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My long time cat friend Einstein (almost 18 years). All that can go badly for a cat with end stage kidney failure is happening to him. I want to do what I can, and I was up all night crushing up pills to put into a solution to give him, because he won't/can't eat anymore. His organs are failing, and he's lost what's left of his weight in just the last week. See how meaty he used to be... now he's frighteningly lightweight and weak. It's hitting me so hard, as the dying of my other cat friends have hit me, along with my brother's death just days ago and everything else we're all dealing with: Aretha, McCain, our country. I'm alone in the world now; without any family or friends. Some of you nice people who've cared before, who can obviously relate come close to that, if only with whom I can share and expect a virtual hug. Whenever I see someone else who's struggling in pain or grief I try to help, but it's not hard for those of us who are given to care in the first place, right? Here are some photos: he expressed interest in the toilet, but only to take a peek. He liked to do the face plant too, and follow me everywhere... so loyal. He even protected me and our other cats from aggressive dogs! Now he can't manage the loft where I sleep, where he loved to be near me. The last photo is of him in the towel cubby hole. It's a hiding behavior because he feels so weak and fragile. I am actually afraid to weigh him. I'm so emotional right now. Grief stricken and it will get worse. Tears are streaming; I can't stop them and it's going to make the vet uncomfortable... I've made them cry at times. I know what's coming and there's no more avoiding it.

By SACatWalker8
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22 comments

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3

I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. Cry all you need to at the vet. You can even have alone time with Einstein before and after the procedure. They’re totally used to it and often cry themselves. ((Virtual hug))

Sydland Level 7 Aug 31, 2018
3

I’m so sorry you two are going through this but he knows you love him and are there to be with him. Sending hugs your way

IrishTxJudy Level 8 Aug 31, 2018
2

Oh my what a gorgeous guy! I’m so sorry he and you must struggle with this. Life seems to be really laying into you right now. I hope he passes in peace. Hugs! ?

Justjoni Level 7 Aug 31, 2018
2

So sorry to hear what you have been, and are, going through. It looks as though Einstein has lived a proper cat's life. Hugs.

itsmedammit Level 7 Aug 31, 2018
2

I am so sorry

Kahuna Level 6 Aug 31, 2018
2

I'm so very sorry.

purcascade Level 5 Aug 31, 2018
2

So sorry things are this way. I'm glad you've had such a long time with him.

d_day Level 7 Aug 31, 2018
2

??what a beautiful cat, this makes me sad. ??

Sheannutt Level 9 Aug 31, 2018
2

So sorry man. Had to do this with too of my kitty loves. Love him up for as long as he's willing to stay with you. That last trip to the vet is so hard. Peace

kmdskit3 Level 8 Aug 31, 2018
2

I'm so sorry. All you can do is keep him comfortable as long as that's possible. So sad!

Deb57 Level 8 Aug 31, 2018
2

I am so very sorry. Sorry for your pain, sorry for your kitty's struggle. Hugs to you.

AmiSue Level 8 Aug 31, 2018
2

I'm really sorry he is a beautiful creature. I hope you stay strong my friend. My thoughts and strength to you.

Electro68 Level 7 Aug 31, 2018

@SACatWalker @SACatWalker you're very welcome, I just hate to see you in a bad way. Look up my friend, it's magnificent.

1

What a dear sweet kitty. My heart goes out to you both.

Elusia8 Level 6 Sep 1, 2018
1

Your cat needs you more now than ever. I have buried 4 of my best cat friends in the past 14 years.
Here's a poem I found years ago, written as if the author were a cat.I hope it will give you some peace as it did me.

If I Should Grow Frail

If it should be that I grow frail and weak
and pain does keep me from my sleep,
then will you do what must be done
for this - the last battle - can't be won.

You will be sad; I understand
but don't let grief then stay your hand.
For on this day, more than the rest
Your love and friendship must stand the test.

We have had so many happy years;
you wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please let me go.

Take me to where my needs they'll tend,
only, stay with me until the end.
And hold me firm and speak to me
until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time you will agree
it is a kindness you do for me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
from pain and suffering I have been saved.

Don't grieve that it must now be you
who has to decide this thing to do.
We've been so close - we two - these years,
don't let your heart hold any tears.
__Anonymous

Ray13 Level 7 Aug 31, 2018
1

There is a monumental problem beingg stated here. Our creature children do not out live us. We take them in they become our children, we love them, we care for them, we take them to the vet even if we cannot afford to do so. They occupy a place in our being, not only our hearts, but in our being, in who and what we are. All we can do is love and care for them, as we do our children, but as we cannot do for our children, we can do something so that our loving creatures do not have to live through pain, they do not have to go through pain and discomfort, just to go through it. We can let them go realizing that they are a great part of us and realizing that it is going to hurt us as it hurts our lovable creatures. We can also reach out to other little beings, take them home, and give them the same we gave those who have passed. What else can we do,, we outlive these lovable creatures.

dalefvictor Level 7 Aug 31, 2018
1

I am so sorry for your loss. I share your tears. He's not just a cat, it's your baby and your friend. You were a good person for him, and you will do what is right. Don't let him suffer. Never, ever, ever be ashamed of your tears. It tells me you have a good, tender heart. Remember the good times with your buddy, and let him go into that long good night. (((((AJ)))))

HippieChick58 Level 9 Aug 31, 2018
1

You gave him a good, long life, and anyone who cares for a cat is pretty OK in my book.

Max_d_cat Level 7 Aug 31, 2018
1

I'm so sorry ??? I'm crying with you.

1

I am so sorry! Ripping out the little piece of your heart that needs to go with him is a painful thing I wish you strength to get through this and send many hugs.

Hathacat Level 9 Aug 31, 2018
1

I'm so, so sorry.

Booklover Level 7 Aug 31, 2018
1

I'm sorry you're going through this. I know how difficult it is as I've been in the same situation with a number of cats. My little girl, Silver, had a deformed ear just like your kitty and I'm ashamed to say I kept her around too long to satisfy my own selfish needs. I bottle fed her from a week or two old and had her put to sleep at 18 years 3 months. She was skin and bones. And, she was a wonderful little girl. Her favorite things to eat besides her cat food were crunchy Cheetos and American cheese. I'm sending you a bunch of STRONG virtual hugs because I know you will need them. My heart is heavy for you as I remember the five beauties that were friends to me.

Alvinsmama Level 8 Aug 31, 2018
1

My 17 year old cat is still early stages with hyperthyroidism. I'm watching her closely so that I can put her down before she starts experiencing too much pain.

Sorry about your kitty

PhoebeCat Level 7 Aug 31, 2018
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