Don't know what to say-I just spent 5 years fighting for my life. If you need help just ask any of us here.

Life does not stay the same for long and it changes in ways nobody would expect, for the better about as often as for the worse.

I live in America, in a partly converted small garage. It is cold a lot in the winter and really hot in the summer. Half of the time I have no government funding for medical care, except there is some provided by hospitals even for the poor. My job is hard and the pay just about covers the rent and some essentials, yes the rent is more than the amount people with money pay to buy a small house, but if you don't have enough money you have to rent.

But despite my present mood I know that in past sometimes things have gone unexpectedly well. My parents weren't any good so life started really badly, but then my wife was good, so it's ups and downs.

But as cruel as it can be ...it can also be breathtakingly magnificent. I suspect every thinking person’s considered checking out.. cuz that’s what we do, consider all options. But within those options are other options, outside the box of convention.

Seems there’s a lot of shit coming from a lot of directions, humans can be cruel and competitive … but one-on-one, I can’t think of anyone whose suggested I take myself out. None. So don’t believe the competitiveness, the cut-throat FU behaviour and aggressive arrogance -- it’s often a front ...concealing the vulnerability we all feel inside.

Slog through it ... there’ll come a time you’ll be glad you did ~

Hi Moataz

I'm about to open a thread in politics on generational conflict.

I have to go to bed soon but if you message me I'll tell you the stuff I don't really want to share.

There are times when death seems a peaceful respite. Sometimes my primary reason for living is just to see what is happening next. Death is a permanent solution to what is often a temporary problem. Choose wisely, but keep in mind, the only pain is that of the ones you left behind.

There is hope....all things shall pass

There is hope....

I've had a really bad day so I somewhat agree, but

1. Is there anyone who would be badly upset by your death? Any one close to you would be so if you don't get their permission then don't do it. If they gladly give it then they're evil and don't do it because you don't want to make evil people happy.

2. First ensure you get sunlight (vitamin D) and exercise.

3. Increasingly as neoliberalism takes over the world, life for anyone who isn't rich is getting bad. What is really needed is a sense of community among the poor.

4. get rid of TV, It's just American propaganda showing the World how wonderful it is to be some rich Americans. Few Americans are that rich, particularly among this generation, so all the TV does is upset everyone who isn't in the very rich.

5. create your own culture, share what work there is around, look after each other

If I've learned anything in my 45 years of life, it's that there are so many things that another person could go through and you will NEVER understand it unless or until you go through it yourself.

I've been on antidepressants for around 7 years or so. I think it had been going on far longer than that but what got my attention was finding myself literally begging and screaming to nobody in particular on a daily basis that I wish I could just die. I can't say I ever truly considered suicide (at least not in the sense that I went far enough to plan it out) but I did most certainly want to die. The antidepressants helped with that but I was still miserable and angry on a daily basis.

Fast forward to now, I am still on the antidepressants but I already reduced the dosage by about 1/3 a couple years ago and intend to try cutting my current dosage in half soon and see how it goes.

As to what has changed/improved for me: A couple years after starting on the meds, I told myself that I could not live like this forever - that I didn't want to be depressed for the rest of my life. The way I had understood things, once you have it you never get rid of it. I also read often that it is purely a chemical problem in the brain and is not brought on my outside factors. One day I was talking to my dad and brought this up - that I will apparently just be like this forever - and he told me that to the contrary, he thinks depression usually IS brought on by outside factors and that there has to be something causing it. After this conversation, I decided to take a long, hard look at everything in my life. There were a few things and I did make some changes that seemed to help. What remained though was one last thing, which was my marriage. I won't get into all of the details, but no matter how much I tried to tell myself that it wasn't my marriage, everything always came back pointing to it. Initially I told myself that divorce was out of the question (I have two daughters) but eventually it came down to what I could live with. Depression wasn't one of them. So now as of this writing, I am divorced. The kids are taking it pretty well and even my ex-wife didn't really fight me much on it. While I still have moments of depression, I have noticed that since making the decision to file for divorce (around 6 months ago) I already felt like an enormous weight had been lifted off of me. I know in my heart it was the right thing to do.

My point of all this blabbering is that to others who are suffering from serious depression, I would suggest three things: 1 - Definitely try to find some meds that can take the edge off, especially if you are suicidal or have a death wish like I did. 2 - Consider the possibility that it very well may be a situation in your life that can be fixed, even if it that change may not necessarily be an ideal one. 3 - Consider talking with a therapist.

I'm sure most others on this site would agree that we get but one life. Enjoy it as best you can. We know that there is no God to help us through it and we are okay with that! We are in control of our lives and we have the power to change its course.

May I suggest a book by Jennifer Michael Hecht - "Stay." It is a good look at the history of and reasons for and against suicide. Easy read and very informative. Her final words "First, choose to stay."

Don't give up. Don't give in to self pity. People care.. I care. Good exists. How can I help. You can help yourself

The church believe suicide is wrong but"God" knows everything so if he does nothing to help you what right does me have to judge you and send you to hell. He should know that depression is a hell in its self. Living with the darkness of the mind. Sitting there in the dark lonely hours with a knife knowing it would be so easy to end it all. It wasn't god that stopped me or the fear of hell. It was what if it's all rubbish. What if this is the only time we have. I have trained myself to deal with depression and it wasn't church or god that helped me. It was me understanding what was at the route of my pain and understanding how to help myself. Talking about it helps. It's not something to be ashamed of. It is just.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It is also selfish unless you are suffering a painful and debilitating disease. There is help out there if you want it, it's up to you to decide if you want to learn to be happy.

Hey...I don't know what happened but suicide is not the answer. You can talk to me if you want.

Suicide is rarely a solo act. Both of my sisters have each lost a granddaughter to suicide, one this year and the other two years ago. I can't say what pain the granddaughters, one a young teenager and the other a mom herself, we're going through, but I can say it put the families into turmoil. I'm not saying that suicide is never warranted, but it is never without consequence to those we love.

Living in a family where suicide is all too common, one thing that keeps me going through the dark times is the adage, "This, too, shall pass."

May you have many brighter tomorrows.

Life can be cruel, but think about all the people who will never be born and even have a shot at life. Your life is what you make it, but I know it is easier said than done, but please just try to find some kind of hope in your life. We won’t always exist. Stay strong, friend.

Www.supportgroups.com

I think suicide is a viable option, but not one I recommend lightly. The old saying that it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem holds a lot of truth. If I ever get to the point that I want to end my life (for a reason other than terminal illness) I think I'll just take off, travel a bit, even if by car, foot, hitchhiking, whatever, and do whatever strikes me along the way. I can end myself whenever I like, so I figure I might as well try to squeeze in some experience before I do. Worst case scenario, I don't do anything worthwhile and still go through with my plans as miserable as I was. Best case, maybe my perspective changes a bit and I find something worth living for.

That said, I hope you find something to hold on to, something that holds value for you, because after it's done there's no changing your mind. Before you decide anything, please seek professional support:

Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

In all of Jesus's so-called teachings about camels and needles and fish - raunchy shit - they are not as good as the one thing Buddha said, "To live is to suffer, to survive is to find meaning in that suffering." Or was it Nietzche? I forget.

This is gonna be really unpopular with the kids but I'm gonna say it: All I ask is if you kill yourself, don't go out like a bitch. Wrestle a bear, a tiger, a lion, oh my. Better yet, take on some animal poachers in the Sahara, we'll say you went out like a hero -
who knows, you might just enjoy it enough to stick around.

Inject speed into one arm and horse tranquilizer into the other, and rock and roll, dude! Take out a huge loan, emancipate whatever family you have - if you care enough, that is - go into outer space and let the vacuum suck your eyeballs out of your chest or something and confirm that the earth is flat... errr, round... Get a bucket list going, and if you're broke as me, start walkin'. Go inside a tornado and test out the toothpick hypothesis. There's so much fun shit you can do when you have nothing left to lose!

I've been depressed and suicidal many times for many years. I just went through two months of it October and November. I don't know how you feel about illegal drugs but pot and hallucinogens will get you through it. Hallucinogens have a real and lasting effect on depression.

Some pretty woman on FB (I just made a post on this, here) body shamed me. She used an ad hominem attack on me. I only commented on a public post about Eminem's new album. I said, "It sucked, only 2 good songs." She wrote, "Jesus christ your face sucks." With a haha smiley. I didn't reply right away. Then wrote, "You're the reason people are suicidal."