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Sexuality

Anyone else ever seriously question their sexuality? I've always been very sensitive and emotional stuff has always been very important to me. Because of this lack of 'butchness' I thought that must mean I was gay. Since those college years I've realized that all it meant was I just didn't fit into the gender role norms of our culture. I know that what you do with your genitals isn't the whole picture but I do currently identify as straight. Anyone else want to share?

kmdskit3 8 Nov 30
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14 comments

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1

Just realized how old this post is.

Sexual preference is totally independent of what our society considers manly or womanly. There have been big time male athletes who are gay and big time female athletes who are straight.
I still fall into the trap occasionally, but am very satisfied in my maleness. Sexually? Ah who the hell knows. It's Monday, so anything could happen.

Yeah, it's been awhile but still appreciate the comment!

1

I grew up in a Mormon household, and they have some very strong anti-LGBTQ beliefs. Thus, it was very difficult for me to really question my sexuality and gender openly. I repressed my feelings and attempted to conform to what was expected of me only to wind up severely depressed and suicidal as I started seeking sexual release while still in denial of my "self".

It was my departure from those religious beliefs that finally opened my mind to the possibilities I'd denied myself. When I realized everything I'd been taught was lies, I also came to realize that there was no shame in feeling attracted to whomever I found appealing. No shame in a mutually consentual relationship.

And I found validation in scientific studies showing that both sexuality and gender fall naturally into a spectrum rather than being binary. That there are a multitude of other species exhibiting homosexual behaviors, meaning that this must be an evolutionarily advantageous trait.

So, I did indeed question my sexuality, as well as my gender, finding that I don't fit the "norm". But it was, and in many ways still is, a rough road.

Thanx. Really liked your post!

1

It takes all kinds of folks to make up a world, ones tendencies to be more "male " or "female" in your activities and outlooks has nothing to do with your sexuality. I have always been a strong believer that sexuality; that is your attraction to opposite, same or both sexes is determined before we are born, where as ones outward propensity to behave more what can be seen as male or female is more dependant on nurture rather than nature.
I am a straight male male that is quite masculine in my behaviour and activities but I know gay males that are just as masculine, straight females that are, too, feminine straight males that are constantly being confused for being gay and lesbian couples where both are very feminine. So I am not sure what you mean by "Normal".

Social and cultural norms.

2

I've long wished I could be a lesbian as for me anyway there seems to be gender language barrier but I am not wired that way although I have had brief flirtations with women another lifetime ago.
Think that was maybe for the wrong reasons though, ego. It was fun to be hit on by pretty girls.
Maybe I just never met the right female who knows. Very straight otherwise, just the "lost in translation" thing with men has long been an issue for me.

Usually been able to communicate well with women but I know exactly what you're talking about.

1

Over 20 years ago I had worked for Together a heterosexual introduction service. I had just had a baby at 42 and was concerned how the company discriminated vs anyone who wasn't white, men in their 20s, people of India, anyone in a wheelchair and anyone who was gay, bisexual and transgendered. My sister in law and I decided to start an all inclusive social intro service and a funny thing happened-my first client was disabled and gay. Rainbow Circle of Friends was born. To make a long story short-my partner bowed out after a year and I networked and was welcome by the LGBT community. When I had personal problems 2years later I gave the business away to twoguys who did interviews for me.Spending so much time with Lesbians at social outings I did question my sexuality but never acted on it.

When younger I was the opposite of the straight woman with the gay male friend. I had a lot of lesbian friends. A bit of a cop out but at a time I was really confused sexually I liked being friends with women where sex probably wasn't going to happen.

1

Yes, well this requires a new perspective with the arrival of same sex marriage, gender fluidity etc. I grew up around my grandmother who was an independent woman without banging on about it, absolutely selfless, my mother who was an intrepid and stoic person and extraordinarily generous, and 2 sisters, both of whom are talented in their own way, 'pettycoat junction' you might say. I am sure I have got a bit of girl in me but I don't see that as a bad thing. As I age, I can hear mates saying 'we turn into our fathers', yes, doubtless, but I know that I carry much of the matriarch thing as well, and I feel no doubt or guilt about that.

1

I am bi, bordering on pansexual. I find sometimes unexpected attractions to a remarkably diverse group of people. Certainly doesn't mean I act on all these - just that I recognize the "pull" and can appreciate much beyond the norm. And I'm just fine with it !

1

I hate macho bullshit and im straight

4

I'm bisexual. I came out as being bi 3 months ago.

Thanks.

Came out to your family? How did that go? Other than the obvious how do you personally define 'bi'?

It went well. My boss is a lesbian. I think she has had a crush on me since I first started working with her. I like her back. She calls me her little sister. We're going out to eat for pancakes when she gets back from vacation. She wants us to get tattoos together. So I define bi as having a personal connection with both men and women.

2

It's a spectrum and it can change in time. Look in to the Kinsey scale theory.

Vico Level 5 Nov 30, 2017

Yeah, I definitely agree with that. I could see myself being with a man but it would have to be extremely special and yet with women I'm not that picky. I guess in a weird inverse way this explains my 'straightness'. Does that make sense to anyone else?

2

I've considered briefly the idea that I could be bisexual; I've never doubted that I'm attracted to women, but I went through a phase where I wondered how I felt about men.

Eventually, I figured out that I'm straight.

0

I remember the time I told my granddaughter that never in my wildest dreams had I ever imagined I'd be schooling my granddaughter in how to seduce women.

1

I've not personally, but have close friends that have had questions about their sexuality. All I can say is that, thank god 😉, I live in a society that is more accepting. I'm still somewhat-bemused as to why society (which is often driven by religion) is so obsessed with sex.

To be really honest, since I am an old fart, it has taken a while for me to shed the prejudices that I grew up with, and have a fantastic relationship with my best friend's daughter, who came out as gay just last month. I've known about her orientation for at least 2 years and I love her to bits. Follow your heart is the only advice I can give; I just happened to end up with someone of the opposite sex.

4

I had to come to terms with being straight, but not being able to throw a football for shit. Luckily when I was growing up, the hippy movement and flower power gave guys like me a medium for expression. Jocks called me fag, and fags called me jock. I always prefered girls sexually, so for me, that was my ultimate litmus test.

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