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Are you cheating if you are open to your partner about your other relationship(s)?

It may be semantics, but I'm curious as to what everyone's position is on what cheating means to you.

  • 11 votes
  • 56 votes
MollyBell 7 May 31
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37 comments (26 - 37)

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7

Cheating is in the eye of the person being cheated on. If they know about it and condone it, it's not cheating.

lerlo Level 8 June 1, 2018
5

If you in an exclusive relationship with someone then, Yes, you would an honest cheater. If you are not in an exclusive relationship then, No, I would say you are not cheating.

6

That's between the partners. If the other honestly does not care then no, but if they do then it will be cheating in their head.
To me, in my relationship, it would be cheating. If I knew or was told about it, I would be gone...

3

well it depends are you throwing it in their face if you are then yes if not and you're being honest with the relationships you're having then I would say no but this has to be agreed upon by both partners at the start of the relationship otherwise this will lead to resentment and jealousy

Even open relationships can lead to resentment and jealousy.

@EdEarl Not always. it depends.

@zorialoki Agree

4

The heart wants what it wants. There’s no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that’s that.

You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.

IAS1 Level 5 June 1, 2018
7

Open relationships have to be agreed upon by both parties, with clear boundaries established in advance.

As long as both agree and are participating, there's no cheating involved.

I never forgot an architect/photographer in Lexington, KY, who said he had divorced his wife for cheating on him, remarking, "If she'd told me she wanted an open relationship, it would have been fine, but she did it behind my back, and that betrayed my trust in her."

Later on, he gave me this speech;
"It's been years since I've been with a woman, or found someone interesting enough to want to be with the rest of my life, but you seem to be that person. We can just be dance partners, be friends with benefits, have an open relationship, or have a monogamous one, whatever you want."

I was floored and nearly cried..I'd never heard anything so wonderful in my life. I opted for monogamous friends with benefits, and we got together most weekends to dance the night away and more.

12

As others have stated, cheating is breaking agreements within a relationship. If you agree to be monogamous and then pursue relationships outside of the one you're currently in, that's cheating. However, it's not cheating if you've both agreed that seeing other people is fine. Different folks have different levels of comfort when it comes to romantic endeavors which is why communication is key to avoiding any misunderstandings.

Mea Level 7 June 1, 2018

If you lie the relationship may just die. 🙂

5

You are polling us.... what is cheating to you?

That's a good question. 🙂

I voted no. ?

@MollyBell I didn't voted, do that certify me as a cheater or I still need to confess?

@GipsyOfNewSpain Somehow I think you may already have. ?

@MollyBell phew, that was a close one! But all you needed to do was ask my ex wife. She will tell you I wrote more beautiful things to my lovers than to her. That she couldn't stand. But I never had a mistress! So it was easy to call her bluff. She is working on marriage nr 3. I continue writing to women without any fear.

5

If the relationship is open then it isn't cheating. Cheating is when you promise a commitment to a monogamous relationship (or some other limitations) and you break it. People who cheat will often keep secrets and lie about cheating. So it all boils down to taking advantage of a person's trust and breaking it. If they are open from the start about their other relationships, it's not cheating, but if you're with them for a year and they admit to having another relationship when you've been under the impression that the relationship was monogamous, that's cheating.

11

Cheating is when you don't tell, and lead your mate to believe you are being true. Being open and honest allows your mate to decide whether to accept the behavior or leave. Being dishonest takes away that choice and leaves the mate feeling duped and laughed at for their naivety.

3

I was in an open relationship with my then wife, and took advantage of that. When I have been in closed relations I was all about them and not side line activity. Depends on the relationship and understanding with the people involved.

9

Cheating is about breaknng agreements. If you both agreed to be monogamous, then it is cheating. If you you have agreed otherwise it's not. There are many ways to cheat depending on what agreements are understood between the people involved.

Exactly what he said.

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