I can tell you that soulmates can be found. I found mine when I was 38. Unfortunately, we were both married to other people when we met. I had been married for 14 years at the time and she had been married for 10. Extremely long story short, my soulmate and I were married about two months ago and I have never been happier.

I hear you on the sexual abuse. Me and my wife were abused.... we had to just move on and let it go... we understand it wasn't our fault... hell, I think 5 out of 6 kids are sexually abused... some don't even know it abuse untill they think back and remember something... then it clobbers them. We all got to work through it are it will consume you. As far as soul mates go... thats just a fantascy . I wouldn't base a happiness on words... just focus on the respect the person shows you and you'll know if they are the person for you. Respect and kindness and tenderness... that's what your looking for. Love is a combination of feelings and actions that agree with you. Forget the soulmate thing.

Soulmates are real to:

A- people that believe they exist.

B- and among those - people who think they have successfully found that soulmate.

Personally, I don't believe in the concept, as there are multiple people that each of us can connect with deeply. Some of course, much more than others.

Can you define soulmate for me? I don't mean to sound uncaring, but different people have very different definitions of the word. I have several "soulmates". One of whom is my wife. We share lots of things together including sex. I have other soulmates that I would trust with my life, we spend time together, share interests and trust each other implicitly but we don't have sex - both male and female.
I guess that your family ruined your view of relationships and I too abhor sexual abuse. Sex is a beautiful thing between two consenting adults of equal stature who are making an informed choice. Gender is not an issue in this choice. Take a step back and take stock of what you want from a relationship. Dating sites are full of predators looking for a quickie. Take time to build friendships slowly, find places where you are likely to meet people with similar interests and don't go in with the expectation of finding someone to have a relationship with. We find our closest friends in the least expected places and if those friends turn into lovers great. And if they don't, that's ok too. Take your time and don't be pressured into sex is you are not ready. If they care they will respect your feelings, tell them you are not ready for sex, but also be honest if you think you are unlikely to get to that stage say so. You don't have to justify why not, but you will know when the time is right.
If you have an interest or hobby, join a club or society and get to know others with those interests.
I am lucky to have never suffered abuse, but have spent years working with the survivors and the hardest part is often recognising that it is not your fault. There is nothing you could have done at the time to change things - you had no power to make any change. I don't know where you are based, but there are a number of groups for survivors of abuse over here in the UK which can be helpful for some people to move on. I wish you luck in your search.

I guess it depends on what you mean by that. I don't believe in a soul, and therefore no soulmate. Soulmate kind of implies destined to be with each other. I don't believe in destiny either. But if you mean, "everybody has someone out there to be with and be happy", then yeah I believe that. I have not found my "soulmate" yet. But through the sheer scope of combinations of people that there are out there I believe she exists.

Taken literally, probably not. But it's a fitting metaphor for a good fit.

Had that for a time but it is possible to grow out of love. Not sure if I want to look for that kind of relationship again. I think it is possible to have a short-term sexual encounter but I think I need at lest some kind of emotional connection if I'm going to be that intimate with someone. When anyone's encountered the kind of betrayals you have it can be much harder to trust anyone with physical intimacy. Harder but not impossible. It's all about when you are ready. Your body, your rules.

I would characterize my marriage as being worthy of soulmate status. We started out as close friends and that has been the foundation for our relationship of 36 years. If you start as friends and always keep that friendship you can overcome anything life throws at you!

I don't know if there is a "soul" but I do know that men & women fit together physically like puzzle pieces. I think the trick is to find the exact right piece of the puzzle. I also think that if you give up on it then you'll never feel complete.

Unfortunately what you're describing with online dating is the fallout from society "swinging hard the other way". Sexual morals were so bottled up prior to the sexual revolution. I feel as if hookup culture misses the humanist aspect of respecting your fellow man. Morally I can't justify "just hooking up" because to me humanity evolved to have sex form social relationships. For it to be moral I would have to have consent and be willing to not become emotionally attached, something that is very hard for me. As far as finding a soulmate I believe that two people can be just that compatible. It is a rarity though and something you shouldn't have to have.

not fake. some are lucky to have that. my parents have been married 64 years and they still look in love

I think finding a “soulmate” is like discovering the wonderment of one’s child(ren). “Soulmate” means “good fit.” Nature does a pretty good job of putting us in touch with people for a reason. Whether it’s a short- or long-term relationship we are all soulmates, just undervalued if we haven’t known each other for a long time.

Hello Sarahroo29, on soulmates, I have come to the conclusion that there are different kinds of soulmates. I consider my BFF my soulmate.
I had a wonderful husband for 17 years till he passed away. For me, my girl friends are wonderful. We all want our special sometime that's kind & loving to us.
I'm looking for my special person as well.
It does happen. I have experienced it.

I would say that soul mates do exist, and if someone is lucky enough to find one then they are far more wealthy than any billionaire on the planet.

Most people settle. Some stay single. A very lucky few find a genuine life partner who brings them fulfillment in all ways.

"Hope is gone, and she confessed
When you lay your dreams to rest
You can get what's second best,
But it's hard to get enough."

• David Wilcox, Eye Of The Hurricane

I've found soulmates within smaller spheres - like politics & art, but not the whole "relationship" ball of wax.

On the issue of finding, "the one".

I don't believe in a 'soul' as such. But there are people who seem to resonate deeply with our nature, though it may only be a time, before they move on. Which is as it should be, providing we are truly unconditional to each other. It is indeed a wonderful thing when we meet such people who travel on the same path with us, no matter how long or short that path might be.

I have mixed feelings on this. I've found someone I've considered my soulmate who only ended up hurting me after 5 years of this feeling. So that makes me want to learn towards no, soulmates do not exist and like many say it's just who can you stand the easiest. However statistically with 8 billion people on the planet, the possibility of a soulmate situation probably exists. I've SEEN relationships that look like a soulmate pair, so maybe I just haven't rolled the die well enough yet.

Also, sorry about your experiences. I've just about given up too. So many open relationships and hook-ups, and maybe I'm just an older soul but I'm really not about that. Maybe someday all of us will find our soulmate, you never know. Stay strong.

I had a soulmate for more than 20 years, but cancer took her 10 years ago. I love to think I will find another, but I'm not very hopeful.

My sister found her soul mate after 55 years of being alive. Turns out he went to the same school, but they didn't talk much. Later on in life thanks to a school reunion, she messaged him thinking he was another person (her boyfriend and the person she was trying to get up with that the same first and last name, whose last name also happens to be her last name. No, they aren't related at all! Lol.) and they hit it off. They have been together 4 years now. For those wondering why she hasn't married him yet, it is because she doesn't feel the need to and the only reason she would, would be for all the legal stuff. But they are pretty independent when it comes to bills and stuff.

I think anyone who uses the term soul mates is perhaps trying to over glorify their relationship. I do believe you can meet someone and have unique or special connection, which will be based on similar interests, similar sense of humor, similar worldview, similar aspirations etc etc. To say that two souls are mates that were made for each other by a deity or whatever, just kind of over inflates the reality of it...

I'm sorry to hear about your history of abuse. I can't even imagine what that's like and how it sticks with you. Are you going to a therapist? That seems like it would he a healthy and productive thing to do.

Have you tried bumble app? It seems to me to be an app for people who actually want to find a personal connection with another person. It's the complete opposite of Tinder or the like.

Stay strong, and never let anyone feel that you aren't worthy of love or commitment and never settle for less than you want in a relationship.

I think people can meet and be together for a long time, if they are lucky, that is. I don’t know about soulmate, though. I wouldn’t take that term as nothing more, but just a meaning of two people being very competitive.

I would have say quite categorically, NO. To have or be a soulmate one must believe in a soul.
Most love seems to be one sided, one party is more in love than the other.
A person in love really believes in the absolute value of the beloved, who in love is always held to be in greater and incomparably more valuable than the loving subject, because real love of its essence aims at the absolute. The absolute is its only object; all other objects leave it unsatisfied.
I feel that mutual love is an inter-subjective experience. In affection finding the other is inseparably connected with finding oneself and visa versa. Each enters the limelight cast by the others consciousness and in so doing each comes within the luminous sphere of his own radiation which while illuminating the other is reflected in his own consciousness. Mutual love is a reciprocal relationship. The experience of one is also that of the other. Did I mention I am emotionally challenged? Everything for me must be understood rather than felt.

Unfortunately I think ones dating sample size has to be larger to really get a good grasp of the kind of people that are around you. You don't really get a full picture after only dating two people.