Today's hike: "Don't look!"
Karen and I hiked over five miles in the mountains. It was a beautiful, chilly day.
Next time I'll bring mittens.
"It's so peaceful and quiet here today," I said. "We haven't seen any people."
"I have a surprise for you," Karen said when we stopped for a snack. She handed me a scrumptious, maple cream-filled sandwich cookie from Trader Joe's.
"I love how these cookies are in the shape of a maple leaf," I said. "The Michigan kid in me is thrilled! In Upper Michigan, they make maple sugar candy shaped like a maple leaf."
While "visiting the bushes," we were surprised by a handsome man on a bicycle. Mountain bicycles are extremely quiet. They zoom upon us fast. It's startling for us and them. Luckily, Karen and I were zipping up our pants when the man appeared.
Women have various styles. I wave my butt in the air. Before you judge, doctors say I have a "tipped" uterus and urethra. This makes childbirth and peeing in the woods interesting.
My sterling advice: Check the wind direction and don't stumble into thorny bushes.
"So much for being alone in the woods," Karen said dryly after he left. We laughed.
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8 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.Mine was tipped when I had it.....but the plumbing has been gone here for 15 years so........LOL
Larimar
Level 8
Oct 12, 2021
1
Sorry to hear that, dear. Hope you feel good.
@LiterateHiker Familial history of ovarian cancer. Better removed then letting it go cancerous. I still keep checks.
I love those maple filled cookies. You could try wearing a kilt so you would never need to pull your pants down.
Robert_2001
Level 6
Oct 12, 2021
1
I never hike in a skirt. Windy. Attacking black flies and mosquitos. Sun exposure is aging and causes skin cancer. Need my body covered.
See my reply to @EarnestEccentric below.
It's so much easier for males.
I'm sure there are hazards of outdoor peeing. One would be in getting caught. I find it strange today that so many people now claim you are contaminating the ground and maybe should be arrested. OMG! In my youth everyone peed outdoors. Even with an outdoor toilet you ended up peeing on the ground. I was a kid in St. Louis and our apartments still had outdoor toilets. The modern flush toilets had just been installed but you could still use both of them.
DenoPenno
Level 9
Oct 11, 2021
1
It cracks me up around here ( middle of nowhere in the Ozarks) all the new city folk transplants throwing fits about folks and dogs peeing in the woods, when they have yet to figure out they are surrounded by coyotes deer , elk, , bears, bobcats, mountain lions feral hogs, you name it who are regularly relieving themselves everywhere.
You take the wild berries and fungi out of the woods to eat, so you should put something back.
As an ESL elementary teacher I brought my backpack to class. They could speak English, but it was their second language. As I unloaded the pack I identified each item and what it was for. Just an English acquisition exercise. When I pulled out a plastic bag with toilet paper and trowel I was going to skip it, but someone asked. I told them when you are backpacking there are no restrooms. So you dig a hole and………. OH GROSS. MUY MALO
Sierra4
Level 8
Oct 11, 2021
3
Have you considered a Women's Urination Device? Personally I haven't tried one, or needed one, I rarely get out of the city or away from civilized amenities. I did my share of peeing in the woods when I was active duty, I hated field exercises, and only partly for that reason. I don't remember why, but a few years ago I learned about aids for women to relieve themselves outdoors or standing. [backpacker.com]
HippieChick58
Level 9
Oct 11, 2021
2
In 2020, Karen field-tested three women's standing urination devices. It was laughable.
ALL made the channel too narrow. Urine overflowed onto her pants. Karen tried to make the plastic channels wider. Didn't work.
Karen gave up on the darn things. It wouldn't work for me.
, I’ll know why…
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