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Why does it always come down to money?

I got caught up in a number of discussions today and most involved people either getting together or breaking up. Every discussion centered around money. Who has to pay how much, who gets what.
Of course the biggest complaint is how nasty people become when money is involved. Nothing new to anyone I know. I am just continually amazed at how everything can be reduced to a few digits. I know it isn't usually straight cash, but assets just the same and based on their worth.
I have worked with a couple of guys recently who walked out on their families and refuse to support their kids, their money is worth more to them. I think we need another couple of financial crashes. Can't hurt me, I have so little to lose.

Rugglesby 8 May 31
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7 comments

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1

not with me; there is none. but i know what you're getting at, & can't fathom it either - which is probably why i never accumulated the dosh worth mentioning. every single person i know with a decent financial liberty has psychological issues that make enjoying that freedom impossible. i don't get the allure ... ?

I think wealth and freedom must be mutually exclusive.

@Rugglesby, yes, like: the more you have, the more it drags you down.

1

If you're not ready to walk away from everything but your kids or give up everything to keep your kids, the relationship isn't that bad. I left with my son, personal items and my car without a job to move in with my parents again and felt like I gained the world with my freedom.

Similar, I took my son and daughter, an old desk, and old chair and a decorative sword, not even spare clothes for kids or so much as a spoon. She kept everything, house car boat, and things I owned before I met her.Kids are in their 30s now, my ex is the crazy old lady of the town now. Very bitter and lonely, though quite well off financially.

2

Money, or lack thereof, is an important issue in relationships. Some people need more than others, and some people need other people to be their source of support. I have chosen not to pursue relationships because of financial differences. I worked hard all my life to be in a comfortable position at this point in my life. I am lucky enough to have no debt, to own my home and vehicle, and have a pension for life. I like nice things and I provide them for myself. If I was going to be with someone they would need to carry their own weight financially. I'm not looking for a sugar daddy, but I'm not going to support someone else at this point in my life.

1

I haven't carried any debt since the mid 90's. If you figure out the difference between what you need and what you think you need, you can save yourself alot of stress with the money thing.

2

Because that is how u pay for the vacation.

5

I know we all need money to survive in an industrial economy. I'm in that boat, too. When we find a 'partner' they should be on the same page, going in the same direction; or maybe in the same chapter in the same book🙂 I had a partner who didn't want to carry her own water or even try to! That kind of partner will ruin you and I grappled with it for several decades and finally she walked out and tried to find a sugar daddy. Good luck with that. Maybe it's a queer sense of entitlement or maybe it's a case of just being lazy or selfish. I have no idea but there are loads and loads of people out there of all ages and orientations that are like that. Hopefully we can all dodge the next bullet coming our way and, yet, remain responsible.

yep, one of the big problems with my ex wife, she didn't work for 15 years and was very angry when I left. When together I also did the child raising as well as working whiel we had a rural property which took a lot of effort, she just socialised. I was angry at the thought she would still get 50%, I was wrong, because she had not worked for 15 years, I was deemed to have the higher earning capacity into the future, so she got 70%. But, I got the kids, kept me broke but I still have the kids, she has an empty house.

@Rugglesby My ex had a college degree with teacher certification and a nursing license and didn't feel obligated to work and it was her house and her biological children!!! Wow, what some people think they're entitled to just freaks me out.

2

Perhaps it can't hurt you but it can certainly hurt a lot of other people.

It can, but if people stand to lose more, it is because they have more to lose, ie they have more. Here we have a problem with crazy high house prices, as prices go up, rents go up, so many people win, but also those renting or saving to buy a house lose. I have been on both sides, I have always ridden the real estate wave, so stayed ahead often, sadly,a number of times failed relationships have cost me all I have built up.

@Rugglesby I understand, agree and feel your pain.

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