DAD JOKES:

What does a baby computer call its father? Data.
@ I only get sick on weekdays. I must have weekend immune system.
@ My friend was showing me his shed. He pointed and said, "That's my step-ladder, I never knew my real ladder.
@ Did you know that you pupils are the ladt part of your body to die. They dilate.
@ I hate my job. All I do is crush cans. It's soda pressing.
@ Of all the inventions over the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.
@ What do you call a bee hive without an exit? Unbelievable.
@ This morning Siri said, "Don't call me Shirley." I left my phone in Airplane mode.
@ If prisoners could take their own mug shots, they would be called "cellfies."
@ If a pig loses its voice, does it become "disgruntled"?
@ A ship carrying red paint and a ship carrying blue paint collided in the ocean. The crew was marooned.
@ Never date a tennis player. Love means nothing to them.
@ I was at a job interview yesterday and they asked if I could perform under pressure. I said no, but added i could perform Bohemian Rhapsody.
@ I have a joke about trickle diwn economics, but 99% of you will never get it.