When men request nude and sexy photos before meeting.
Yesterday I had one phone conversation and multiple texts with Nathan, 67, on Fitness Singles. He lives in California and gave me the old line, "I want to move to your town." Yeah, right. This morning I sent him this goodbye text:
Nathan,
You talked so fast it was hard to catch what you said. Just the facts, Ma'am. My mind snagged on "my brother is a sociopath," "my mother died in my house," "I was told I talk too fast by a speech therapist." Whoa.
I wanted to hear how this affected you, what you learned. To see you as a person.
You seem incapable of expressing your feelings. This is typical of men our age, and odd for someone who has been in therapy. Emotionally constipated men don't interest me.
"I couldn't fill 10 minutes with personal insights at gunpoint," a maxiofacial surgeon I met via Fitness Singles said. I laughed. He was right. Flush.
Where is your sense of humor? Conversational give-and-take? Witty banter? Instead of showing interest in me as a person, you pushed for naked, sexy pictures. You want a photo of my black underwear, really?
"I've been strikingly out with women in California," you said. I see why.
12
Enjoy being online again!
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7 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.No wonder it's so hard to find a good person online. Idiots like this ruin it for decent guys. Not to mention all the fake scammers !
marksam8484
Level 6
July 24, 2022
2
Good point.
He texted me a nude photo from the back showing his butt.
What the hell? Repulsive. I blocked him on my phone.
I got so many of those "send a sexy photo" requests it made me sick to my stomach. It's not my job to gratify your sexual impulses. You don't even know one thing about me and you have to gall to ask for that? Shows what the only thing they were interested in. I suggested they find some porn sites....
Larimar
Level 8
July 22, 2022
2
There are sites which encompass the 'Hi I'm nude!' angle. I don't use them, I think they would be likely to full of 'catfish' who are after my bank details rather than pictures of my fine legs and hairy belly!
That isn't to say I would not let a person see me nude - I have done, but that was a mutual exchange between myself and a lady I had known for a decent amount of time.
What I will not do, is to demand sexy pictures of a person I have just met on a meeting site.
Sadly, there are many men who objectify women and cannot understand the humanity of engaging with another human being whom you hope will find them attractive. For those men I suggest they stick to pure sex sites.
Sofabeast
Level 7
July 22, 2022
2
He just texted me a picture of him naked from the back with his butt showing.
"I'm blocking you now," I texted back. Done.
@LiterateHiker I've just been engaging with a lass on a dating site. She's a little older than myself, but not by much.
We've traded a few messages.
Y'know what? I've not shown her my butt online nor asked to see her in just underwear.
I've no idea if romance will blossom, but if it does, then maybe she'll wish to have a few nudies of me, but that will be in good time and private between us.
I don't know why these men always find you. I do not think they have read your profile.
vegan66
Level 6
July 22, 2022
1
Guys who never learned to cook selectively read in my profile:
Although I'm a good cook, I'm not willing to be a kitchen slave. Everyone loves those magic words: "Dinner is served."
"I'm a good cook" is catnip to them.
I have met over 50 man-children who want a mommy to take care of them. They expect a woman to do all of the meal planning, cooking, dishwashing, laundry, house cleaning, yard work and great sex.
"How do you slice a lemon?" an attorney asked. I had asked him to cut lemon wedges. I had to show him. Flush.
Okay.
How do you cut an orange then?????
First I cut around the equator. Then slice off wedges.
@LiterateHiker Not me. I cut perpendicular , top to bottom, then wedges
Thanks, I'll try that. My method of cutting an orange is pretty messy.
The ongoing misadventures in you quest for companionship via online dating apps are always entertaining to follow. Thanks for sharing.
I think I can offer some insight into why so many of these prospective dates make such monkeys of themselves right at the start. Men are loathe to be relegated to the "friend zone" so they try to establish a sexual interaction as soon as possible so you don't get the idea that they're willing to just be your buddy. It's a clumsy, proactive attempt to avoid the dreaded friend zone.
Sgt_Spanky
Level 8
July 21, 2022
4
MizJ:
Generally women see someone as a potential sexual partner fairly early or they don't. If a woman is thinking maybe and the man is pushy most of the time it's a turn off. If a guy is a good person yet it only works platonically it is not a loss. A couple of very good friendships I have started that way. If I had a female friend that might be interested I would introduce them as I want them to find someone that rocks their world.
MizJ:
@twill @Sgt_Spanky Some seem to think that an investment is only worthwhile if it's a romantic one, less value is seen if a relationship is platonic. I disagree. Our friendships enrich our lives as much and sometimes more than a romantic partner can.
The men on dating sites who have contacted me lately all have severe verborrhea, to the point where I could put the phone down, cook dinner, eat it, watch a movie, and they'd still be going on and on about nothing in particular. They seem desperate to have someone listen to them, but they don't want to listen in turn. They don't care if, or understand that a woman can be fascinating or intelligent; they just want your underwear pics. 
Last March I met someone on a site I have become friends with. He's a nice man, retired from a great job, with lots of money. The catch? I don't think I'm attracted to him, yet we are good friends. Maybe that's the thing I need right now. We both have adult sons on the autism spectrum, and get each other.
There's probably a good reason why a lot of these guys are out there, as you've unfortunately found out. Too bad there's no way to filter them before they reach you.
Organist1
Level 8
July 21, 2022
7
Love your reply. Thank you. This is hilarious and brilliant:
The men on dating sites who have contacted me lately all have severe verborrhea, to the point where I could put the phone down, cook dinner, eat it, watch a movie, and they'd still be going on and on about nothing in particular. They seem desperate to have someone listen to them, but they don't want to listen in turn. They don't care if, or understand that a woman can be fascinating or intelligent; they just want your underwear pics.
Many times I apologize to my girlfriend for talking too much on the phone. She encourages me to carry on.
But I don't think it is "verborrhea". On the phone, I anxiously want to fill the silence. IDK why. Just me.
I'm glad it does not bother her, but if it did we would talk on the phone less. Usually I start spewing late in the conversation and at that point we should probably just hang up anyway.
But anyway, I am aware of it and encourage her to tell me to shut up!
My guy friends ? I almost hate to call them ! They start rambling on : "verborrhea". And I am soon thinking......If you have so much to tell me, why didn't you call me, instead of me calling you ?!?!?!?
@twill Oh, this is way, way different. There have been 4 or 5 guys whom I think had some serious mental health issues, including one who was just dying to tell me about his theory concerning space aliens settling ancient Sumeria! He did not stop talking for 25 minutes, and I literally did put the phone down, made coffee, visited the rest room, and walked my dog, came back, and he was still doing his lecture before I asked him to stop, because I wasn't interested. There are some nice guys on there too, bur I have just not met one who is close enough. Most men don't want long-distance relationships.
Enjoy being online again!
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