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I was just reviewing a members question about chat up lines.

It occoured to me that in my entire life I have never ..never..even once used a chat up line. I have had a really great social life and had a lot of amazing girlfriends and have been happily married for 13 years to a wonderful woman. My real question is are chat up lines even really necessary and if so are they important for women who would like to be approached, or just a juvenile tool for men? I would like to hear females opinions on this one too.

Hitchens 8 May 5
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1

Level 7

I take it these are what you're talking about...
[slaplaughter.danoah.com]

Hi Gina, I would like to extend to you, an invitation to the pants party...

I took a look at those, hilarious! Some of em are actually so bad that they are good! You really would need a heart of stone not to smile or laugh out loud. The one I just tried on you above is featured in the Anchorman movie, not sure if you've seen it Gina, but Steve Carell's Character tries it on the female Anchor, and messes it up to hilarious effect...thus "There is a party in my pants, do you wanna come?"morphed into the above...
Hope I didn't scare your pants off! Opps only kidding.

@Hitchens Bahahahaha! That was great! ?

@GinaMaria I'm disappointed that you couldn't make it to the pants party but I think we both had a good laugh ..hilarious cheers! ??
1

Level 8

I was taught by my mother always say something if that something were positive or helpful, but if negative or hurtful to consider my words several times before saying them. Where this sounds like a nice thing to put into practice, it has turned out that even the positive/helpful need to be carefully considered. Example? Try saying to any woman, a stranger, out of the blue, "Excuse me, you are an incredibly beautiful woman," or, "What a lovely dress." Increasingly over the past 30+ years you'll be lucky if you don't get sued. --- or worse. I weigh even the positive very carefully these days.

As for pick-up lines, I have never even thought of using one. Aside from being trite, I think they are offensive and stupid. Striking up a conversation with anyone is not all that difficult.

A comprehensive and refreshingly honest answer for sure..damned if you do dames if you don't so to speak.

A comprehensive and refreshingly honest answer for sure..damned if you do dames if you don't so to speak.
1

Level 7

Ohhhh... you mean "pick-up lines" like, "What's your sign?" I was terribly lost going through the responses, because I couldn't figure out if you meant Chat, like instant messaging, or the 1-900 chat lines for phone sex. Either way, I was way off. ?

1

Level 8

I never use chat up lines either. id much rather just be myself

It's the only way to go Leigh.

@Hitchens yes chat up lines are just creepy I think.
3

Level 9

I personally haven't been on a chat line till we tested one here this week. I tend to hang back and let others talk. Would much rather talk to someone one on one. Not into crowds.

I meant chat up lines in a social face to face scenario rather than s cyber or social media context. But yes I certainly understand that.
1

Level 8

If they are used seriously then it is a turn off. If they are used in a comedic sense it draws me in.

Yes I could see it being successful in that context.

3

Level 8

Chat up lines are for people who don't see women as equal human beings. They assume saying the right thing will work like a secret code, because they can't relate on a basic human level.

I would say you are spot on there..but some of this behaviour is probably down to male inadequacy or lack of imagination.

I would say you are spot on there..but some of this behaviour is probably down to male inadequacy or lack of imagination.
2

Level 8

The easiest way to start a conversation is to just ask a question ! Most people will simply answer it and discussion starts or follow up with another question. No pickup lines are necessary.

It might depend on the question... But excellent point.

It might depend on the question... But excellent point.
3

Level 6

These days, They’re a joke!!! A thing you say at parties to make your friends laugh! Or if said to a potential interest, An icebreaker!! I think they are hi-lar-I-ous!!!!!

I was just thinking although I have never used a chat up line..I have said to women..not intentionally but as a general observational things like wow you have really unbelievably beautiful eyes...or my goodness you have a great smile or you look really great my complements..now I can assure you none of these would be meant to chat anyone up, I would frequently say that kind of thing in genuine sincerity ..if it was true. So I don't think they count, but I could see how a woman might misinterpret that.

I was just thinking although I have never used a chat up line..I have said to women..not intentionally but as a general observational things like wow you have really unbelievably beautiful eyes...or my goodness you have a great smile or you look really great my complements..now I can assure you none of these would be meant to chat anyone up, I would frequently say that kind of thing in genuine sincerity ..if it was true. So I don't think they count, but I could see how a woman might misinterpret that.

@Hitchens yea, it’s actually so uncommon that men (I mean strangers, not all men) are forthright that I would assume someone saying that was some indication of interest. Sad, huh???!!
1

Level 8

I think any friendly, casual, sincere comment can start a conversation. Canned lines tend to sound phony and signal the woman that the guy is a player, only after sex.

Of course, most cis, hetero men really are only interested in women for sex, but most women prefer to feel special and liked for who she is, as a person.

Hi there Bird, I agree most men have sex high up on their agenda... I am no exception. The fact is our brains are hard-wired for It, and it is easy to control but very difficult to ignore or neglect it. However the trick is to find a partner who you can love that will tolerate the fact that a man is a man. But I feel sorry for men who feel the need to recite one liners, and doubly so for women that are exposed to them. ?

Hi there Bird, I agree most men have sex high up on their agenda... I am no exception. The fact is our brains are hard-wired for It, and it is easy to control but very difficult to ignore or neglect it. However the trick is to find a partner who you can love that will tolerate the fact that a man is a man. But I feel sorry for men who feel the need to recite one liners, and doubly so for women that are exposed to them. ?
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