To all you pro-choice people (like myself), what is the argument against men having the option to refuse financially supporting the future child?
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I don't think this should be dismissed as readily as some seem to have done.
If the woman does not want to be a mother and the father does want to be a father, the matter is settled because it is the woman's body that is needed to develop the fetus.
But if the man does not want to be a father but the mother does want to be a mother, she has the right to force the father into the parent role she could have easily refused. And then he would be obligated to provide parental support to this child he does not want?
Perhaps the validity of this point will become more apparent when an artificial womb is developed. Then when a woman does not want to be a mother and the father does want a child, then he should be able to have the fetus removed from the mother, developed in an artificial womb and obligate the mother to child support??
Hmmmmm???? Now that would be fair ..... right???
Normanbites
Level 7
Aug 16, 2020
0
I'm a little confused by the double negative; but I'll try to add my 2 cents...
Are we in favor - or not in favor - of men having the option to refuse support a woman expecting a child?
This is tough. It will depend on the state and nation where the child care issue, the conditions of your relationship with the woman at the time of impregnation...and the condition of the relationship now.
It often comes down to personal values...of the couples involved and the judges/courts, if they get involved.
In general...decades ago it was more tolerable to hear about a man impregnating a woman then bailing on responsibility...that seems to have become less tolerable.
We hear, more often, of the need to be responsible for birthing a child. The world is growing by over a hundred more births, than deaths, per minute....it's generally irresponsible to even talk about not being responsible for a future child.
If it's you and you're looking for a strong defense...we'd have to know who "enticed" who. We'd have to know your income and relationship status; were you/are you married? To the same woman? Did you impregnate another while married to someone else? As you see there's lots we don't know....so it's a "loaded" question.
Robecology
Level 9
Aug 13, 2020
0
@Radu No man with even a small amount of morality would choose to reject financial responsibility.
He impregnated her.
It's now up to him to persuade her to either keep the child or abort it. If she goes against his wishes he can file for divorce; but that still would make most men throughout the civilized world still share at least a token amount of responsibility for sharing some costs in raising the child.
That's why family planning and birth control is so important.
If you don't use it...you must "pay the piper" almost everywhere in the world.
Both men and women have choice. Men have the choice of whether or not to impregnate by taking precautions during sex. They can also make sure they don't have sex with a woman that they are sure would want to keep the child no matter what.Women have that same choice except when raped. When a pregnancy occurs the woman has a choice about whether or not to carry it to completion. Over 50% of the time when she chooses to keep the child as an unmarried woman she ends up either providing for it herself or depending on the government to provide for it. Realistically, most non custofial parents don't pay their child support. I know that is not your question But I feel it should always be part of the conversation.
I think that since men do not have the ability to experience the physical and emotional aspects of pregnancy, they should not have any choice about whether or not it is completed to term. If I a woman wants to complete the pregnancy, the emotional burden of being forced to have an abortion would be criminal.
The pro pregnancy crowd thinks the child should have a choice too.
I think it's important that however a child comes into this world the adults responsible for that need to care for it. Children that do not have financial support from both parents usually experience a very underprivileged life.
Lorajay
Level 9
Aug 13, 2020
3
@Lorajay Exactly what you said! Thank you!
I think it's up to the two who created the child, they need to have a discussion. Plus he should always wear a condom to protect himself if he doesn't want children or get a vasectomy.
MichelleGar1
Level 9
Aug 13, 2020
2
@Radu Like I said the man can take precautions.
@Radu True. He would have to have a discussion with the person he impregnated and see if he can reason with her, unfortunately there are no other options. Again if he took precautions he would have the upper hand, no unwanted child and no child support payments
@Radu I saw his comment.
It took two the mother and the father to create the child, it's both of their responsibility. If they don't want children they both should take precautions.
If one doesn't want a child, they should both have a discussion about it. Decide what is best for them and the child. Unfortunately there's nothing more.
@Radu That could be a possibility of not having the responsibility. They would have to battle it out in court.
I had to pay child support too, so it doesn't matter if you're the mother or father. If I had the opportunity to relinquish all maternal rights, would I? No, I made the child
@Radu It would be interesting to see the outcomes if that law were ever passed. We already see when the woman decides but if the father lawfully forces the mother to carry the child to term.
@Radu You stated theoretically if a law was passed where it was the father's choice for the mother to either carry the child to term or abort it.
@Radu My phone doesn't allow me to copy and paste. It's there, not in my exact words
@Radu It's a throwback to a time when society expected a man to marry a woman, if they had got her pregnant, and a married man was expected to provide for his wife and family.
Technically, a woman cannot get an abortion in many countries, unless she can prove that the birth would risk her physical or mental well-being.
I guess that, as the woman bears the burden of childbirth, and in these cases they man is often not interested in marriage, or support, the woman has been given the right to choose over abortion.
There needs to be a reasoned debate upon this issue of rights, and more importantly, responsibilities regarding the consequences of conception, and move on from what are the Victorian attitudes that are present in many countries.
A man should support his children, both financially and personally. As the child of a failed marriage, I suffered abuse from two stepfathers, a fate i wish on no child. Furthermore, my absent father provided no guidance, which left me without a male role model. With years os self examination and cultural observation, I've succeeded in becoming a whole person, healed from my early childhood, but not everyone can do that.
Children grow up to make the next evolution of culture. Why is the US culture so screwed up?
EdEarl
Level 8
Aug 13, 2020
2
This Be The Verse is a poem by Philip Larkin, and sums it all up in the first line: "They fuck you up, your mum and dad. Some people live life never realising this.
When you stare into the Abyss, the Abyss stares back at you.
I don't entertain such an argument myself.
It has nothing at all to do with a womans choice.
There are no reasons to tie the two together.
I do agree that paternity has been unfairly used to make men suffer.
Like the guy in Georgia that paid child support for 18 years because the jury laughed at him when he presented medical documentation of his vasectomy two years before the child was born.
Again, this has nothing at all to do with womens choice.
Willow_Wisp
Level 8
Aug 13, 2020
0
The only argument I heard was from Dave Chappelle. He said if the woman decides to have the child, she pays for it.
brentan
Level 8
Aug 13, 2020
0
I think that the pendulum swung in the complete opposite direction when it was decided that men had had the upper hand for too long.
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