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What do you think of separate rooms for couples?

I just thought of this after answering another question on pets, sleeping,and relationships.
If I were to ever live with someone again I would definitely have separate rooms. In my last marriage I used to sneak off to the extra bedroom all the time. I always slept better alone with my animals.

Kriptikos 6 Apr 25
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40 comments

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1

I like it. You each have your space to decorate to suit you, and a place to retreat to when needed. I am a restless sleeper and that makes it hard for me to relax when sharing a bed knowing l might be disturbing the other person.

11

Seperate houses in seperate counties.

✓✓

8

If one person is a snorer (raises hand), I understand and support sleeping in a separate bedroom.

"How can someone so small make so much noise?" a former boyfriend asked. "I have a very crowded mouth," I replied. He laughed. "That wasn't a problem when you...."

7

My ex-wife's bedroom is 10 miles away. That works out just fine.

My ex-wife's bedroom is 1254.3 miles away (according to Google) Personally, I think it's still too close. 😉

7

I always thought it normal for a couple who live together to sleep together in the same bed. But as I've grown older (and wiser), I now think it is better to sleep in separate rooms. Having one's own space in a relationship where you live together is important. Snoring, tossing and turning, gas, pets, getting up multiple times in the night, stealing covers, hogging the bed....nope, nope, nope. I relish my rest!!

Yes, that’s exactly what I was thinking.

4

You know, when I was younger, I used to think it was an awful idea, separate bedrooms. Now in my old age, I believe it isn't a bad concept. The thought of "visiting" someone in their room, and deciding to stay or go ( da da da da da da da da!!) is kind of interesting. Also, if your partner is the snoring type, a second bedroom isn't a bad thing.

4

I think it's nice to have the option..... Feel like cuddling go ahead... Feel like gassy or what not, go to the other room....no harm done ?

4

I've been in and out of a lot of older peoples' homes and for married couples, in my totally subjective survey, separate beds is the norm.
I just follow Lennon's 'whatever gets you through the night' approach.

3

Perfection ! You can always "visit" ...

3

Whatever they want

What would be ideal for you @btroje?

@BlueWave depends on how the other sleeps

@btroje Hmmmnnnn....What if the other says it’s up to you? What is your preference?

@BlueWave honestly its been so long i don't know anymore. i used to like to share a bed

@btroje Yeah, I like both. Would want to have the option I think. My ex worked rotating shifts and it could be disruptive for both of us when we were opposite. Plus snoring. ?

3

We've separate bedrooms. Snoring, more frequent night time bathroom visits. Somewhat different sleep patterns, pets (as you pointed out) led us to acknowledge the fact that we both just sleep better alone. It's got nothing to do with love or intimacy. Just growing older.

3

My husband and i have had separate bedrooms for the past 10 years. It works for us.

3

There's nothing better than waking up in the morning next to the person you love.

3

Hey whatever works for you booboo

2

I was married for 24 years before becoming a widow last year. We started out with separate blankets, then had separate beds for over 15 years, then separate bedrooms. It was a relief. I was so glad to have my own bedroom. I hope to keep it this way.

sjjr Level 4 Apr 26, 2018

First blankets, then beds then bedrooms, then separated by life, maybe it wasn't meant to be.

@Hitchens I suppose profanity is not allowed on this site, so I regret being unable to complete my reply to you with accuracy. It's none of your freaking business, but my husband had CTE and most brain injury patients with CTE take their own lives. I don't want anyone to touch me when I sleep, and that's why we always had separate blankets. We both snored, that's why we had separate rooms.

Educate yourself before passing your sick, twisted, disgusting judgment on people you have never even met or encountered before in your entire life.

Here is some information on CTE and suicide. [ncbi.nlm.nih.gov]

2

I think it is a great idea if it works for both people. Every situatioin is different and I don't think there is a 'one size fits all' approach

2

It works for many. My paternal grandparents had separate bedrooms and they loved each other very much.

2

Lots of reasons to have separate rooms.
Both wives snored like Mack trucks.
Yeah. I had my own room.
Sleep deprivation isn't good.

2

Well when my fiance and I move back in together we'll basically have separate bedrooms. I work nights, he works days.

I bet a lot of people here is wondering, but how do you??????..... (no need to comment, I am just thinking out loud) ?

@IamNobody how do I what?

@MamaMOB if you work nights and your other half days, how do you two get together?.... I know, non of my business.... I have a peculiar inquiry type of mind, I mean no harm

@IamNobody oh no that's fine. We just find time. An hour or 2 here a late night on his or my day off there. It's not easy but it's worth it.

@MamaMOB oky doky, thanks and one last time... sooooorry ?

2

someone snores . . .
Someone is a heat pump and toasts the other . . .
Someone has a harsh schedule (like a surgeon)
or some other reason

I expect humans have reasons, even if they are poor.

2

It's totally the best. My parents had seperated rooms, and I intend to as well. I have a queen size bed and I'll never be able to sleep next to someone again now that I can sprawl out

2

I'd probably do the same thing, or, at least seperate beds. I sleep much better alone, and I radiate so much heat when I sleep that my partner would most likely agree to it.

OK, that is different. I am the one who radiates the heat. I was beginning to think it is a male thing. Women don't want to sleep with me in summer, but they certainly want to sit next to me down the beach at night in winter.

@Rugglesby I'm a bit of an anomaly, it seems, as all the women I've shared sleeping space with have the expected drop in temperature. I've had two sleep studies for my narcolepsy and while the increase in temperature was noted, there didn't seem to be any underlying cause, at least not one to worry about. But body temperature and I are not on the best of terms--I always run really warm, and even warmer at night.

All my ex’s called me a heat machine, I give off a lot myself, and I’m a woman.
My ex used to elbow me in the face in his sleep and snore so that was a big no for me lol

1

Frida and Diego had two houses, connected. I like that idea.

I love the movie Frida. What remarkable people.
I love my space and alone time. Plus, I like to watch some sports (which some women don’t like so much). I want to eventually find a partner I live with but the Frida-Diego arrangement might be best!

1

Totally, there are a lot of benefits to sharing a bed with your partner; but also having your own space. Having separate rooms gives you the best of both worlds. It's not like you can't have cute little sleepovers in the others room whenever. Nothing goes away, you simple add the freedom to breath. I personally am a tad clingy and don't often need space, but it happens; and not having any other options but to bear it would be detrimental to the health of your relatiinship.

1

My wife goes to bed early every night and I stay up very late. She gets upset that I come in and it wakes her up. At one time she slept in a different room and life was easier.

ebdb Level 7 Apr 26, 2018

Ha ha ha.. I know all about that. Talk about been there done that.. I don't know about your wife, but mine is a very light sleeper.. the slightest creek in a floorboards even downstairs..and she rolls over with expletives and jumps out of bed cursing me to He'll (she is a Christian, I don't believe in Hell thank God.. or God either) and it is pretty hard to remember where all the creeks are after a few glasses of wine or whatever..

1

I didn't like it at first, but have grown to accept it. We both sleep better and she's not exposed to dealing with my PTSD episodes which can ruin a light sleeper. Our schedules are drastically different so it works. It does kill spontaneous intimacy though which stinks but you find other ways.

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