Looking only at the positives is dangerous. Take buying a car, wow it looks great, shiny, fast, nice posi-traction rear end, bright headlights, clean interior. Ignore All those boring traits like a well maintained engine, low miles, and good gas mileage and you might end up with a lemon.

Checklist no. But I have learned that there is requirements that vary depending on the person.

Yes, but just like once I'm at the grocery store, I'll come back with a bunch of things not on my list, and often forget several things I needed to buy.

Nope. Sometimes think I should have some minimums, such as being employed, but I tend to roll with things. Sometimes it goes poorly, other times very well.

No, I don't do grocery list. I don't mail order either.

No check list, here.

Agreed. It's not about "ticking" all the boxes. Sometimes, it's about checking as many as possibe, other times it's something more intanglible. I personally believe after trying to date for 5 years (unsuccessfully), it's more about knowing what you DON'T want more than what you DO want. A somewhat subtle yet important distinction.

My checklist is based on learning about what I want and need in a partner as well a what I simply can't tolerate in an intimate relationship. I know that the list isn't everything, but it is so much better for me than just following my feelings (because attention feels great and can overrun reason way to fast at times). Ruling out meeting people who want very different things keeps me from being disappointed and disappointing someone else in terms of values and major life goals (kids, religion, politics, money, sex, etc.)

Yup. Still do. And some check marks are more heavily weighted.

I think conceding ideals and expectations is a part of being in a relationship. No ones a perfect match let alone the odds of someone being everything you’ve ever wanted only creates a situation for them to disappoint you . Instead embracing the faults , like they were your own. Understand that we are human , and we will rarely be a perfect checklist ourselves.

NEVER I divorced my ex after 40 years of marriage, Why would I ever want another one?

For anyone I'm going to let close... I only care who you voted for in 2016 primary & general. And yes I do ask. (I have cancer so if you didn't support me then, you don't need me in your life ever. I will admit, sad but true.)

I have two lists. One is red flags, the other is what I want. Obviously I’m not gonna give up my red flags list on a dating site. My what I want list is getting smaller and smaller all the time. The one constant that remains is a man’s ability to finish this poem. “Even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers by night.” It’s that simple. It’s really not about religion. So don’t get scared. Don’t Google it! lol Generally I know if he knows the poem he’s probably my kind a guy. It’s a start anyway.

I met my wife over 20 years ago in a role-playing text based MUD (called Dragonrealms.) We've been happily married all this time (6 sons later) DESPITE our massive differences (she's christian, I'm not. She's Republican, I'm Democrat or Independent (more left leaning). She's sloppy, I'm OCD clean, but somehow we make it work. I think trying to get that "perfect" mate is how you end up alone. Accepting the other person for who they are and making small changes (if you can) through the years is more than enough imho. If the other person respects you and loves you, they'll make changes in those areas that most bother you.

Checklist sounds like a lot of work. If we click, then we go from there. You’d be surprised how much doesn’t matter when you enjoy someone’s company.

I always kind of worried about the whole 'missing an opportunity by looking too hard in one specific direction' and some of my more fulfilling relationships have been with people who were completely off-book. I never really tried to do the whole checklist thing until well into my 20s, and even that was relatively open-ended. That said I've also always spent a lot of time over analyzing compatibility with people I considered potential prospects.