How did you stop a bad habit? I'm trying to stop hair-twirling.
Since childhood, I have absently twirled locks of hair, and run my hands through my thick, luxurious mane. It feels soothing and delicious.
But hair-twirling is a bad habit that breaks hairs and makes hair fall out.
It's hard to curb because it's unconscious. While reading, I catch myself playing with my hair and think: "Get your hands out of your hair!" This doesn't work.
Achieving things, no matter how small.
This article by Dan Kois is helpful and insightful. In 2020, he finally stopped biting his nails at age 45. He explains how he did it.
Grooming behaviors are particularly hard to curb.
"Nail-biting is a body-focused repetitive behavior, in the same family as hair-pulling, skin-picking, and cheek-chewing. As with all such behaviors, it can be triggered by stress or anxiety but is not necessarily in and of itself a sign of stress of anxiety.
“These are all grooming behaviors in the animal kingdom,” said John Piacentini, professor of psychiatry and director of UCLA’s CARES Center for childhood anxiety. “Grooming behaviors are very, very strong instincts and patterns. We believe that these disorders are grooming instincts that have gone a bit awry.”
"The behavior is particularly hard to curb. “There’s no medication, really,” said Piacentini. “It’s hard to monitor, and hard to prevent. Oftentimes, it’s done automatically. We catch ourselves only after we start it. So even if you are trying to stop, the horse is out of the barn before you realize it.”
12
Enjoy being online again!
Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.Create your free account
17 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.Wear a swim cap when you are reading or not busy. I just got a new Speedo swim cap for swimming and it is very comfortable.
Robert_2001
Level 6
Jan 1, 2021
1
If this is your worst bad habit you are well-positioned for 2021 and beyond.
Though, why do you think this habit is bad? Does it bother you?
Mitch07102
Level 8
Jan 1, 2021
1
Twirling a lock makes the ends break off. Despite feeling soothing, running my hand through my hair makes hairs fall out. (Not that I miss it. My hair is so heavy I don't care if it thins.)
I'm tired of picking up hairs and using a sticky lint roller on the carpet where I read. It's appalling how much hair it picks up.
Plus, I often have lotion on my hands that makes my hair look greasy when I touch it. It's a time-consuming pain to wash and dry thick hair.
I would suggest electro-shock but that might be a bit much under the circumstance
how bad do you want to quit
phoenixone1
Level 8
Dec 31, 2020
1
@Jinx5555555 gave me a great idea.
When I broke my index finger and wrist, the physical therapist gave me a firm foam rectangle to use. It strengthens that hand.
Will use it while reading. Hold the book with one hand and strengthen the other.
@LiterateHiker I don't know...something about that "Bride of Frankenstein" look...that's kind of hot
I am working on this now. My plan is to completely change my circumstances and replace the habits with something better. Maybe you could start twirling a coin in your hands for example.
Jinx5555555
Level 6
Dec 31, 2020
1
Great idea!
When I broke my index finger and wrist, the physical therapist gave me a firm foam rectangle to use. It strengthens that hand. Will use it.
Wear a rubber band around your wrist. Any time you catch yourself doing the bad habit, snap the rubber band.
Deb57
Level 8
Dec 31, 2020
1
Great idea. Thanks.
What follows is merely a suggestion.
Rest your hand on a surface, and put something lightweight, such as a paper napkin, on top of it before you start reading (or whatever else you do that fully absorbs your mind). When your hand moves, the weight of the object may interrupt your flow of thought sufficiently to trigger a change in your attention. If the paper napkin is too light, try something slightly heavier, such as a glove.
Please let me know how you get on - thanks.
anglophone
Level 9
Dec 31, 2020
2
Great idea! Thank you.
As a child dealing with abuse, I developed a bad habit of chewing the inside my mouth. It ended up as an adult causing horrible headaches because of TMJ, the inside would be raw and I would tend to continue to allow abusive behavior. Recognizing the behavior and working on eliminating it consciously can take time. But if you truly work on noting it and stopping, it becomes less with time. I haven't done my bad habit in ten plus years. To continue would have drastically increased my chances of mouth cancer. You've got the start, realize it's a process, and keep working on you. You've got this!
Larimar
Level 8
Dec 31, 2020
1
You have my deep sympathy.
My mother habitually chewed the insides of her mouth. Like you, she had terrible headaches.
Sadly, she lived with critical alcoholics her entire life: her father and husband. After Dad died, she lived with her critical alcoholic boyfriend John for 20 years.
At Mom's request, I threw John out of her house. "You're my only child with the moxie to do it," she said. Took nine hours to pack him up and load a U-Haul truck. John didn't lift a finger.
Each time he started yelling at Mom, I stepped between them with a phone in hand. "John, if you don't stop arguing, I'm calling the police." He backed down.
@LiterateHiker My dad was an alcoholic and many members of my family. I get it.
Easy - for hair - shave it all.
Beowulfsfriend
Level 9
Dec 31, 2020
2
No way am I going to shave my head.
Habit is just learnt behaviour. Even if you catch yourself after you start you are still slowly teaching yourself different. Try setting up a strong reward system for yourself. I stopped my daughter biting her nails by offering to give her $20 for every unbitten nail after a month and losing $50 for each bitten one, for two months overall. At the end of the month she earnt $200 at the end of the next another $200 and she's never bitten her nails since. I've done similar to help with other habits. There is no such thing as willpower, only learning and practice.
Cyklone
Level 7
Dec 31, 2020
1
Good idea.
@LiterateHiker now you just have to think of a good reward system. Try putting $1000 aside that you have to donate to the republicans if you don't stop in 2 months. At the end of the first month take $500 back if you've improved and at the end of the 2nd month take the other $500 back if you've stopped. Carrot and stick in one.
I've got it!
When I catch myself, I will immediately stop reading. Then make myself do a cleaning project before trying again. Haha!
Negative reinforcement for twirling my hair. Positive reinforcement: it makes me feel good to see clean surfaces.
@LiterateHiker Being pedantic, that's punishment, not negative reinforcement, but many people confuse the two 
(negative reinforcement is characterized by taking away an undesirable stimulus). It works, but reward increases the power so consider rewarding yourself at the end of each week you've improved. Perhaps a massage or extra walk.
Willpower. As a former 3 pack a day cig smoker and heavy drinker as well as cocaine user, This is the most effective way.
CuddyCruiser
Level 8
Dec 31, 2020
2
@SeaRay215ex
Congratulations! I'm proud of you.
@LiterateHiker Wasn’t easy I worked on one at a time over a period of 3 years.
a hat.
hankster
Level 9
Dec 31, 2020
3
That's a good idea.
@LiterateHiker very trendy too...a reading hat.
@LiterateHiker yes yes, its coming to me now.....i see a loosly crocheted shower cap of sorts. something made at home.
I was unaware that hair-twirling is considered a bad habit.
KKGator
Level 9
Dec 31, 2020
5
My daughter twirled her hair and then passed it between her lips. She died 16 years ago from cancer at age 42 and I have fond memories of seeing her do that. Now, anytime I see a woman twirling her hair, I immediately think of my daughter and have mental images of her doing that. I will cherish that until I cease to have memories.
Great photo!
ASTRALMAX
Level 8
Dec 31, 2020
2
Thank you!
@LiterateHiker You are welcome
I do not know the answer to your question other than to say that I stopped smoking not by thinking of it as a "bad" or "good" habit but as a stupid habit.
I'm curious and wonder who told you that twirling your hair is a bad habit? I would have asked him or her for a scientific explanation as to why it is considered a "bad" habit to twirl your hair. Perhaps you have gotten into the habit of thinking of it as a "bad" habit..LOL
ASTRALMAX
Level 8
Dec 31, 2020
3
Good idea.
Congratulations! I'm proud of you.
Twirling a lock makes the ends break off. Despite feeling soothing, running my hand through my hair makes hairs fall out. (Not that I miss it. My hair is so heavy I don't care if it thins.)
I'm tired of picking up hairs and using a sticky lint roller on the carpet where I read. It's appalling how much hair it picks up.
Plus, I often have lotion on my hands that makes my hair look greasy when I touch it. It's a time-consuming pain to wash and dry thick hair.
@LiterateHiker Thank You
Probably not the best answer, shave your head? 
IDK
oldFloyd
Level 8
Dec 31, 2020
3
That was my first thought ,keep it that way for 3 months and your habit will be gone,bald can be very beautiful for a woman but you have such a beautiful rich mane of hair ,I think we had better find a nicer waay for you
Enjoy being online again!
Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.Create your free account
Share this post
Related Groups More
Mental Health Support
634 members
Categories
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.