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On this day December 18th fifteen years ago, my father passed away after experiencing a sudden heart attack a few days earlier while at work. Seems almost like yesterday, I recall the events of that day quite vividly. His death marked a turning point in my own life, started to question my faith at the time. I stood by and watched my mother pray to her god shortly after hearing the news that my father was strickin, but no amount of prayer could keep him from dying and in the end the inevitable happened, regardless of my mother trying to rationalize her prayers going unanswered. Small wonder why I loathe this time of the year. Not the first time unfortunately bad things have happened to me this time of year, oddly enough last year on Dec 18th I experienced a severe low blood sugar regarding my diabetes, in which could have been fatal had I been by myself like I usually are day to day whilst at home.

Moral of the story, nothing fails like prayer.

SpikeTalon 9 Dec 18
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9 comments

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1

I feel you, I lost my adopted mom 5 years ago. She was a mega-Christian and I had left the church long ago.

The shit that happens to me from fall until winter every year is downright scary. I dread these stupid holidays so much.

Oh sweet, just found my pet, dead on the floor. I don’t want to steal your thread, but this is exactly what I meant.

1

For some reason I'm trying to emoji hug on this post but it's not letting me. So here's a virtual hug, πŸ€—

Sorry for your loss! Hope you and your mom spend a nice day together and remember your dad.

Thank you Michelle, much appreciated.

@SpikeTalon You're welcome Spike!

1

Most mourn another's death simply because they have been indoctrinated to or fail to recognise is that they failed to accomplish everything that they wanted to with that other person.
In the latter cases I hope that the lesson of carpe diem is learnt!

4

It’s a good day to bring or send flowers to mom , have a cup of coffee w her or virtual one if distance an issue . My sister and I have a whole party every yr at dads death day . It’s a face time party , and we end up laughing remembering and quoting all dads β€œ great moments β€œ and silly moments .
If your mom wants to pray today , let her pray . Who cares . Is not recovering your loss or hers , and it will work on your nerves . But . The dead doesn’t care , and u are strong enough to smile at her .

Went over to see mother this morning, was okay, these days whenever someone talks about praying in goes in one ear and out the other.

1

What would your faith be like today do you suppose had your father survived?

Non-existant still, based on multiple other reasons. That one got me thinking deeper was all, but had he lived on there surely would have been something else that made me question my beliefs.

@SpikeTalon
I had a similar situation is why I asked. My father had a heart attack and I took pascals wager and prayed with my mom and anyone else. He got better. But that didn't really move the needle much for me.

Like you, too many other events form my opinion. Such that even if I were generous and claim that my prayer was the reason my dad got better, that is still only one more personal data point in support of gods to be weighted against sal others in opposition.

@TheMiddleWay Life is a mixture of both positive and negative experiences, and some things will be regardless of how someone may pray for a specific desired outcome. Glad to hear your father got better.

@SpikeTalon
Sorry to hear yours didn't.
Were you guys close?

@TheMiddleWay I'm an only child, and yes we were close.

3

I am sorry to hear . Many sad stories, quite opposite of the general festiveness, come out this time of year. I have no advice, but just that I listen.

I was at C store the other day, buying cup of coffee. I asked the cashier "How ya doing?" She said "It's hard this time of year". IDK why, did'nt ask. Many are affected. (Yet she's the one who decorated the store).

Death among other things does not take a holiday or go on vacation. It's 24/7/365. Yes, prayer does not change that.

twill Level 7 Dec 18, 2021
3

Sorry for your loss my condolences. Sadly, Life teaches and reminds some stuff in a painful way and it's inevitable. I'm glad you had open eyes.
It's tough but sometimes we just can say " C'est la vie "...

Diaco Level 7 Dec 18, 2021

Indeed, such is life.

4

Thanks for sharing your story. It's a good reminder for those lucky enough not to have suffered a loss that the holidays can be hard for some.

Yes, prayer does not seem to have a very good success rate. Better results can come from learning from the sad and harsh events, perhaps taking better care of our own health, and practicing extreme safety in all ways, especially this time of year. In taking care of ourselves, we are sparing our loved ones from a similar fate of losing us during the holidays.

I have a super hard time this time of year for a variety of reasons, so I'm prone to self destructive behavior in addition to over eating, over drinking, and generally secluding myself like a hermit until the holidays are over.

This year, I'm trying to be proactive in heading off my annual depression, by concentrating on starting my usual New Year's health kick a month early. Even if I only succeed on that every other day, I'm better off this year than most years in my past.

Sudden deaths are hard, and while some people turn to prayer for solace, I took to embracing the reality and what I could do to fill the holes in my heart with fond memories and taking time to enjoy some of the pastimes of those are gone, as a way to hold them in my heart a bit longer. (Certain music, specific places, smells, hikes, activities, etc., can create a feeling of closeness to those who are gone.)

Talking about it and sharing stories with others who knew your dad might help. Writing here can be therapeutic, and there are many of us who feel similarly, and want to help those in same situation as us, even though we might not always respond to every post.

5

Sorry for your lose, I too have found that most of the loses in my life occurred at around this time of year.
Fate dose not respect religious holidays either.

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