The Whitest Kids You Know -- God Wants You to Wear a Hat
To make you taller/stand out....biggest and/or more colorful hat get's to tell the littler hats what to do....I think we should have a hat so big we can drive it around....got a license for that car....Screw you, man, this is my religious hat....
They're all old and hiding the balding. It's a distraction from the lack of hair.
Non-theist would never be able to agree on any specific hat, that's both what makes us great and keeps us from being a united power which is why we are slow to grow. If not for the internet we would still be spread out and unorganized. (My opinion of course)