Do people use you and ask you for money?
Do people use you and ask you for money? A few crew members I work with have been plucky enough to ask me before payday for money. I'm on disabilty and get minimum wage. They all do 30+ hours a week. I am allowed 88 hours a month only. I can't exceed that or I lose my disabilty. I count my hours. I only do 20-24 hours a week at the maximum. This one woman, has 2 jobs, works 30+ hours at our store, and has been plucky enough, twice, to ask me before payday for money. She never talks to me unless she needs something. A lot of the crew buy a meal at break with the discount, 50% off. If they started bringing food from home, like I do, and not buying fast food, they would not be broke. Yes, my bills are always paid by disability money. I save and don't eat fast food. They all make more money than me, but I always have money a day before payday. I'm never broke. But I'm not an ATM. People use me because I'm benevolent. But I'm not stupid. I have never asked anyone here for anything.
Do people use you for money?
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.No one can "use" you without your consent.
It seems you're getting something out of the arrangement - a feeling of superiority perhaps ?
evergreen
Level 8
Dec 6, 2017
0
No, I'm not. You're wrong.
we never continue a behavior without some kind of payback - even if it's negative
You seem to be making the distinction between the deserving and the undeserving poor. You feel that helping the undeserving poor at their request is like being abused. Could you be right?
Was there something in the Bible about God helping those who help themselves? Was this problem around thousands of years ago and we still have it?
Treasurehunter
Level 6
Dec 4, 2017
0
Always using people for money is not helping the poor. I'm specifically talking about a crew member. She only talks to me to ask for money. What are you referring to?
I don't lend, borrow, or steal. Those are my rules for me. The last time I lent money out to crew, I was never paid back. I learn from my mistakes. She has more hours here at this store than me. She makes more. As well as having 2 jobs.
You have discovered one of the rules for maintaining a friendship or relationship,"Never lend money or tools to a friend"? A breach of that trust to return the items sours relationships. I have learnt to give what you are willing to without expecting anything back.
You were referring to more than one person asking you for money and refer to co-workers frequently eating fast food resulting in less money available for their needs.
She may be poor and needed some help. But if she asked for a loan, she should have paid you back and she abused your trust. As you pointed out she may have learnt to lessen her expenses by not eating so much fast food, she may not be helping herself. An example of the "undeserving poor", who do not help themselves? Rather than learning and helping themselves out of troubles they become a persistent drain on others.
The reference to the Bible was just a way of saying that this phenomena has probably been around a very long time.
You have a kind persona about you. Your what others would say, an easy target. Just give what you can if that's what you feel you should do. Or simple say you don't have it. Do what your heart tells you. I should be a millionaire by now. Im not . I made those complicated moves in life that stopped me. Decide the path you want to take. Go for it. Find a financial advisor and discuss your future or you'll be hopelessly poor at retirement.
BucketlistBob
Level 8
Dec 2, 2017
1
Yeah, I do have more money than everyone, but I'm taken advantage of for my benevolence. I do say, "No" the co-workers. They all make more money than me.
they have and they do try from everywhere. where there's an opportunity there's an opportunist.
LeighShelton
Level 8
Dec 2, 2017
1
Yep.
No, the only time people ask me for money are those rare occasions when they have a credit card but a store accepts cash only, or similar situations. If I were asked by coworkers for money on a regular basis, I think I'd start telling them that I'm on a tight budget and can't afford to alter my financial plan. They aren't entitled to it, and I get to decide how best to put it to use — and how much, if any, I want to lend or donate.
resserts
Level 8
Dec 2, 2017
1
I don't lend out money.
I used to have that problem, too, but not anymore. People know better now. They probably did that because you're a freat person; something that they will never be as they take advantage of the kindness of other people's heart.
EmeraldJewel
Level 7
Dec 2, 2017
1
I say, No every time though.
Thank you.
Back when I was single and didn't have a child then yes people used me all the time for money. People pray on the fact that you are a good person and they are not.
My advice is to stop giving the money and start being more cynical towards them. The cynicism will come across to them as anger but it'll make the point that you're not a bank
Rragnaar
Level 4
Dec 1, 2017
1
I don't give anyone money.
We can't help everybody. so we have to make choices. When I was young, I was an easy mark, but I learned to say, "I'm sorry, but I can't help you." That is hard to do, but sometimes we need to think of ourselves first.
wordywalt
Level 9
Dec 1, 2017
1
Yes.
No, but I have a great excuse not to lend money...I don't have it. 
Paul628
Level 8
Dec 1, 2017
2
Thanks.
No. They don't ask because they know I'm probably even more broke than they are.
webbew1
Level 7
Dec 1, 2017
2
Lol.
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