I guess I've never been much of a socializer. I am an ambivert. I'm introverted and extroverted at the same time. Part of my depression comes from being left alone, and that I don't have very many friends. I've never had but a few friend to hang out with in high school. Even then, I preferred to sit at home in my room and read or draw pictures. As a young adult, I entered into group homes and now a facility for adults. I find it very stressful to be around a lot of people. Especially at work. I can only work for 7 hrs and then I want to go home and be left alone. I hide in my room a lot. I avoid big events and crowds. That is why I am not in a local atheists' group. I find it easier to be social on social media. I'm being social, but I'm sitting in my room most of the time.

When I'm bored and when I have nothing to do, (like this last weekend, right now, and for 2 more days) I get depressed. I had applied for a job to help kill my boredom. Also to keep me out of the psych ward. It has worked for 2.5 years now. Since my boss messed up my schedule for this week, I have 2 more days off. I'm depressed and completely bored with myself. I think I'm over-analyzing again. I called my boss and she said to come in Thursday and to take these days off. She said we have more people now. Does that mean hours will be cut for all the crew members, and we all share hours? Or is she cutting mine, because I'm now redundant? I had wrote in her calendar for Tuesday off. She didn't see it. She didn't have any pens on her desk, so I used a pink highlighter. I checked on Friday, she crossed the week out, meaning she made the schedule already. I KNOW I am over-thinking, but I hope I'm not let go?

Maybe I need to go eat dinner, and come back when I'm full and thinking rationally?

I feel like I have arthritis. My hands ache sometimes. I heard it is a symptom of a GERD med. I hope the specialist calls me soon!