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How to check out an old lover's new love.

"I have to go to the ladies' room," I said.

Anyone who has ever been single knows how to use the restroom to take the measure of an old lover's new love.

In nicer restaurants, there are mirrors over the bar and the plate-glass window facing the street that reflect nearly as well as the mirrors do. Arbitrary room dividers make it possible to stand behind the delphiniums and hide in plain site. One of the large floral arrangements served.

I wanted to see if she was one of my hiking partners. Three weeks after my hiking partner Karen's husband died, Nick drove to her house and pushed romantic moves on her. Karen rejected him. Good.

Nick's companion was small and wiry with enormous blue eyes and a funny fish mouth. He talked, she laughed. In only a few months, he apparently had become hilarious.

I watched the door as I washed my hands. I imagined saying, "Good luck with Nick's lies," if she walked in. Instead I slunk out. Brave in imagination only.

LiterateHiker 9 Mar 29
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10 comments

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3

Never done that myself. My first wife and I have remained good friends and check up on each other some times (usually months apart) whenever we feel the issue is important. Last time I contacted her was to let her know about a FEMA vaccination site in Miami that allowed walk ins 7 days a week. I knew she doesn't follow news because she's way too busy working. I was right and she thanked me for the text. She since our split remarried and so did I. Never interested in researching who her husband is beyond what she told me. A research doctor.

@Mofo1953

My ex-husband Terry and I remained friends, too. I like his girlfriend Sondra.

3

Now that I'm free of my ex-boyfriend, I would only wish any of his new lady loves well. While he was a lying cheat to me, I would like to think he learned some lessons and would treat any new lovers he can attract better.

I wouldn't want to sabbotage his new relationship, for fear he'd come back to me, haha! I'm happy to give my ex the benefit of the doubt, and if he is still up to his lying cheating ways, perhaps his new lady love would be smarter than me and figure him out before getting in too deep. Not my problem anymore, so best to keep out of it.

Now, if he was out with one of the ladies (I use that term loosely) he cheated on me with, well then I would really have to bite my tongue not to say something snarky to her in the restroom. Best to just quietly leave like you did, haha!

3

I guess I really do not understand why you care enough to stalk and spy?

@BufftonBeotch

I wanted to see if I knew her. One of my hiking partners?

Three weeks after my hiking partner Karen's husband died, Nick drove to her house and pushed romantic moves on her. Karen rejected him. Good.

What a creep.

@LiterateHiker That is some serious creepdom........

3

Why would you bother?

@Jolanta

I wanted to see if I knew her. One of my hiking partners?

Three weeks after my hiking partner Karen's husband died, Nick drove to her house and put romantic moves on her. Karen rejected him. Good.

What a creep.

3

Well, I'm sure that the new lover will soon learn what she needs to knows about him and who knows she may soon become another ex-lover. Sure, sometimes men and women want to know why they have been dumped for someone else. It may not be based on any particular problem that arose between two people, although that is often used as an excuse to exit a relationship. Relationships sometimes end for the most shallow of reasons, which, with the wisdom of hindsight you are grateful.

The reason(s) why relationships end are usually fairly self evident. What really needs study is why people remain together throughout their lives. Lets face it many people enter relationships with unrealistic and or unstated expectations which gradually surface in the course of the relationship.

7

It only makes you appear obsessive to the new girlfriend, who has probably already heard you spoken of as the "crazy ex," (even if he is the one who drove you crazy). Best to let her find out on her own. And if he started secretly seeing her before ending it with you, she should already know he's a liar, and whatever he ends up doing to her is well deserved.

Deb57 Level 8 Mar 29, 2021

@Deb57

I never criticize former lovers or my ex-husband publically.

Wenatchee is a small, gossipy town. People eavesdrop.

@LiterateHiker given the town environment, I hope nobody else saw you checking them out.

3

That situation would definitely bring up mixed feelings

2

ever seen the french film Amelie'? not the same but sneaky. Delphiniums sounds like a barbershop quartet.

Great movie. A bit like a wacky and Parisian Ally McBeal.

10

If she has any brains she will find out soon enough. If she doesn't have enough brains then she will get what she deserves. We can't save the world.

7

Good choice no need to degrade yourself

bobwjr Level 10 Mar 29, 2021
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