ago. At this point in my life, I had considered myself a believer for over 25 years. I always had doubts, but I just pushed them to the back of my brain. But in 2010, I just resigned from being a musical director at a church and needed to take a break. Well, this is when my cognitive dissonance started working in overdrive. I had time to think...away from religious folks. Things just didn't make sense the more I thought about things. I struggled with it for 3 years and finally realized I needed to walk away from it so I could have peace of mind. My self honesty moment was the most humbling thing I've ever had to experience in life, because I had to reject my core beliefs and relearn how to navigate in life again. Needless to say, things have never been the same between me and my family and some friends. I feel like a guest and not family when I'm around them now. But on the flip side, I can't completely relate to other atheists at times due to how I got to where I am. Some atheists that have never been religious can't really relate to why I might have triggers about certain things or why I'm not militant. And then there is also the issue of being a black atheist. It comes with its own complexities given that religion and black people feel synonymous in many black communities. And many of the people in these communities don't know how to interact with non-believers. It definitely causes a strong emotional rift for black atheists in the black community. I feel disconnected from everyone in all honesty. I haven't been able to find my tribe of other black atheists that I can relate to. Mainly locally. I'm married, but my wife is not where I am. I consider her more on an agnostic deist. I consider myself agnostic atheist. She understands and respects that I'm looking for my tribe, but honestly, my soul is tired. I've connected with many other black non believers, but there's a difference in connecting with people and having chemistry with people. And I'm a bit selective about people in my inner circle. It's been a lot to adjust to, but I just take it one day at a time.

No

What do you mean by "realizing your beliefs" and "intersectionality"?

Although my family is mainly religious, I never was put under pressure to become religious. I did some Sunday school, I attended some religious services but only when I was in secondary school I realized religion was not for me. Since then, I don't go to church or any religious activity unless I'm invited by a friend, then I would go but it is a only time occasion.

What is POC and WOC?