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Without self-love, there can be no other kind of love. You won't put yourself “out there” and even if you would, people aren't attracted to those who don't love themselves, so you'll be lonely until you do. ... Is it possible to live without someone who I love more than my life?

Agree or disagree?

Cutiebeauty 9 Aug 2
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10 comments

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1

Agree. People are attracted to people who are happy, confident and take care of themselves, with extra energy to care for others as well.

Can you live without someone you love more than your own life? Yes. The love of that person, even though they are not in your life, for whatever reasons, still leaves you with their ideals you might strive for to enhance your life.

0

"People have too little self love" is largely true about most western societies. Self love includes taking care of one's self, nurturing the self, striving to become a better person, being aware of one's own needs and wants, and gaining appreciation and respect for one's self. After some amount of success in that directionn, a person become more capable of directing love and caring to another person.

But regardless of how much or how little you may love yourself, yes, it is possible to love somebody more than yourself. But with a good healthy measure of self love, you will be MORE capable of loving somebody else, and you may love them more deeply.

0

Very deep ::: having knowledge of who we are is essential
for mental good health & wellbeing ( in my humble opinion ).
In the second part - I have seen & heard of amazing geniuses ( art ; music; writers ; scientists ; ect.) who didn't put themselves on a pedestal , but were adjusted to life and very driven to achieve or excel at what thier passions were.
We need different things AT DIFFERENT STAGES OF LIFE
and there is no / one size fits all . Some human needs are probably with us throughout our lives ; others not so much.
Like a journey ~ we may need some supplies at certain times and not particularly at every step - we could & should know this ( and to our own self & other people be true +clear)
honestly. Self reflection ( and vulnerability ) are sounding boards / litmus TESTS . Society is also changing around us ,
and to learn what is true about how we interact with the world is ( and has to be ) where we grow. I have met monks
who probably didn't measure personal growth this way , yet felt that they were socially adjusted -they had a myopic view
through religion( other issues can cloud a person's views of their reality in life - money; status; age ; race ;culture; location ; ect.) .A full life is in the eyes of the beholder- we all use different yardsticks( and they should be accurate & and up to date ) ,because we are all UNIQUELY ourselves. 💠
Thanks

0

Too many people these days have bought into the notion that somebody and everybody else is responsible for your happiness, and in turn responsible for whatever minery one is dragging around. This only leads to a lifetime of malcontent we are responsible for our own moods and attitudes and have to get those lined out before involving anyone else, least of all to mention is once those are lined out, another person becomes a bonus, not a need.

0

most people do just that

1

I can only say that all excess is bad for you, exactly like food, anything you eat in excess can kill you, so moderation in everything is the most important thing. Evidence, we have a POTUS that loves himself too much and that makes him lack empathy or love for anyone other than him. And also, when you love someone too much, you lose objectivity and could be seen by the object of your love as way too clingy and codependent.

Narcissism is distinctly different from self love. In Trump's case, he has very little self-love, which accounts for his need for approval and affirmations.

1

Of course you can.

I don't know if you're talking about yourself of not and I don't need to know, and I don't wish to be critical of you but I am going to tell you for the sole purpose of trying to be of assistance that I do not believe that someone who loves someone else more than their own life truly loves themselves.

Please feel free to ignore me if you choose, but I am not going to pass up an opportunity to try to help even if it risks your temporary pain.

2
2

In the end you are all you have. We're born alone and we die alone. If you don't love yourself, you have no love at all.

Included in that is, “If you don't love yourself, you have no love to give others.”

@yvilletom Sometimes there's no-one to give it to. In the end you only have yourself.

@barjoe Aw, I don’t believe that.

@yvilletom sometimes

@barjoe

Is it true if you change the pronouns? In the end I have only myself?

You can safely bet that if you agree to that, I’m going to ask, “What happened early in your life that you haven’t yet recovered from?”

I took until I was sixty to recover from what my parents and their culture did. Their ancestors should have borrowed France’s no-longer-used guillotines.

@yvilletom Yes. That would be true about me and you as well. That doesn't mean I don't love other people or have love to give. It means that if you love yourself you have all the love you might need. Don't be an online therapist. People may write something you disagree with. I don't care if you're a clinical psychologist, you can't "safely bet" anything about them based on a social media comment they made. You're entitled to your opinion, I won't try to analyse you I just made a comment on this matter which I thought might give some insight.

@barjoe

Here’s an insight you can either accept or reject.
For years, when I’ve seen the “you” pronoun as often as I’ve seen it here, curiosity has moved me to replace it with “I” or “me” and reread the sentence or paragraph to see any unspoken implications. I’ve done it also with the pronoun “we”.

@yvilletom what's the point? Those who take the general "you" as a personal attack against the general "me" or "I" need to stop taking everything personal. Sometimes I'm not using the term "you" as the general term. I could be talking about "You" sometimes.

@barjoe

I see the general “you” as an evasion, a form of self-protection.

It’s much like the detachment or avoidance stages of post-traumatic stress. My experience tells me that taking it personally makes recovery possible.

@yvilletom It all depends on how "you" take it. I prefer not to walk on eggshells whenever I express myself.

@barjoe Using “you” or “we” are two ways to get off eggshells. I stayed off eggshells for years by saying nothing about me.
‘Tis time for dinner here.

@yvilletom Enjoy your meal. Excuse me. Enjoy the meal.

@barjoe I did, thank you. I live at a veterans home with about 750 mostly male and a few female veterans, some with ‘spice’ = spouses. We get takeout meals in the dining room.
Anyway, cheers to you.

@yvilletom That pretty amazing. You're such a smart man. Thank you for the advice.

@barjoe My mother’s side of the family contributed any ‘smarts’ I have. I heard it in her various remarks, from the humorous (A cat is a self-emptying mousetrap) to the angry (Necessity is the mother of invention and laziness is the father). I collected them for a speech I gave in a Toastmasters club.
As to our chat about the pronoun ‘you’, I noticed years ago that in conversations I and others some people comfortably use ‘I’ but in a final sentence suddenly switch to ‘you’, as if distancing ourselves from what we are saying. I even named it the ‘I-you shift’. Sometimes while reading, I swap pronouns and reread paragraphs. The effect often changes.

1

yes, yet unhappily in some measure.

Sometimes.

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