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I identify as bigender. Most LGBTQ+ people don’t even know what that is. πŸ˜‚

inigomontoya 6 Sep 12
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I'm a human being who identifies as gay male and Im attracted to traditionally male scripted gay men. I'm not attracted to stereotyped queeny gay men like Charles Nelson Reilly or drag queens, but I think I'd like to be friends with Boy George. I think he's very articulate and intelligent and an individual. He'd be fun at a dinner party. When seeking friends I prefer people like myself that people don't say there's two. I think LGB people know our own kind though. I guess we call it gaydar.

Mickey Level 5 Dec 30, 2022

Hi inigomontoya!
There is the neverending challenge of all labels. People are forever redefining them. Already we are suggesting differing conversations, one of persons of two spirits, and the other of ample tushies.
It would be lovely, perhaps, to exist in a social world in which binary gender was not the default presumption, and therefor, we could ostensibly do away with gender labels and all share the same pronouns, letting us define who we personally are instead of presuming dozens of traits about us based on a gender category.
But that isn't the world we live in. We have powerful, suffocating gender norms, pressures to conform to gendered streotypes of style, mannerism, and interests. Given that fact, the existance of people publicly declaring their identity as gender-fluid, gender-non-binary, bi-gender, (big-ender) or any of a number of other labels I am sure someone with create, whatever their impact on other people's confusion or bemusement, certain serve the purpose of challenging societal binary conformity assumptions.
Ode to bigenders:

And that is a good thing.

I don’t publicly declare it... I only declare it when I am in an LgBT friendly place which I am not so certain of ... based upon your derision

@inigomontoya Derision? Sorry. Not intended. I did reference that some responses here treating the subject as entertainment. The Queen video clip is a (intended to be lighthearted) reaction to others' responses to the double-entendre. I see it muddled the message, unfortunately.

I said challenging gender assumptions is a good thing. That is not derision. But people (myself included) get confused about intended message when labels keep changing or being added to. Perhaps it would help for you to clarify how you came to that term and how it fits you better than ones people have already heard of more.

@MikeInBatonRouge Well no offense but that’s personal to me. I only share personal things when I feel comfortable with most people do. BTW this is not some kind of bandwagon political correctness carnival for me. I have lived with the challenges of BEING bigender. Whether or not you agree or disagree I am not concerned. Let me just remind you that we all want to feel accepted and loved

@inigomontoya Sure we do, and all deserve to feel that. But while you are declaring how personal and private this is for you, that you owe no explanation to anyone, let me just remind you that YOU posted this. That IS an invitation for some kind of response. And people are going to respond variously, depending on how they interpret the post. So many posts are placed on this sight in a spirit of someone or other's sense of humor that it is a given that if you make a declaration like you did, with no clarification, people's responses WILL go in various directions. And you act shocked at this?


Hey bigender.

All the best.

With respect.


big ender?

Mooolah Level 8 Sep 12, 2021

I've grown tired of labeling people. They are people so all have exactly the same right to life and pursuit of happiness. The labels aren't needed and actually cause division so I suggest just going after Human Rights.

rainmanjr Level 8 Sep 12, 2021

Well it was helpful to me. I understood myself after realizing what my actual gender was and why I was often bullied for no apparent reason. I now realize that gender is a spectrum rather than binary.

@inigomontoya It is helpful in a personal sense but not in a social one. Possibly that is the disconnection. Concentrating on Human Rights, again, would automatically encompass every distinction of behavior so I don't see the problem with an egalitarian modality.

@rainmanjr I'm with you on this one. Gender is a nonsensical man-made construct. Don't know what it's good for or why we need it; seems to only cause problems and pain.

@rainmanjr My reply seems to suggest I'm not at all progressive. That was not my intent. I'll be respectful of how people want to be addressed even though I think we'd be better off with no labels at all.

@JeffMurray I think that's just respectful and agree that it should be done. Most people refer to me as a dipshit so, again, labels.

So... I say I am bigender and you want to argue with me about it. Why? Why can’t I identify however I want to identify? Who made you god over my life? I think these comments are insensitive to say the least. Frankly, I don’t recall asking for anyone’s opinion about how I identify my gender. This thread is very hostile in tone. I had one person say something purely supportive. This is supposed to be an LGBT friendly group. Right? It doesn’t seem to friendly to LGBT at least not from this sample of folks. I feel ganged up on.

@inigomontoya Saying we should put every distinction in the Human Rights basket and fighting for humans bothers you, eh? Well there's nothing personally insulting about the idea and, in the end, you get your rights so oh well.

@inigomontoya I understand what you're saying when you say you actually understood what gender was now and that it's a spectrum and now you understand why you were bullied for no apparent reason. That's the part of our gay lives that's so hard to understand. The bullying can be very demeaning but it has gotten better as we've become more mainstream.

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Posted by inigomontoyaI identify as bigender. Most LGBTQ+ people don’t even know what that is. πŸ˜‚

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