Ladies, what are your biggest hurdles when meeting and connecting with men?
This was asked the other day of men and not sure if this has been asked yet but I would love to hear a woman's perspective on this topic and dating in general.
5
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18 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.Location. Men my age seem to be stuck in the 10 mile dating radius. Somehow I become geographically undesirable. Also I am not yet retired and a lot of men my age are and they want a retired woman. Now here is what I found to be weird about that. I asked 2 different men if that meant they wanted to spend more time with me if I was retired and both said that it was more about me being available when they wanted me to be. So yeah, I probably dodged a bullet on both of those scenarios. And I haven't even mentioned the dog thing
AmelieMatisse
Level 8
Apr 26, 2018
0
A womans biggest hirdles are the same as a mans, themselves and unrealistic expectations
Reaver85
Level 6
Apr 23, 2018
0
Mansplain much?
@SurvivorSteph nope, just a fact
@Reaver85 the point is: you don't get to answer for us.
I don't have kids and prefer to date men without kids. Finding a guy close to my age who doesn't have children is challenging.
RealmOfReality
Level 5
Apr 23, 2018
3
I have that exact same issue with meeting women! I don't mind kids but I'm trying to not jump into those types of situations unless it's going to last
Finding single, intelligent, funny, thoughtful, introspective, godless, outgoing, emotionally stable and available, attractive middle aged men is the first hurdle.
I think if I could jump that one, I'd probably be in good shape. ?
Nottheonlyone
Level 7
Apr 23, 2018
3
The probability to win the lottery is such a small number and yet someone wins everytime.... I am saying that no matter what, there is always a possibility
The good news is, I don't have to win. I'm pretty happy without a significant other. Self-sufficient, creative, and joyful, for the most part. I am my own cake, and I don't need icing. Although icing is nice.
Look no further?......well except gor 2,3,4 and 10 on your list
@Reaver85 Don't feel bad, I don't think there's anyone who has it all. ?
For me being middle aged and still youthful, I find that the men that I find attractive are not attracted to me or the men that are attracted to me I'm not attracted to. I have also experienced that online dating is pretty much a glorified buffet. It seems men can't settle for just one woman, they are too afraid that they are going to miss out on trying a new dish on the buffet....??
Stephanie1961
Level 5
Apr 23, 2018
3
Usually my lack of sexual desire...that and I'm a workaholic recluse with a plethora of health and economical concerns
Makes the dating pool pretty slim
LadyAlyxandrea
Level 8
Apr 23, 2018
3
Also my standards are ridiculously out of my league
There is no such thing as 'out of your league', you are simply reducing your 'pool' of possible partners, thats your choice. We all do it to some extent, in small or large ways.
Let's see, I've been seeing the same guy for 13 years now. He had decided about 3 years ago to date other women as well because I never commited enough to him. Now that I'm ready, he's not. MY hurdle at the moment, is trying to find someone to spend time with ( that I like of course ) that can help me to let go of what's NOT working for me. I trust too much which is dangerous, and I am way too picky. I am stuck and not comfortable in my own head. ( You know ? Those circular thoughts that won't go away !!! ) So, THIS is MY hurdle that I am trying to get over 
It's very exhausting !
flowerchild62
Level 6
Apr 23, 2018
4
Everyone has the potential to have positive qualities, be happy with yours and find someone who likes you for who you are. Standards are nothing to be ashamed of, I for example can't stand stupid people, its not something I can control I just want to have a decent conversation with the person I entrust my time with.
The feeling of needing to wash off all the Sleeze & slime from getting creeped on by #PervyTrolls. It's simply unattractive to be crass & disrespectful when trying to approach someone on a dating level.
Then there's the whole determining if the match is good on both sides for a potential relationship.
And I suppose there are many other issues that could arise.
Emme
Level 7
Apr 23, 2018
2
The over confident guys who come on really strong, because they are used to getting turned down, are not worth our time. The shy thoughtful guys are too reserved to even hint they might be attracted, so unless a woman makes the first move it's not going to happen, at least with a shy reserved girl like me.
I really can't comment on online dating, as I haven't had much luck with that. Where I live is aptly called "Monk Island" as there are a lot of single people, happy to just remain solitary. I guess I've grown to be that way too.
Julie808
Level 8
Apr 22, 2018
4
What might cause a man to be highly equipped, but not want to date or anything like that?
Small island, few prospects for dating and everyone seems to be related, not necessarily by blood, but relationships, or other. The few guys I've dated here, all dated the same women previously. There are so few events for socializing, that it's impossible not to run into an ex, a friend's ex or an ex's ex, because everyone goes. Everyone talks, so relationships are secret, which leads to people not knowing who is "taken" and who is not. Anyway, it's just easier to remain solitary.
Men that are geographically incorrect, mostly.
KnowThyself
Level 5
Apr 22, 2018
4
Trusting them. I've been pursued by married men and I was married to someone who turned out to be a narcissist (lying, cheating, basically the worst). So, yeah. It's incredibly hard to know when to believe someone who is looking for a way into bed with you.
Helga
Level 4
Apr 22, 2018
4
From personal experience guys I've run into want:
Sex without any strings...just sex. No dating, no friendship, just sex.
They say they want an "smart, independent woman" but then complain I'm "too busy" or "have no time" for them. What they want is an independently wealthy woman with no job & no interest, who can sit around, looking pretty, laugh at their jokes, tell the guy how great/smart/handsome...generally a nodding ego stroke in a skirt.
SallyInStitches
Level 7
Apr 22, 2018
17
Yeah one of my hurdles is getting ignored because guys do that so you ladies are understandably cautious.
@MikeMike I stay open to online conversation & it doesn't take long for it to either grow interesting or for the subject matter to veer right into his pants. If it takes that hard right to the zipper, I leave the conversation.
If online convo goes well & things are good , i will offer my cell # & things can progress to a meeting in a very safe, public place, with books & coffee...that way if he's a no show (yes, thats happened more than once) the night is not a total loss.
Yup, more and more men and even women (bis, lesbians) just want to have a wham-bam-thank-you-maam relating. Then porn just sucks the life force out of them. Now cell phones and video games is dominating the culture. We've become the most publicly isolated civilization-- out and about, but never interacting. Go to a coffee shop and it's just everyone's heads bowed down staring and surfing on their laptops or cellphones. Then men my age wants eye-candy of a airheaded 19 or 20 years olds to stroke their egos. It's a never ending hurdle of trying to really RELATE with people.
Not getting any responses from men in my area. I get scammers who I've never met in person, but they love me, and then they have trouble and ask for money because they have no one else to ask. Aside from that, generally, I'm a liberal atheist in a conservative fairly religious state. I'm not slim, and I'm not 25. Or I'm meeting guys that want a sugar mama. And I'm not willing to relocate and not willing to do long distance.
HippieChick58
Level 9
Apr 22, 2018
5
Same exact experience, unfortunately. Yes, after relocating 7 different states in my lifetime. I ain't moving out of state again (until I retire that is). I've done enough of bending backwards for people. I once met an Native American Indian woman and we had a conversation about meeting people halfway to have a successful relationship. She scoffed at me and asked why do you white people say that? You should be 100% and the person of interest be 100% and meet 100% of the way. That struck a nerve to me and stuck with me ever since.
I'm out of the game, so this is a window on my past:
What hurdles? I got a sense of a guy that interested me, I approached him. Batting 1000. (Retired strong.)
stinkeye_a
Level 8
Apr 22, 2018
5
@Stevil I'm honestly perplexed as to why these answers of mine get such traction. I mean, is it that odd for women to approach men?? And if so, why on Earth...? I'm obviously missing something. I just can't fathom what all the fuss is about. Man or woman--you fancy someone, you swing. If you strike out, who cares? There's no "three strikes" in dating; you can swing as much as you want. The only guarantee is if you don't swing, you're never getting on base. 
. I don't see why anyone has to be embarrassed about taking a chance or being turned down, or why it has to be different for men and women. Guess I'm just thick...
Most only want sex. They aren’t interested in actually dating, just one and done. I love sex but I want to explore it in an actual relationship.
Marcie1974
Level 8
Apr 22, 2018
13
You need to find a asexual man.
@buzz13y ex became asexual. He never wanted sex. I just want a guy who is willing to go on a couple dates before he tries to get in my pants and doesn’t disappear after I put out.
@buzz13 Couldn't even find an asexual man online.... done that, no luck there.
Enjoy being online again!
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