Good therapists are worth their weight in gold. They've helped me sort things out and guided me on my path.

Bingo. In my case that is very true. My father decided to start a new family with a new wife when I was 2 years old. My mother had to work full time. My brother wasn't interested in talking to me. I guess the lesson I learned is that the people I was supposed to depend on let me down, so I had to find my own way. And when I find myself growing dependent on someone I bail before they bail on me. Just a thought.

i also agree with the latter part. i would add that being rejected as a child leads both to abandonment issues and lack of self worth. Thinking one is not worthy of being loved and one is bound to be abandoned at some stage (true in the form of death, which we tend to obsess on anyway) we make the pre-emptive strike (self-sabotage) and end the relationship first, as the original poster mentioned often on ridiculous grounds. So yes it requires some work (or Therapy). Apologies to TheoryNumber3, just realised you are the original poster lol. i should pay more attention

@SimonCyrene I think you just nailed it!

@TheoryNumber3 regrettably i have too much experience of this but awareness helps, i think i am healing but i'm not sure, having just ended another disasterous relationship. I have a tendency to be drawn to broken people (being broken myself perhaps?) and relationships that could never last. Have you done that yet? I did manage to stay in a relationship for 20yrs which produced two fine sons i will be eternally grateful for though.

@SimonCyrene Yes... I think I am drawn to dysfunctional people as well. Maybe there's some sort of camaraderie there that draws us in. On the other hand sometimes I think there are more whack jobs out there than "normal" people... although really who is normal once you've gotten to know them? I read a meme last week that said a true friend is someone you know everything about and you still like them.

@TheoryNumber3 yes i had one of those friends but life became too much for her. relationships and friends are two different things though. relationships have expectations! lol.

@SimonCyrene Good one. I never thought of it that way. If I may, I might expound (or is it expand?) on that and say that I have high expectations from someone I'm in a "relationship" with, low expectations from friends and absolutely none from acquaintances. Strangers can KMA! lol

Your situation just sound like a romantic relationship that wasn't properly resolved and I don't think has much to do with introversion. Nice of you to try and understand the introvert though.

@itsmedammit Her explanation was filled with all of the things Theory said. That's what got my attention about the post.

@LimeySteve Totally get it and I wonder if Theory's experiences have less to do with introversion and more with life and her unique self. Actually I have days where I wonder that about myself. I share some of what Theory said but think they may have more to do with other things besides introversion.

@itsmedammit I'm afraid I must respectively disagree with you. Theory's experiences have everything to do with introversion, which is based on her life and unique self. Introversion does not have a set criteria that must be met, nor is it a pathological condition; it is simply the preference of solitude over social interaction, which varies depending on personality or circumstances.
I do not think it is that unusual for someone to "self-sabotage" a relationship, intentionally or unintentionally, if that person feels that the relationship is becoming too invasive to their personal physical, mental, or emotional space.

@StevenWilbur I am quite familiar with introversion. I think plenty of people self-sabotage for a variety of reasons, regardless of their "version". I also think that introversion does not preclude someone's ability to develop long-standing, strong emotional connections.

I wonder if your housemate is getting uncomfortable with being dependent on you (although I think the simple fact of dependency is more important than who she is dependent on). I would find it hard to have to live by someone else's rules and preferences, no matter how much I liked the person. So that may be influencing the situation as well as her introvert tendencies that play a role.

@itsmedammit I'm not sure I agree with you on that last one. I have some long standing attachments, but I'm not sure how committed I am to them. And that was my point. I don't think I allow myself to form those very emotional connections to people. They make me uncomfortable.

@TheoryNumber3 I was just wondering if it had to do with introversion or some other aspect of yourself. I do have some of the same issues.

@citronella She is no longer dependent. She has a great job now. The only rule I have is don't burn down the house.

@itsmedammit that's what I was hoping you guys could help me figure out. ,. I know part of it may be abandonment issues and part may be a dislike of emotional intrusion because of my introversion.

@StevenWilbur Thank you Steven. I was getting a little tired of the judgmental response to this post. I thought this was a place where you could open up without fear of being judged instead of being told by multiple people that I need therapy. Guess I was wrong.

@TheoryNumber3 There are haters everywhere. There are just fewer of them here. Of course, with fewer people here in general, I guess the ratio works out the same.

They last for me as long as I don't spent too much time with them. I have some long standing friends that I talk to or see every week or two. It's the ones I see and talk with constantly and start to become dependent upon that I have problems with.